UPJOKE
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When my wife told me she'd leave me if I didn't stop acting like a flamingo,

I had to put my foot down.

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?

Because if it lifted up both it would fall over

Any glue experts who can help me?

I needed to attach a velvet Elvis painting to a pink flamingo lawn ornament, so I grabbed a bottle of contact cement. The instructions said to apply to both surfaces and wait until they’re no longer tacky before putting them together. That was 6 months ago, and they’re still tacky. How much longer d...

How do you make a Flamingo



Set fire to an O

Do you know why flamingos stand on one leg?

Because if they raise the other leg too, they fall

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here's a collection of the best/worst dad jokes I know.

"When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down."

"Why are skeletons always so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"Why can't T rexes clap their hands...

What do pink flamingos have on their front lawns?

Plastic Italians.

21 One-Liners

1. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant.



4. Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.

5. I ...

I keep on getting peer pressured into playing the flamingo game

But I'm not going to play anymore. Im putting my foot down

What do you call a flamingo at a red light?

A flaminstop.

The pink, plastic birds that are popular lawn ornaments in Florida.....

are they called, "Placebo Flamingos"?

So this guy at college keeps calling me a flamingo

one of these days I'm going to put my foot down.

A dead flamingo...

would be called a flaminstop

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A flamingo, a duck, and a lawyer...

Q: What can a flamingo do that a duck can't that a lawyer should?

A: Stick its bill up its ass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I walked into kindergarten on my first day of school...

I was worried, but nonetheless excited to learn. We began by learning about animals. My teacher asked students what their favorite animal was and when it was my turn I said “Pink Flamingo”

The teacher began screaming and sent me to the principals office. “Why are you here son”, he asked. I to...

I pulled an all-nighter watching a flamingo sleep...

It was outstanding all night.

I wore a pink t-shirt out the other night and my girlfriend said I looked like a Flamingo..

So I had to put my foot down.

A couple are on the brink of an argument

Finally, at her wits end, the girlfriend shouts in an exasperated voice "Can you stop being a flamingo for one goddamn second?"

He had to put his foot down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

FACE DOWN ASS UP. THAT'S THE WAY...

Flamingos hangout sometimes, not really sure why.

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