UPJOKE
tearhookrendpullliftrivesplitscreamrollruptureprofligaterentriptideroueblood

Ripping Jokes

I think my local garage is ripping me off...

does anyone else think £500 for a Tesla exhaust is a lot?

What's the worst part of ripping your favorite shirt?

Having to choose between .MP3 and .FLAC

I hate this new king, my landlord is ripping me to starvation and i might freeze this winter.

Gildford from 13 th century

When I get get home I’m ripping my wife’s panties off

They’re starting to chafe

A lawyer was opening the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and struck the door, ripping it completely off the hinges.

When police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.


"Officer, look what they've done to my car!" he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, it's incredible!" retorted the officer, "You're so concerned about your stupid...

I don't get why people are ripping on Trump for not being tested for the coronavirus.

Let's be honest here, even that thing wouldn't voluntarily touch him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy turns to his colleague and says "man...this minute I get home, I'm ripping my wife's panties off". The colleague asks "why...you really horny?"

And the guy replies "no...the elastic band in them is too tight and its killing me."

After a long day’s work, I came home and saw my kid ripping off the front and back pages of my dictionary.

Things just went from Bad to Worse.

I couldn't quit ripping my jeans cold turkey...

...so I'm on the patch now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I came home one day to my wife ripping pages out of "Moby Dick" in the living room. "Why are you doing that?" I asked.

She replied, "Well, to make a long story short."

I told a joke about ripping up some paper

It was tear-ible

I'm really sorry!

What’s the difference between a golfer and an escort?

The golfer doesn’t worry about his glove ripping when he scores.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.