Kent Jokes - 29 Hilarious Kent Jokes

Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him.

After some time, Lois said “Darling, I have to confess something. Years ago, I had an affair with Superman. It was only one night, but I’ve regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me.”

“You don’t need to worry about that because,” Clark said as he took off his glasses, “I am Superman!...

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There once was a man from Kent

whose dick was so long that it bent.

So to save him some trouble,

he tucked it in double,

and so instead of coming, he went.

Do limericks count as jokes?

I'm the reverse Clark Kent

I don't recognize anyone without my eyeglasses.

What do Lois Lane, Kent Brockman, and a Kotaku writer have in common?

They're all journalists in somebody's imagination.

"Mr. Clark Kent your son was hit by a car."

"That's terrible, is the driver alright?"

Lately people seem to think I'm from Kent, I don't understand it..

But I keep hearing everyone whisper it when I walk past.

Clark Kent looked ill when I invited him to our Bitcoin trading party after work.

I wonder if he has an aversion to Crypto Night.

Why did Clark Kent never have a babysitter?

Because he had super vision.

What do you call Clark Kent when he's dizzy?

Stuporman.

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In Kent a business man was con

In Kent a business man was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Essex and I need some help. If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take o...

I hear Clark Kent is quite the overprotective father.

His children are under constant supervision.

Times were tough at the Daily Planet and Perry White was forced to fire a star reporter. Either Lois Lane or Clark Kent.

He struggled making a decision for days until he went to the grocery store and saw a sign. The next day he called both of them into his office where fired Lois Lane. After she left, Clark Kent asked him, "Perry, how did you decide which of us to fire?" He replied, "I couldn't make a decision until I...

A Book Series Never Written…

“The Assignment Chronicles”

* Book 1 written by Ken U. Duitt

* Book 2 written by Noah Kent

* Book 3 written by Nora Cannai

* Book 4 written by May Neether

* Book 5 written by Al Trayet

* Book 6 written by Cole Laktiv-Raleif

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How to break bad news like a boss

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Kent? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Kent, that your parrot, he is dead".

"My parrot? Dead? The one that w...

Three vampires enter a dim bar in Kent.

The barmaid asks "What'll you have gentlemen?"

Flashing his best spooky grin, the first vampire says "I'll have a glass of blood" When she asks second vampire, he says,"Glass of blood please" She looks at the third vampire and he smirks and says, "I'll take a glass of plasma"

She shr...

A pregnant woman is talking to her friend

A pregnant woman, who is expecting twins, is talking to her friend. The friend asks her:

"Have you already picked some names you like?"

"Yes. If it's girls I want to name one Kate."

"Why?"

"So the other one can be DupliKate."

...

"And what if it's boys...

A joke my late grandad used to tell me

2 men, Mr. Kent and Mr. Olsen are on the roof of a 20 story building. Mr. Kent turns to Mr. Olsen and says "The great thing about this building is that they've rigged it to prevent suicides". Mr. Olsen asks how and Mr. Kent says "If anyone jumps off the roof, something in the building pulls you in t...

Super table

Clark Kent: *puts glasses on table*

Lois Lane: Is that our table? I don't recognize it.

SuperClark.

Clark kent: i'm looking for a classical game for my Nintendo Switch

Gamestop employee: You can't go wrong with Super Mario.

Clark Kent: [looking around] Haha, don't you have a regular mario?

Gamestop employee: wha-

Clark Kent: [loudly] because i'm just a regular man.

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My wife and I stopped by the optician's to pick up my new glasses.

Once the optician finished he minor adjustments, my wife looked up at me and said, "Wow, you look amazing! Like Clark Kent!" It made me smile...

We had other errands to run, and the compliments just kept coming; "You look like a movie star! So sexy!" Man, I felt great. In fact this kept up f...

The last time I went through a TSA checkpoint at an airport I was wearing my contact lenses.

The TSA guy looked at my driver's license, looked at me, and looked at his my driver's license again. He started to turn to get his supervisor. I said "if you want, I'll put my glasses on, I have them with me." He looked bewildered, but he cleared me through all by himself.

Now I understa...

New glasses

"New glasses? They look super, man!"
Clark Kent begins to sweat.

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Timbuktu

The teacher told the class to make up a poem about Timbuktu, to recite in front of the class.

The first child recited hers:

"When I was lying in my bed

I dreamt of a ship with funnels red

A beautiful ship, its hull was blue

I think it was going to Timbuktu."
...

How do you reveal Supermans identity?

You Kent

What is Superchicken's secret identity?

Cluck Kent

^(My eight year old told me he made that up.)

The phone rings...

...and the lady of the house answers.

"Hello."

"May I speak with Mrs. Smith please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Smith, this is Doctor Kent at Metro Labs.

When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, we also received a biopsy from another Mr. Smith as w...

Do you know what the African Superman is called?

*"tongue click"* Kent

What's the difference between spider man and superman?

peter parker can shoot webs. clark kent.

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A woman takes an elevator...

up to a bar.
At the bar she sees a man drinking a beer alone.
The woman walks over to the man and asks him what he’s drinking,
And he responds saying I’m drinking a magic beer.
The woman, a little confused thinks the man is crazy and walks away to talk to other patrons.
After a whil...

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