A Boeing 737 Max flight attendant walks into a bar and orders a martini

. "You're here later than usual," the bartender comments. "Problems at work?" "Yes, just as our flight was about to take off we had to turn around and wait at the gate for an hour." "What was the problem?" the bartender asks. "The pilot was bothered by a noise in the engine," she replies. "It took u...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Boeing 777 was flying from New York to Paris...

A Boeing 777 was flying from New York to Paris when it encountered some heavy turbulence over the Atlantic. The captain has a decade of flying under his belt and manages to get through the turbulence without any major incidents.

He then switches on the intercom and says, “This is your captai...

Yo momma's so fat, she's like a Boeing 737 Max 8.

At the slightest sign of trouble, she throws herself at the ground screaming, killing all 300 people riding her.

United Airlines Boeing 777-200 Engine #2

Edit: Well this blew up.

(Thankful for no injuries)

What is grey and hurts if it flies in your eye?

A Boeing F/A-18E/F Super Hornet

What sound does an airplane make when it bounces?

Boeing... Boeing

In light of the multiple recent crashes of its airplanes, Boeing announced a revolutionary new aircraft design made out of rubber.

Now, it won't crash. It'll just go, Boeing Boeing Boeing.

I don’t know why all these countries are ordering to ground the Boeing 737 max

They literally ground themselves

What's a Boeing employee's favorite time of day?

7:47

I went to a Boeing assembly factory, it was pretty big

It was basically all open planes.

Saw a Cop walking around wearing a Boeing Jacket and a hat that said Gulfstream

Turns out he was a Planeclothes Officer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Up in the air

A Boeing 777 wide-body jetliner was lumbering along at 800km/hour at 33000 feet when a cocky F-16 fighter jet flashed by at Mach 2.

The F-16 pilot decided to show off.

On his state of the art radio that is part of his state of the art 3D and million dollar headset, the F-16 youngster...

The FAA is reviewing the Boeing 737 Max...

... they might throw it under the Airbus.

A plane malfunctioned and went for a nosedive mid-flight, but it just bounced after touching the ground.

Boeing.

I don’t find airplane jokes funny.

To me they’re just really boeing.

Apparently people don't like pictures of a Boeing 737

Maybe it's just too plain

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde joke

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."...

Why can a 747 never crash?

When it hits the ground it goes 'boeing'

Do you know what sound two 747’s make when the collide mid air?

Boeing!

If a joke's over your head it's a "whoosh". But if a joke crashes and dies horribly,

That's a "Boeing".

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Earl was an airplane pilot with many years of experience.

Now Earl always had a dream: to try to do a loop-de-loop with a Boeing 747.
So on his last flight before his retirement, he told the passengers
"Hello, this is your captain Earl speaking. For many years, I wanted to try to do a loop-de-loop with a plane, and today is my last flight before re...

Me and my friend had a talk about planes.

It was plain Boeing.

What’s your favorite submersible?

Mine’s the Boeing 737 Max 8

Two planes jump in a trampoline

Boeing

If a plane tries to land but can't deploy its wheels, what sound does it make when it bounces off the ground?

Boeing

A blonde gets on an airplane to fly back home

As she enters the plane, she begins jumping up and down, all the way to her seat.

The flight attendant notices this, concerned for the blondes mental state, notifies the captain of her actions.

The captain walks down to the blonde, who’s now bouncing in her seat. He asks the blonde “w...

A kid boards a flight for the first time in his life

Kid: What kind of flight is this mom?

Mom: Boeing

Kid: I'm boarding a Boeing, Boeing, Boeing, Boeing

Mom: Be silent you idiot

Kid: I'm oarding an oeing, oeing, oeing, oeing

P.S: Based on a true incident

So a kid gets on a plane for the first time

and he is really excited about it. He is sitting inside the plane mid-flight when he finds out the plane's a Boeing. So he starts saying "Boeing.. Boeing.. Boeing.."

After a while when he doesn't stop the passengers start getting irritated, and the hostess comes along and tells the boy "Be Si...

A man was overly excited to fly for the first time...

As he sat in his seat, he could contain his excitement no longer and began saying "Boeing! Boeing! Boeing!" over and over again.

Irritated, a stewardess comes over to him and says "Be silent!"

The man nods, and continues "Oeing, Oeing, Oeing..."

Air and Space Museum

So a 5 year old boy is walking around in the air and space museum, but he doesn't seem to be having a good time. Naturally, his mom asks him what's bothering him, and he responds: "Mom, it's just too boeing."

What do you call a snake who makes a living building passenger airplanes?

A Boeing constructor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four guys are in a bar bragging about their kids when one goes to piss..

First guy says, "my son is in real estate and is so successful he just gave a guy a house". Next one says, "my boy is at Ferrari and just gave his friend a car". Third guy says, "oh yeah? My son is in charge of Boeing and just gave his friend a jet"! The fourth guy returns and they ask what his son ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What plane was used by the Navy to draw the dick in the sky?

A Boeing.

What do you get when you cross a snake with a plane?

A boeing constrictor

Just got off a 20 hour flight

It was really Boeing

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.