Shopping Center Jokes - 18 Hilarious Shopping Center Jokes

Once you’ve seen one shopping center......

You’ve seen the mall.

Why was the shopping center’s father ashamed?

He didn’t raise his daughter to be a strip-mall!

Did you hear about the shopping center that burned down?

Nothing was left but Kohl’s.

What do you call a shopping center for Sith lords?

A Darth mall.

A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas.

The husband wandered off as she was standing in line, saying something about being back in a little bit.

After getting through the line, the husband wasn't back yet and since they still had more shopping to do, the wife called him on the mobile. The wife said, "Where are you?"

He said,...

I'm gonna open a shopping center for epileptics,

and call it the Grand Mall

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from many men.

It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return....

I entered a contest where the grand prize was a shopping center, but I lost

Can't win the mall

I tried bidding on a shopping center in a real estate auction, but I was outbid at the last minute. I guess the old saying is true:

You can't win a mall.

A doctor who ran his clinic out of a shopping center was shut down this week...

He was sued for mall-practice.

As a commercial real estate agent, I especially enjoy showing of the shopping centers...

Cause once you've seen one, you've seen a Mall!

It's almost Halloween

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "You can tell its getting closer to Halloween," the guy tells the bartender. "Just today I saw a gal dressed up like Snow White working in the shoe store down in the local shopping center .... She was the fairest of the mall."

I punched a white guy at the gas station last week and got arrested for grievous bodily harm...

Punched a black guy in the shopping center today and got arrested for impersonating a police officer...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy and his balloon

A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something, but the boy continues.

"Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off." You're going to break something. He stops and eventually Mom leaves for...

My dad's lame holiday joke

During the holiday season, a man is aimlessly drifting around a shopping center, wondering what to get his wife for Christmas. Wandering into a pet store, he asks the shop assistant, "Hey, buddy, you got anything with a Christmas-type theme in here?"

"Well, there is Chet, the parrot," the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mall Security pick up a lost boy...

Mall Security pick up a lost boy at the shopping center.

The Mall cop asks, "Who were you with?"

The little boy answers, "My Granddad."

The Mall cop asks, "What's he like?"

The little boy thinks for a moment and replies, "Whisky and women with big tits."

Stay Stay!!!!!

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.

I walked to the curb backw...

That shopping

A man picks up answers a phone in the shopping center.

"Hello darling I recently saw a necklace in a catalog and I want it so do you mind if I use your credit card?"

"How expensive is it? The man says.
" just $1200"

Man replied "that cheap? Hell I'll get four of them for...

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