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Boeing Jokes

A Boeing 737 Max flight attendant walks into a bar and orders a martini

. "You're here later than usual," the bartender comments. "Problems at work?" "Yes, just as our flight was about to take off we had to turn around and wait at the gate for an hour." "What was the problem?" the bartender asks. "The pilot was bothered by a noise in the engine," she replies. "It took u...

I need a few brief jokes to tell to a group of elderly people. The punchlines need to be easily understood, and they need to be clean and not making fun of anyone with any kind of disability. Have any brief and fairly original jokes?

This one is good, although I’ll probably have to emphasize the ‘mispronouncing words’ part, and instead of blonde, the dummy will be me:

*A blonde is flying in a Boeing for the first time. She starts jumping on her seat shouting "Boeing Boeing Boeing".
The pilot, clearly annoyed by this, w...

New Boeing airliner

Some travelers were concerned with the latest plane, with larger windows, but no shades on them; one lady was concerned that the lavatories now had windows, but was worried that someone on the outside would be able to see in. The stewardess told her: 'Madam; if some pervert is hanging onto the side...

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A Boeing 777 was flying from New York to Paris...

A Boeing 777 was flying from New York to Paris when it encountered some heavy turbulence over the Atlantic. The captain has a decade of flying under his belt and manages to get through the turbulence without any major incidents.

He then switches on the intercom and says, “This is your captai...

What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?

boeing boeing boeing

The war in Afghanistan ended after 20 years, who won?

Raytheon, General Dynamics, Northrop Grumman, Boeing and Lockheed Martin

I don’t know why all these countries are ordering to ground the Boeing 737 max

They literally ground themselves

Why can a 747 never crash?

When it hits the ground it goes 'boeing'

United Airlines Boeing 777-200 Engine #2

Edit: Well this blew up.

(Thankful for no injuries)

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A blonde joke

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."...

Yo momma's so fat, she's like a Boeing 737 Max 8.

At the slightest sign of trouble, she throws herself at the ground screaming, killing all 300 people riding her.

What's a Boeing employee's favorite time of day?

7:47

The FAA is reviewing the Boeing 737 Max...

... they might throw it under the Airbus.

What's the difference between a boat and Boeing?

No sails.

I went to a Boeing assembly factory, it was pretty big

It was basically all open planes.

Saw a Cop walking around wearing a Boeing Jacket and a hat that said Gulfstream

Turns out he was a Planeclothes Officer

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Up in the air

A Boeing 777 wide-body jetliner was lumbering along at 800km/hour at 33000 feet when a cocky F-16 fighter jet flashed by at Mach 2.

The F-16 pilot decided to show off.

On his state of the art radio that is part of his state of the art 3D and million dollar headset, the F-16 youngster...

I could tell plane jokes but,

They are so overused. Its a very boeing joke. *Yawns*

In light of the multiple recent crashes of its airplanes, Boeing announced a revolutionary new aircraft design made out of rubber.

Now, it won't crash. It'll just go, Boeing Boeing Boeing.

Did you hear about the plane that crashed into the trampoline factory?

Witnesses heard a loud Boeing!

If a joke's over your head it's a "whoosh". But if a joke crashes and dies horribly,

That's a "Boeing".

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Apparently people don't like pictures of a Boeing 737

Maybe it's just too plain

A kid boards a flight for the first time in his life

Kid: What kind of flight is this mom?

Mom: Boeing

Kid: I'm boarding a Boeing, Boeing, Boeing, Boeing

Mom: Be silent you idiot

Kid: I'm oarding an oeing, oeing, oeing, oeing

P.S: Based on a true incident

What is grey and hurts if it flies in your eye?

A Boeing F/A-18E/F Super Hornet

Two explorers take a flight to one of the yet unexplored parts of the South American rainforests.

They enter the thicket but quickly get lost. After walking for many hours, without food at water, they finally spot a native inhabitant of one of the forests tribes. They quickly shout and make wild gestures until he notices them. After they slowly approach him, one of the explorers asks: “You nativ...

What do you call a snake who makes a living building passenger airplanes?

A Boeing constructor.

A plane malfunctioned and went for a nosedive mid-flight, but it just bounced after touching the ground.

Boeing.

I don’t find airplane jokes funny.

To me they’re just really boeing.

If a plane tries to land but can't deploy its wheels, what sound does it make when it bounces off the ground?

Boeing

So a kid gets on a plane for the first time

and he is really excited about it. He is sitting inside the plane mid-flight when he finds out the plane's a Boeing. So he starts saying "Boeing.. Boeing.. Boeing.."

After a while when he doesn't stop the passengers start getting irritated, and the hostess comes along and tells the boy "Be Si...

Do you know what sound two 747’s make when the collide mid air?

Boeing!

Me and my friend had a talk about planes.

It was plain Boeing.

Two planes jump in a trampoline

Boeing

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Earl was an airplane pilot with many years of experience.

Now Earl always had a dream: to try to do a loop-de-loop with a Boeing 747.
So on his last flight before his retirement, he told the passengers
"Hello, this is your captain Earl speaking. For many years, I wanted to try to do a loop-de-loop with a plane, and today is my last flight before re...

What’s your favorite submersible?

Mine’s the Boeing 737 Max 8

What do you get when you cross a snake with a plane?

A boeing constrictor

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What plane was used by the Navy to draw the dick in the sky?

A Boeing.

Just got off a 20 hour flight

It was really Boeing

Air and Space Museum

So a 5 year old boy is walking around in the air and space museum, but he doesn't seem to be having a good time. Naturally, his mom asks him what's bothering him, and he responds: "Mom, it's just too boeing."

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Four guys are in a bar bragging about their kids when one goes to piss..

First guy says, "my son is in real estate and is so successful he just gave a guy a house". Next one says, "my boy is at Ferrari and just gave his friend a car". Third guy says, "oh yeah? My son is in charge of Boeing and just gave his friend a jet"! The fourth guy returns and they ask what his son ...

An Oil Baron wanted to do something for his three sons

A farmer from Oklahoma struck oil on his gigantic farm and thus became an oil baron. After amassing a Hugh fortune he decided he wanted to do something special for each of his sons.

He asked his oldest son, what he would like. The oldest son thought for a bit and said “ Im interested in airpl...

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doping olympics [translated from an old Russian anecdote, 2007]

Good day! We are reporting live from our special Olympics. At our Olympics there's no doping control at all. Yes, you heard it right, sportsmen are NOT tested for doping. Absolutely. So...


- Finnish sportsman has jumped 27 meters. A very good result indeed for a chess player.

- 13 ...

A blonde gets on an airplane to fly back home

As she enters the plane, she begins jumping up and down, all the way to her seat.

The flight attendant notices this, concerned for the blondes mental state, notifies the captain of her actions.

The captain walks down to the blonde, who’s now bouncing in her seat. He asks the blonde “w...

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