Do you know why flamingos lift up one leg when sleeping?

Because if they lifted both legs they'd fall

So I like to stand on one leg sometime, like a flamingo, to help with building my balance...

My girlfriend always rolls her eyes at me and the other day she snapped and yelled at me to stop.

I said, “This is my house, don’t make me put my foot down..”

My wife kept telling me to stop doing a flamingo impression...

In the end I had to put my foot down

My girlfriend told me I had to stop impersonating a flamingo

That's when I really had to put my foot down.

Yesterday, my wife finally told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.

Reluctantly, I had to put my foot down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here's a collection of the best/worst dad jokes I know.

"When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down."

"Why are skeletons always so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"Why can't T rexes clap their hands...

The pink, plastic birds that are popular lawn ornaments in Florida.....

are they called, "Placebo Flamingos"?

What do you call a flamingo at a red light?

A flaminstop.

What do pink flamingos have on their front lawns?

Plastic Italians.

21 One-Liners

1. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant.



4. Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.

5. I ...

I keep on getting peer pressured into playing the flamingo game

But I'm not going to play anymore. Im putting my foot down

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A flamingo, a duck, and a lawyer...

Q: What can a flamingo do that a duck can't that a lawyer should?

A: Stick its bill up its ass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I walked into kindergarten on my first day of school...

I was worried, but nonetheless excited to learn. We began by learning about animals. My teacher asked students what their favorite animal was and when it was my turn I said “Pink Flamingo”

The teacher began screaming and sent me to the principals office. “Why are you here son”, he asked. I to...

So this guy at college keeps calling me a flamingo

one of these days I'm going to put my foot down.

A dead flamingo...

would be called a flaminstop

I pulled an all-nighter watching a flamingo sleep...

It was outstanding all night.

I wore a pink t-shirt out the other night and my girlfriend said I looked like a Flamingo..

So I had to put my foot down.

A couple are on the brink of an argument

Finally, at her wits end, the girlfriend shouts in an exasperated voice "Can you stop being a flamingo for one goddamn second?"

He had to put his foot down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

FACE DOWN ASS UP. THAT'S THE WAY...

Flamingos hangout sometimes, not really sure why.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.