UPJOKE
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An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.

Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

1. A Bi...

I went to a barbeque food truck with a silver dollar.

I handed it to the lady and said, "Could I get some fries for this?"

"Sure, but what else do you want?" Confused, I said "Well, just the fries. This is all I have." She seemed slightly annoyed, "Ok, sir... But would you prefer a baked potato, green beans, cornbread or mac and cheese to go alo...

I fell asleep with my iPhone under my pillow last night and when I woke up, it was gone and replaced with a shiny new silver dollar...

Damn that Blue-Tooth Fairy!

George Washington and the Silver Dollar

According to legend, George Washington once threw a silver dollar across the Patomac River. You can't do this today because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.

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Eyes on the prize

It was a slow night at the Casino, just a few regulars playing the slots…

Two bored dealers were standing at the "mini-craps" table when out of nowhere, an incredibly attractive blonde woman from South Alabama placed a $5,000 bet on a single roll of the dice.
With a deep southern drawl, ...

A teacher starts working at a new school

A teacher starts working at a new school. He soon finds out that one of the kids is always being bullied and picked on. Everyone calls this kid "Manny the Fool". During one of the breaks he asks some of the students how Manny earned his nickname. The kids laugh and offer a demonstration. They call M...

A feghoot by Isaac Asimov.

"Feghoot watched with interest as a husband and wife were brought in, charged with disturbing the peace. During a religious observation, when for twenty minutes the congregation was supposed to maintain silence, while concentrating on their sins and visualizing them as melting away, the woman had su...

An American, an Englishman, and a Terrorist are getting ready to skydive...

Before jumping out of the plane, they decide to toss a lucky item out the door, to ensure a safe landing. The American tosses his lucky Silver Dollar and then jumps out. The Englishman tosses his lucky Sterling Silver coin and then jumps. The Terrorist drops his lucky grenade and then jumps.
...

One hot and dry day in the Wild West, this dog walks into a saloon and says, "Gimme a beer".

Evidently this type of thing wasn't too rare 'round those parts because the bartender said, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve dogs here." The dog then took out a silver dollar, dropped it on the bar, and said, "Look, I got money, and I want a beer." This scene had the potential to get ugly. The bartend...

An old woman was driving down the highway...

An old woman was driving down the highway at 35mph when a highway patrol officer pulled her over. He asked the woman if she knew why he pulled her over. She said "I have no clue, officer. I was obeying the speed limit..." The officer then replied with "Ma'am, you were traveling far too slow to be dr...

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A Jewish woman marries a Saudi prince, and her mom is very upset. NSFW

The daughter invites her mom to live with them in his palace. After a month, the daughter goes into her mom's room one morning, interrupting her Mom's daily massage.

She tells her mom, "Mom, things aren't going so great. All he wants is anal sex. When we got married, my asshole was the s...

Just after the US Civil War, a handsome and proper Texan Colonel, a beautiful young debutante, and a foppish city boy from the east found themselves travelling by train through the heartland of Texas.

As they rode in silence, the Texan couldn't help but notice the city boy kept staring at the young woman. He scowled his disapproval each time he caught the boy's eye, but the boy kept staring at the woman.

Finally, the city boy screwed up his courage, placed his hand on the debutante's knee,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jewish Girl And A Greek Boy Fall In Love

When the Jewish girl tells her father that she has fallen in love with a Greek boy and wants to marry him, he hits the ceiling. He forbids it, on pain of disownment. The girl goes ahead and marries the boy, anyway. The old man does not even go to the wedding and stops talking to her altogether....

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