What do you call 2000 mockingbirds?

2 kilomockingbirds

What do you call a fat mockingbird?

two kilo mocking bird

What do you call a mockingbird cooked in alcohol.

Tequila Mockingbird

More people would read books if publishers just added the phrase "In My Pants" to the end of every title.

War of the Worlds in My Pants

The Two Towers in My Pants

Great Expectations in My Pants

To Kill a Mockingbird in My Pants

Rising Strong in My Pants

I just finished 'To Kill A Mockingbird'.

1/10 Worst guide ever.

What’s a Mexican drinking worm’s favorite book?

Tequila Mockingbird

What do you call a mockingbird that weighs 2,000 grams?

2 kilo mockingbird

What do you call 2000 mockingbirds?

Two kilomockingbirds

(credit goes to my old physics book)

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop...

to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. H...

Did you guys hear about the sequel of "To Kill a Mockingbird"? It's called...

"The Murder of Crows"

In high school I knew we had an alcoholic Mexican English teacher

When she had us read Tequila Mockingbird

What do you get when you cross Mexico with an anti-racism book?

Tequila Mockingbird.

What happens when you cross alcoholism and books of literary merit?

Tequila Mockingbird

What is black, white, and gray, has feathers, and weighs almost four and a half pounds?

Two-kilo mockingbird.

Harper Lee made her own alcohol several decades ago, researchers found out it's called

Tequila Mockingbird.

What's a Mexican's favourite novel?

Tequila Mockingbird.


(I'm sure this joke has been made before, but I thought it up this morning.)

Statistician and bomb.

Found this on Raymond Smullyan's book "To Mock a Mockingbird". Hope you might like it.


There is the story of
a statistician who told a friend that he never took airplanes: "I
have computed the probability that there will be a bomb on
the plane," he explained, "and although this p...

What was Pablo Escobar's favorite book?

Two kilo mockingbird.

Useful Metric Equivalents

* 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
* 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
* 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
* 52 = 1 decacards
* 1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
* 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
* 435.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
* 10 rations = 1 decoration
* 10 m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A son tells his dad,

"Dad! There's a mockingbird on the roof."
"How do you know it's a mockingbird?" The Dad asks.
The son responds, "Because it said 'Look at me I'm a dumb 40 year old living in my parents basement'"

What do you call 2000 of Harper E. Lee's favorite birds?

Two kilo-mockingbirds

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

what do you call a bookstore that's also a bar?

tequila mockingbird

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A verse of unit puns

The Units Verse
by Kevin Ahern

Two thousand pounds of Chinese soup
Will make a restaurant run

In Beijing, China order it
In units of Won ton


Religious leaders measure clout
From Nome to Amsterdam

By how much clout they have with God
The units - billi-gr...

What do you call a bird that drunkenly conveys a compelling perspective on racial hatred?

Tequila Mockingbird.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.