UPJOKE
obligationresponsibledutyrequirementblamechargeirresponsibleprovinceliabilityfaultjobburdenauthorityinvolvementleadership

scarlet johansson

There’s an airline crash in the Pacific. The only two survivors are a young man, Steve, and an unconscious young woman.

Steve finds the young woman clinging to a piece of debris. He tows her to a small, deserted atoll.

The young woman does not regain consciousness for a week. In the me...

I've never been really good at owning up to my actions and responsibilities

Can't believe my parents raised me this way.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cain, son of Adam, had a shit load of responsibilities.

Aside from being a farmer Cain was supposed to murder his brother and do a whole slew of other shit so that future generations could learn from his mistakes. The lord felt pity for Cain’s workload and assigned another human to shoulder some of the load. He called him co-cain. Co-cain helped him get ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you say "fuck it" and ditch all your responsibilities because it's too fucking cold, and go somewhere warm?

Going for a Cruz.

I saw an Egyptian not accepting his responsibilities

He was in de-Nile to say the least

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Mom: Wake up, son. It's time to go to school

Son: But why? Everyone in the school hates me


Mom: Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school


Son: Give me two good reasons why I should go to school?


MOM : One, you should understand your responsibilities.
Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school...

My wife was gleefully telling me about how the cost to replace her many responsibilities is $100k/year

Boy you should have seen her face though when I sent her an invoice for replacing the shower head.

A newly hired operations manager spends a week with the outgoing operations manager in order to learn his new duties and responsibilities.

As the outgoing manager gets ready to leave for good, he tells the new manager that he has placed three numbered envelopes in the top drawer of the desk. He tells the new manager that each time he runs into a crisis that he cannot solve to open an envelope, starting with the first one, and follow th...

Some person starts working at a bakery.

(not my joke)

His first day is Monday. Upon entering, he hears that today is doughnut day. He dances with joy, and starts baking doughnuts like a madman. The manager tastes the doughnuts, and they are the best of the best doughnuts you would have ever tasted. His enthusiasm lasts for the enti...

What do you call a bird with no responsibilities?

A millennial falcon

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New Job!!

A young guy living in Boston recently became unemployed and he immediately went to the nearest job center where he noticed a flyer pinned to the job board seeking a "Gynecologist's Assistant to work at a newly-built 'Soothing Approach Gynecology Center', no experience required".
He was very inter...

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