UPJOKE
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What do you get when you mix American Literature and alcohol?

Tequila Mockingbird

What do you call 2,000 mockingbirds?

2 kilomockingbirds.

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop....

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and ...

What do you call a fat mockingbird?

two kilo mocking bird

What do you call a mockingbird that weighs 2,000 grams?

2 kilo mockingbird

I just finished 'To Kill A Mockingbird'.

1/10 Worst guide ever.

What would Harper Lee do if she had to make a bird laugh?

Tickle a mockingbird.

My aunt's parrot can say over 30 phrases, but each one is offensive and belittling.

I say parrot, it's actually more of a mockingbird.

What's a Mexican's favourite book?

Tequila Mockingbird

Did you guys hear about the sequel of "To Kill a Mockingbird"? It's called...

"The Murder of Crows"

What do you call 2000 mockingbirds?

Two kilomockingbirds

(credit goes to my old physics book)

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a bottle of champagne. "What are you celebrating?" the bartender asks. "I just got my first novel published," the guy announces. "It's a thriller about a flock of 2,000 mockingbirds." "What's it called?" "2 kilomockingbirds," the guy replies.

My local off-licence has started hosting a book club.

First up is Tequila Mockingbird.

More people would read books if publishers just added the phrase "In My Pants" to the end of every title.

War of the Worlds in My Pants

The Two Towers in My Pants

Great Expectations in My Pants

To Kill a Mockingbird in My Pants

Rising Strong in My Pants

There's a new book about a bird that gets drunk.

It's called **Tequila Mockingbird**.

A reporter goes to see an inventor who claims to have invented a machine that can answer any question

The reporter is asked to speak his question into the microphone and the machine will answer it with 100% accuracy.

Sceptical but curious the reporter starts easy, "Where is my mother?"

The machine bleeps and buzzes and then announces "Your mother is at her book club, they have just rev...

Statistician and bomb.

Found this on Raymond Smullyan's book "To Mock a Mockingbird". Hope you might like it.


There is the story of
a statistician who told a friend that he never took airplanes: "I
have computed the probability that there will be a bomb on
the plane," he explained, "and although this p...

What type of mixed drink is great for alcoholic readers?

Tequila Mockingbird

What’s a Mexican drinking worm’s favorite book?

Tequila Mockingbird

In high school I knew we had an alcoholic Mexican English teacher

When she had us read Tequila Mockingbird

What's an author's favorite drink?

Tequila Mockingbird.
(Yes I know it's horrible :P)

What happens when you cross alcoholism and books of literary merit?

Tequila Mockingbird

What is black, white, and gray, has feathers, and weighs almost four and a half pounds?

Two-kilo mockingbird.

Useful Metric Equivalents

* 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
* 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
* 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
* 52 = 1 decacards
* 1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
* 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
* 435.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
* 10 rations = 1 decoration
* 10 m...

What was Pablo Escobar's favorite book?

Two kilo mockingbird.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

What's a Mexican's favourite novel?

Tequila Mockingbird.


(I'm sure this joke has been made before, but I thought it up this morning.)

Harper Lee made her own alcohol several decades ago, researchers found out it's called

Tequila Mockingbird.

what do you call a bookstore that's also a bar?

tequila mockingbird

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A son tells his dad,

"Dad! There's a mockingbird on the roof."
"How do you know it's a mockingbird?" The Dad asks.
The son responds, "Because it said 'Look at me I'm a dumb 40 year old living in my parents basement'"

What do you call 2000 of Harper E. Lee's favorite birds?

Two kilo-mockingbirds

What do you call a bird that drunkenly conveys a compelling perspective on racial hatred?

Tequila Mockingbird.

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