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Flamingo Jokes

My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo...

I had to put my foot down

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?

Because if it lifted up two, it would fall over

Scientists have discovered why flamingos stand on one leg

Removed cause Reddit doesn't care about their users. (API Changes)

I don't mind following rules at work, but when my boss told me to stop impersonating flamingos...

I had to put my foot down.

How do you make a Flamingo



Set fire to an O

So this guy at college keeps calling me a flamingo

one of these days I'm going to put my foot down.

Do you know why flamingos always lift one leg while standing?

Because if they lifted both legs they'd fall over.

Any glue experts who can help me?

I needed to attach a velvet Elvis painting to a pink flamingo lawn ornament, so I grabbed a bottle of contact cement. The instructions said to apply to both surfaces and wait until they’re no longer tacky before putting them together. That was 6 months ago, and they’re still tacky. How much longer d...

I keep on getting peer pressured into playing the flamingo game

But I'm not going to play anymore. Im putting my foot down

21 One-Liners

1. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant.



4. Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.

5. I ...

A dead flamingo...

would be called a flaminstop

What do pink flamingos have on their front lawns?

Plastic Italians.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I walked into kindergarten on my first day of school...

I was worried, but nonetheless excited to learn. We began by learning about animals. My teacher asked students what their favorite animal was and when it was my turn I said “Pink Flamingo”

The teacher began screaming and sent me to the principals office. “Why are you here son”, he asked. I to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here's a collection of the best/worst dad jokes I know.

"When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down."

"Why are skeletons always so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"Why can't T rexes clap their hands...

What do you call a flamingo at a red light?

A flaminstop.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A flamingo, a duck, and a lawyer...

Q: What can a flamingo do that a duck can't that a lawyer should?

A: Stick its bill up its ass.

What birds make the best accountants?

Flamingos. They're real good at balancing.

I pulled an all-nighter watching a flamingo sleep...

It was outstanding all night.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

FACE DOWN ASS UP. THAT'S THE WAY...

Flamingos hangout sometimes, not really sure why.

A couple are on the brink of an argument

Finally, at her wits end, the girlfriend shouts in an exasperated voice "Can you stop being a flamingo for one goddamn second?"

He had to put his foot down.

I wore a pink t-shirt out the other night and my girlfriend said I looked like a Flamingo..

So I had to put my foot down.

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