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Responsibility Jokes

Duty and Responsibility

The CEO of a large company used to take pride in HR development of his subordinates.

One day he was speaking to his management team on sense of responsibility.

He posed a question- "Tell me, sleeping with my wife is my duty or responsibility.?"

Pin drop silence...

After f...

Floors take on so much responsibility...

It's like everything falls to them.

I'm A Security Guard And My Boss Told Me It Was My Responsibility To Watch The Office Every Night

Already up to season 4 and have no idea what it has to do with being a security guard.

As a commercial livestock hauler, my main responsibility is transporting donkeys.

My clients..have their asses handed to them.

I tend to blame other people for my problems rather than taking responsibility.

I think it was the way I was raised.

Wife: “You keep on finding ways to avoid taking responsibility for your wrongdoing.”

Me: “I’m truly sorry that you feel this way.”

I've been a father for three years and it's been a wonderful experience. I've learnt all about responsibility.

But my son just keeps moaning "it's too late now" and "I'm 26 years old".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Great Power and Great Responsibility were having sex.

Both climaxed together.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer gets pulled over by a police officer.

The officer asks the lawyer "Do you know why I pulled you over?"


"I haven't the foggiest idea," said the lawyer.


The officer replied, "You didn't make a full stop at the stop sign back there. You only slowed down."


The lawyer thinks for a few seconds then says, "If y...

I'm not the kind to walk away from responsibility

I run

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two morticians alternated in sharing the responsibility of covering the night shift.

One early morning about 3:00 am, a body was brought into the
mortuary, and the mortician began work. When he had unclothed the corpse,
he noticed a cork in the anus. Removing it, the strains of "Hello, Dolly,
well, hello, Dolly...!" were plainly heard being sung. He put the cork
back, an...

Responsible Bee

What do you call the bee that has to take responsibility for the rest of the bees at the end of the night?



Designated drHiver

Being a Calculator must be a huge responsibility...

everyone is counting on them.

As a father with 50/50 custody of my kids they are still my responsibility 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Don't know about next week.

Islamic state claimed responsibility

for american presidential elections.

I had a lot of responsibility at my last job.

Whenever anything went wrong, my boss told me I was responsible.

As the world is encouraged to practise good hygiene in response to the Corona virus...

...the government gives a poignant demonstration by washing their hands of any responsibility.

"With great power, comes great responsibility"

- - Melania Trump

We've just found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. With that, there comes an enormous amount of responsibility, so I've got a question to ask.

Should I fly first class or second?

I listened to a speech from Trump this morning apologizing for his wrongdoings and taking responsibility...

That was the weirdest dream ever, man.

Queen farts

The Dutch Queen is in an elevator with three diplomats from France, Italy and Spain.

Suddenly, she farts loudly. At first, everyone is confused, but the French representative quickly comes to his senses, comes to her rescue and says: "Oh, I'm so sorry, that was me".

They don't even tra...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Back when Pope John Paul II died, the Vatican College of Cardinals were faced with the responsibility of choosing a new pope for the Catholic Church...

... At first, they favored a British Cardinal by the name of Cardinal Nigel Mason.

Card. Mason had been a pilot in WWII, fighting Germany's Luftwaffe. He was decorated for his service, during which he shot down 12 Nazi fighter planes.

He himself was finally shot down and made a rough l...

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