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A big city lawyer is tired of the hustle and bustle so decides to buy a ranch in the middle of nowhere

On the ranch, weeks go by without the lawyer seeing a soul. Finally a lone cowboy comes riding up to the place. The two men talk for a while and the cowboy invites the lawyer to a party at his place.

The lawyer asks, "What kind of party is it?" The cowboy replies, "Well, there's going to be a...

What is a wind turbine’s side hustle?

OnlyFans

I was at a party last weekend

The DJ played the Macarena, so I did the Macarena

Next, he played the Hustle, so I did the Hustle

Finally, he played "Come on, Eileen". I got kicked out for that one.

If anyone says you have to work 365 days in 2020 in order to succeed, they don’t have your best interests in mind and is preaching toxic hustle culture

You need to work 366 days cause it’s a leap year

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A stockbroker walks past a kid selling lemonade

“Hey mister, ya want some lemonade?”

The stockbroker is just getting out of his brand new BMW in a nice tailored suit. He was about to walk past when he a double take at the sign that says “Lemonade $50”.


“Your sign is wrong kid. I think you mean fifty cents.”

The little gi...

A man feels burnt out by his busy city life, and decides to vacation as far away as possible from the hustle and bustle.

He finds himself in a cozy cabin just outside of a small, remote Alaskan town. For a few days he marvels at the serenity of the forest. He fishes, he hikes, he naps blissfully while listening to the trees sway. But by the middle of the week, he begins to get bored, and goes to town.

Checking...

What's a tooth fairy's side hustle?

Prostitooth

How to weigh a pig

A farmer is out in the field with his client, who is there to buy a pig, as they are walking along the client asks him, "how much does this pig weigh?"

The farmer pulls the pig out, puts his tail in his mouth and says, "she's 245 pounds easy."

Astonished, the client thinks he's being f...

Beyonce was just telling me the best way to source product for my new pillow-making side-hustle. I was very surprised when she suggested punching a duck in the face.

I replied - I didn't know you could get down like that.

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Jesus and Moses go Fishing

Jesus and Moses are sitting by a riverbank, fishing, and shooting the shit about the good ol' days.

Moses says, "I had a few great days, but I have to say, that day I parted the Red Sea was the best of them. Man, that was spectacular! You should have seen the look on everyone's faces." ...

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A man is sitting at a bar...

He has been there for three hours just nursing a beer with a shit eating grin on his face. The bartender (after noticing this man has purchased nothing more) walks up to him and says "Dude. You've been here forever with that warm beer, and that dumb smile. What the hell are you so happy about?" ...

My side hustle (building model boats in my attic) is going so well that...

I might have to move to new premises.

Sales are through the roof.

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The wrestling match was about to begin...

...and the Contender's coach was once again lecturing the Contender.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times-don't let the Champion get you in The Pretzel! No one has ever been able to get out of The Pretzel!"

The Contender nodded his head, getting ready for the match. "...

What's it called when a crab is walking to it's part time job?

A side hustle.

Chopper.

The Chief of Staff of the US Air Force decided to personally recruit some pilots and he saw two young twins.

He looked at the first young man and asked: "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"

The young man looks at him and says: "I'm a pilot!"

The General gets all ex...

A wife's husband and her lover end up at the same backyard party.

They are actually talking to each other, though somewhat unacquainted. The wife wants to somehow interject and separate the two.

"Honey, do you want a beer?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

She hustles off. flustered and embarrassed at **both** of them responding.

The husband looks...

I got kicked out of a bar last night...

It was a goofy place, they had a “classic music” dance contest. I was the clear winner. They played “The Hustle” so I did The Hustle. They played “The Twist” so I did the twist.

But then they played “Come On Eileen”

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The business man who moved to [nsfw]

A high powered business man moved to the mountains to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life.

For months the only person he saw was the man who delivers his mail.

After 8 months there came a strange knock on the door, when he opens the door, there stood a giant man with a hu...

Trump is doing a meet-and-greet at a crowded venue

and his security detail is being extra watchful. One of them is a new guy and he’s extra jumpy.
Suddenly, a gunman bursts from the crowd, aiming his weapon at the President. Pandemonium ensues. The rookie bodyguard screams “Mickey Mouse!!!” at the top of his voice and this startles the would be a...

On the first day of preschool, kids are taught how to play Simon Says

After you graduate high school and get a job, you find out your boss is Simon and you got duped into going to school for 10 years when you learned all you had to know on your first day of preschool.

Frustrated, you go back to your high school teacher to learn something useful for once, "Teach...

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Mountain Man

Well Tom was a high powered business man and successful stock market trader, but he sure was fed up with life in the fast lane of New York City. Fed up with the hustle and the bustle. Fed up with the fickle market. But one night, sipping scotch, he realized that the root of all his problems was PEOP...

Four strangers find themselves chatting on a bus ride away from New York City

They talk for a while about who they are and why they’re leaving the city. There’s a loud and charming man looking for a new start away from the big city, a contortionist tired of all the hustle and bustle, a quiet girl who gave no explanation on her past, and a woman pregnant with triplets trying t...

"I don't understand." The man said...

"They played 'Do the Hustle'. I did the Hustle...

They played 'Paint It Black'. I did that too...

They played 'Come On Eileen'. Now I'm here with you."

"I see," said the lawyer.

Sean Bean is walking down the street

Heard you guys like long OC.

 

Sean Bean is walking down the street, enjoying his Sunday night. Suddenly, a black paneled van pulls up next to him. Four massive dudes in ski masks wearing all black leap out and try to grab him. Sean remembers his GoT training and manages to ta...

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A sailor is discharged from the Navy...

...and he's so happy to see his girlfriend, and so horny, that he hustles her behind a building, lifts her skirt, and proceeds to give her a knee-trembler right there at the pier.

As they were driving home, the satisfied sailor says, "Wow, that was great. And I know you liked it too, I saw yo...

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Rich old man prepares for his death

A rich old man was on his deathbed. He knew he was soon to depart this world, but he could not bear the thought of leaving his wealth behind.

So he summoned his wife and instructed her to visit the bank, withdraw a large amount of cash, and stash it in the attic in a burlap sack. "I'll just g...

A clockmaker retires and moves to a small village

Not having much to do, he opens a small shop mostly just to have a place to keep all of his favorite clocks that he's collected over the years. Not needing to hustle any more, he spends most of his day gazing out his shop window watching people go by.

Every morning he sees a man stop, stare ...

My friends told me I needed to loosen up....

so we went to a club and had a few drinks, after the 5th one I was ready dance.

So I went to the dance floor and then "The Twist" began to play, and I did The Twist.

Then "The Hustle" began to play, and I did The Hustle

Then "Come on Eileen" played and I got banned from the club...

John grew up on a farm

John grew up on a farm in a small town away from the hustle and bustle of the city. His whole life he has been a huge fan of tractors, his curtains and carpets had tractor patterns on, there were posters of John Deere's covering his walls, he even had his parents buy him a waffle maker that makes wa...

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A man moves out to the country....

City Joe moves out to the country to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life. After purchasing some ranch land he surveys the area from his front porch. Up his driveway rumbles an old pick up truck. Out steps a middle aged man in a cowboy hat and wranglers.

"howdy", he says, "ya see ...

When I was in college I agreed to go out dancing at a club with some pals for my friend Eileen's birthday...

I don't really like to dance, so they had to twist my arm a bit, but when I got there I started to have a lot of fun.

They played "The Twist" and I did the twist!

They played "The Hustle" and I did the hustle!

Then they played "Come On Eileen"...

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In honor of the papal visit, I submit the worst, longest, most tortuous pope joke I know.

It's 1969.

China and the Soviet Union are on the brink of open hostilities. The war would kill us all. And only the pope can save the day.

Well, so thinks Richard Nixon.

See, he'd been up all night watching *The Shoes of the Fisherman*, and it was such a harrowing vision that he...

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The Salesman

So a traveling salesman is walking through a decent neighborhood trying to sell what he can. He walks up to this house to see an old couple with a shocking twist. She is yanking on her tit while he is jacking off. The salesman's first reaction is: "NOPE" and hustles on to their neighbors. He knocks,...

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