Hertz Rent-a-car has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

The government later offered to upgrade them to chapter 12 for just five more bucks a day.

When your mom slaps you with high frequency

It hertz

How does the pandemic affect the rental car industry?

It Hertz.

A hire van ran over my foot today.

Really Hertz!

What happens if you drop a computer on your feet?

It hertz

I beat my meat frequently

My arm hertz a lot afterwards

What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?

"It was shockingly powerful... Like, it really Hertz."

My moms response time for a slap in the face used to be 1ms

and it hertz alot.

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual reunion of all time greats.......

\* Newton said he'd drop in.
\* Socrates said he'd think about it.
\* Ohm resisted the idea.
\* Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
\* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.
\* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.
\* Volta was electrified at the prospe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got hit by a rental car on the way to work yesterday

Fucking Hertz.

Have you ever been hit by a TV?

It hertz.

Why is it not good to hear high pitched sounds?

It hertz

You know there's a unit of measurement for pain?

Its called Hertz

What is the difference between AC and DC?

AC Hertz more.

People asked me how it feels when you stick your finger in an electricity outlet?

To be honest, it Hertz.

Did you know that seals can't hear bass?

It's true - the seal hearing range bottoms out at 1000 Hertz.

No wonder they don't like clubbing.

Someone insulted me on my monitor's refresh rate

Right where it hertz

A Young Boy Goes to His Father, Covering His Ears

He says, "Dad, I've got a problem." The dad asks, "What's wrong?" His son winces and says, "It's my hearing, Dad. Everything I hear hurts my ears." The dad looks his son in the eyes and says, "Son, all sound hertz."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to a prostitute and asked what her rate was for handjobs

She told me about ten strokes per second

I think it Hertz

What did the electrician say when he electrocuted himself?

That Hertz!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Buying a car from Hertz is like marrying a Prostitute

It may look good on the outside, but you have no idea whose been in it or what they've done to it.

My family’s new truck

I remember once when I was a younger kid living with my parents, my dad gave me some money to go down to the grocery store to pay the electricity bill.

Thinking I was a super lucky kid & kind of smart, I decided to buy scratch-off tickets instead. Surprise, surprise - yeah, none of them w...

I personally identify as one cycle per second.

Because everything hertz.

I turned on the radio and forgot I had the volume maxed out.

Now my left and right ear hertz a lot.

Got in a fight with frequency today

We’ve been friends for ages, so it kinda hertz.

What do you say when you break up with an electrician?

Watt is love?

Baby don't hertz me.

Don't hertz me.

N-ohm-ore.

N-ohm-ore.

I just electrocuted myself

How do you current-ly feel?

I'm kind of shocked

Watt, I didn't hear you

I said it hertz a lot

The frequency of bad physics jokes in this sub...

It Hertz

I tried to think of an electricity pun

Now my head hertz

IT hurts

Rick Grimes: A network engineer went to the doctor.
Coral: Shut up, Dad!
RG: He said, "It hurts when I pee".
Coral: .......
RG: IT Hertz when IP, Coral!

I'm very sensitive to sounds of a certain frequency.

When I hear them it hertz.

Laser joke

A blue laser hertz twice as much as a red laser.

If you have bought a new monitor, don't forget to update your refreshrate.

Otherwise, it only Hertz in your wallet.

What did Tesla say as he invented alternated current?

"Aw, that hertz!"

I just got electrocuted.

It hertz so bad, Watt do I do?

What do you say when you hear a sound that bothers you?

Ouch, that Hertz...

I once listened to very loud music for too long

My ear still hertz

I can tell you first hand what standing next to a loudspeaker feels like.

It hertz.

Physics Joke

I just bought a pair of bad frequency shoes. I keep doppling over and my foot hertz.

I was injured by my radio.

It Hertz.

Why do light bulbs burn out with frequency?

Because it hertz.

What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked?

That hertz.

Red Neck Computer Dictionary

* LOG ON: Makin’ a woodstove hot.
* LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
* MONITOR: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove.
* DOWNLOAD: Gittin’ the farwood off the truck.
* MEGA HERTZ: When you’re not keerfull gittin’ the farwood.
* FLOPPY DISC: Whutcha git from trying to tote too much far...

A physicist walks into a bar...

It Hertz.

TIFU by kicking my computer monitor...

and my foot still hertz.

I am going to change my name to time being.

Because everyone is always doing stuff for the time being.

Hertz donut.

What happens when you get a lot of electroshocks within a short period of time?

It hertz.

A boy was snapping rubber bands on his friends arm

He kept doing it in the same spot every second, over and over again until the friend eventually said, "Ouch, that one Hertz."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's it like having sex with a wave?

Fucking hertz.

I keep trying to think of the unit for frequency...

It hertz my head.

what did the router say to the doctor?

It hertz when IP.

What did the Computer Processor say when it was overclocked?

It Hertz.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Horse Names banned by the British Horse Racing Authority

Chit Hot

Chocolate Starfish

Choke the Chicken

Curl One Off

Dick Face

Harry Azzol

Harry Balls

Harry Monk

Hugh G Dildeaux

Hugh G Rection

Hugh Gass Kisser

Hugh Gorgy

Hugh Janus

Ima Hoare

Ima Goodlay
...

A man's ears were exposed to a high frequency sound...

He said "It hertz."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Warning, this is worse than those laffy-taffy jokes) Why don't engineers have sex with much frequency?

Because it hertz!

2 sound waves... (OC)

...were travelling to their destination when they suddenly crash into each other.

The first wave says "Hey, are you okay?"

The second wave says "Oh I'm fine

It just Hertz"

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