Not too sure I got the job....

Interview I had for a job:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Interpreting semantics of a question,
but ignoring the pragmatics."
"Could you give an example?"
"Yes, I could."

At an interview interviewer asks a question:

- Can you tell me about some of your weaknesses?
- I understand semantics of questions but not their meanings
- What do you mean by that?
- Exactly that.

I can't believe I got a life sentence for a little insider trading

The judge called it "organ harvesting", but that's just semantics

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and asks for a shot of whiskey

The bartender asks him, "what is that thing and why's it in my bar?"

"That's my pet," the man replies. "He follows me everywhere and we both love a good drink."

Sighing, the bartender decides he doesn't have time to argue the semantics of bringing animals into bars and pours two shots,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drunk notices that one of his fellow regulars is really stepping up his one night stand game as of late so he goes up to him and asks how he's doing it.

The drunk slurs "heyy mate, I've been notishing that you are shagging allotta women lately. It's almost like 50 pershent of the babes end up leaving with you. You gotta tell me your *hic secret". The guy thinks for a second and looks the drunk up and down. He tells the drunk "I will tell you my secr...

Comedy is just....

Some antics with semantics

I hate people who get hung up on small things

You could say I'm Anti-Semantics

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