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Back when Pope John Paul II died, the Vatican College of Cardinals were faced with the responsibility of choosing a new pope for the Catholic Church...

... At first, they favored a British Cardinal by the name of Cardinal Nigel Mason.

Card. Mason had been a pilot in WWII, fighting Germany's Luftwaffe. He was decorated for his service, during which he shot down 12 Nazi fighter planes.

He himself was finally shot down and made a rough l...

Mexicans in the US should bear responsibility for their Spanish flu

ency, which has inspired so many to learn a second language. True MVPs.

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Two morticians alternated in sharing the responsibility of covering the night shift.

One early morning about 3:00 am, a body was brought into the
mortuary, and the mortician began work. When he had unclothed the corpse,
he noticed a cork in the anus. Removing it, the strains of "Hello, Dolly,
well, hello, Dolly...!" were plainly heard being sung. He put the cork
back, an...

Having a son the last eight years has been a learning experience, and has taught me all about responsibility.

"I'm really proud of myself," I told my girlfriend.

"You shouldn't be," she replied. "He's 24."

We've just found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. With that, there comes an enormous amount of responsibility, so I've got a question to ask.

Should I fly first class or second?

I tend to blame other people for my problems rather than taking responsibility.

I think it was the way I was raised.

I listened to a speech from Trump this morning apologizing for his wrongdoings and taking responsibility...

That was the weirdest dream ever, man.

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A girl gets pregnant

So when the father finds out he loses it and tells his daughter to call the father and tell him to come here immediately. After an hour an expensive sports car pulls infront of the house and a well dressed man gets out of the car. As soon as he gets in, he starts talking:

"Okay i know about t...

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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all ot...

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Therapist: It seems like you place the burden of all your failures on others, refusing to take responsibility due to learned helplessness, despite most of your problems being solvable.

Client: Yeah, I get that from my mother.

A Bar opened opposite a Mosque!

The angry congregants of the Mosque prayed daily against the business....

Days later the Bar was struck by lightning and caught fire . The Bar owner sued the Mosque authorities for the cause , as an action by their prayer...

The Mosque denied all responsibility!

So, the judge...

I went to a pet store to buy a bird

The employee asked me, “Are you sure you want a bird? It’s a big responsibility”.

“Yes I’m quite sure” I responded.

The employee sighed and said, “Alright, but if you change your mind, you’ll have to live with that egret for the rest of your life”

Floors take on so much responsibility...

It's like everything falls to them.

As the world is encouraged to practise good hygiene in response to the Corona virus...

...the government gives a poignant demonstration by washing their hands of any responsibility.

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Great Power and Great Responsibility were having sex.

Both climaxed together.

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