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Tucker Jokes

Apparently Tucker Carlson is starting a new band

Rage sponsored by the machine

A man named Tucker, dies and goes to hell

There, a demon takes Tucker to a hallway with three doors. The demon says (in a deep demonic voice) “You must choose one room, where you will spend the next thousand years!”

The demon opens the first door. Inside there is a man in a pit of fire, screaming in agony. Tucker says “Nooo no no! De...

My Name is Tucker

There were three brothers who moved to a town. They all saw this beautiful girl and decided that they would each take her on a date and that she would pick whichever one she liked the most.

The first one went to her house and her father answered the door. The young man said,” Hello my name i...

Karen: Wait for me honey, I’m just finishing my make-up.

Tucker: You don’t need make-up, Karen.

Karen: Oh, Tucker…. really? That is so sweet of you!

Tucker: You need plastic surgery.

Caitlyn Jenner is going to be working on Fox News.

Now they’ll have two tuckers.

How did the Christian support group warn Chris Tucker about the hazardous weather conditions as he drove to the 'Die Hard' costume party?

'Slippy Highway, Brother Tucker'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a school where every morning...

... when the teachers entered the classrooms, at 8:00 sharp, they would say "Good morning! " and all the kids, in one voice answered "GOOD MORNING!".

Next to the school was a retirement home and the school's morning routine started to annoy the residents. Few old people got together, went to ...

Entered a drag competition.

Receptionist: Name please?

Me: Amanda Tucker.

Every night my sweet wife tucks our kids into bed.

She is a mother tucker.

A Farmer and His Daughter's Boyfriends

A farmer insists on vetting his daughters' boyfriends before they're allowed out on dates. One night, a young man appears at the front door, and says to the farmer, "Hello, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?" and the farmer lets them go. A second young man comes ...

The three dates.

A farmer wants to meet his daughters boyfriend before their date a few minutes later the doorbell rings the boy at the door says my name is Joe I'm here for Flo we are going to the show is she ready to go, later the door rings again and another boy says my name is Eddie I'm here for Betty we are goi...

There was once an old farmer whose only virtue was 3 beautiful daughters.

One night, they were all going out on dates with their respective beaus. There came a knock at the door, and he answered.

“Hi!” said the young man standing there. “My name’s Joe. I’m here to pick up Flo. we’re going to the show. Is she ready to go?” “Yes, I’ll go and get her” said the farmer....

Tried to increase the "black noise reduction" on my PS3

But Chris Tucker is still yelling at me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer with one cow lives in a tiny farm with his wife, and three sons.

One morning he stepped outside to milk the cow, only to find it stiff and unmistakenably dead in its meadow. The farmer drops down in despair.

'How am I supposed to support my family without our only source of income?', he exclaims. In utter disbelief he walks to the shed, grabs his shotgun, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Science-Minded Deviant

There's this scientist that loves dolphins. He loves dolphins so much, he wants to figure out a way to make them live forever. For years he slaves away in his basement laboratory, and he believes that he has found a compound that when given to dolphins, will make them live forever. The only probl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young Jimmy got mixed in with a bad crowd and found himself headed to jail. Being his first time, he was a little intimidated by the things he’d heard, so he was looking for some advice.

His uncle was a colorful fellow and a world traveler, and Jimmy figured he probably knew his way out of a dangerous situation better than anyone else he knew. After Jimmy explained his predicament, the uncle said:

“Yeah, I reckon I have some advice. Some years ago I was overseas riding throu...

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