UPJOKE
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The first few times you get hit by AC, it really hertz

But after that, it'll barely phase you.

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Space Tourism

One of the car hire companies was looking at diversification, to be able to better cope in the next pandemic.

They started getting interested in the space tourism market, currently dominated by companies such as Blue Origin, Virgin Galactic and SpaceX. They needed a hook to make them stand o...

Have you ever been hit by a rental car before?

Nah but I’ve heard it Hertz

What happens when someone slaps you at high frequency ?

It Hertz

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I got hit by a rental car on the way to work yesterday

Fucking Hertz.

gigahertz ?

it sure does ; especially when i do it with frequency !!

What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? .

That hertz.

Scientist has a pain that comes back periodically.

Keeps saying "aaaaah it Hertz"

What do you say when the music is too loud?

My ear hertz

I'm very sensitive to sounds of a certain frequency.

When I hear them it hertz.

What happens if you slap a tuning fork?

It hertz

I tried to think of an electricity pun

Now my head hertz

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Buying a car from Hertz is like marrying a Prostitute

It may look good on the outside, but you have no idea whose been in it or what they've done to it.

I turned on the radio and forgot I had the volume maxed out.

Now my left and right ear hertz a lot.

History's great scientists were invited to a party. Here are their responses.

Isaac Newton: "I'll drop in."

Socrates: "I'll think about it."

Georg Ohm: "I'm resisting the idea."

Robert Boyle: "I'm under too much pressure."

Charles Darwin: "I'll wait to see what evolves."

Pierre and Marie Curie: "We're radiating enthusiasm."

Alessandro...

Why do light bulbs burn out with frequency?

Because it hertz.

Something hit me at high frequency today

It really hertz.

REM got it wrong, Kenneth

Hertz is the frequency. Watt is power.

Laser joke

A blue laser hertz twice as much as a red laser.

What did Nikola Tesla say after being shocked by his Tesla Coil?

That hertz alot

My moms response time for a slap in the face used to be 1ms

and it hertz alot.

I slammed my hand in the door at the car rentals

It Hertz...

What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?

"It was shockingly powerful... Like, it really Hertz."

I shocked myself on the power outlet today

It doesn't feel good. It hertz

The girl who works at the car rental company refuses to go out with me

and it really Hertz.

Doctor: Does your migraine happen at regular frequency?

Me: Yes, it really hertz.

The neighbour ran into an electric cable

That must of hertz.

What did the monitor say when it gets hurt

Oww that Hertz

What did the network/IT man say to the doctor?

IT hertz when IP.

I've been watching my HTZ stock go down.

It really Hertz.

What did the electrician say when he electrocuted himself?

That Hertz!

Why can't our ears hear very high pitched sounds?

Because it hertz.

What is the difference between AC and DC?

AC Hertz more.

BREAKING NEWS!

Man gets hit by a rental car.

Says, “It Hertz.”

The frequency of bad physics jokes in this sub...

It Hertz

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A rental van ran over my foot today...

Fucking Hertz!

What do you say when you break up with an electrician?

Watt is love?

Baby don't hertz me.

Don't hertz me.

N-ohm-ore.

N-ohm-ore.

I just electrocuted myself

How do you current-ly feel?

I'm kind of shocked

Watt, I didn't hear you

I said it hertz a lot

How do you describe the pain of getting slapped in the face 100 times in two seconds?

50 Hertz

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My friend bought a loud speaker

He suddenly played a beat drop ass song.


I screamed.


He asked, "What's wrong?"


I said "It hertz."

A Young Boy Goes to His Father, Covering His Ears

He says, "Dad, I've got a problem." The dad asks, "What's wrong?" His son winces and says, "It's my hearing, Dad. Everything I hear hurts my ears." The dad looks his son in the eyes and says, "Son, all sound hertz."

Someone insulted me on my monitor's refresh rate

Right where it hertz

What happens if you drop a computer on your feet?

It hertz

Got in a fight with frequency today

We’ve been friends for ages, so it kinda hertz.

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I went to a prostitute and asked what her rate was for handjobs

She told me about ten strokes per second

I think it Hertz

My family’s new truck

I remember once when I was a younger kid living with my parents, my dad gave me some money to go down to the grocery store to pay the electricity bill.

Thinking I was a super lucky kid & kind of smart, I decided to buy scratch-off tickets instead. Surprise, surprise - yeah, none of them w...

I can tell you first hand what standing next to a loudspeaker feels like.

It hertz.

You know there's a unit of measurement for pain?

Its called Hertz

Did you know that seals can't hear bass?

It's true - the seal hearing range bottoms out at 1000 Hertz.

No wonder they don't like clubbing.

IT hurts

Rick Grimes: A network engineer went to the doctor.
Coral: Shut up, Dad!
RG: He said, "It hurts when I pee".
Coral: .......
RG: IT Hertz when IP, Coral!

What happens when you get a lot of electroshocks within a short period of time?

It hertz.

If you have bought a new monitor, don't forget to update your refreshrate.

Otherwise, it only Hertz in your wallet.

What did frequency say to noise?

Ouch! That hertz!

Red Neck Computer Dictionary

* LOG ON: Makin’ a woodstove hot.
* LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
* MONITOR: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove.
* DOWNLOAD: Gittin’ the farwood off the truck.
* MEGA HERTZ: When you’re not keerfull gittin’ the farwood.
* FLOPPY DISC: Whutcha git from trying to tote too much far...

A boy was snapping rubber bands on his friends arm

He kept doing it in the same spot every second, over and over again until the friend eventually said, "Ouch, that one Hertz."

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What's it like having sex with a wave?

Fucking hertz.

What did Tesla say as he invented alternated current?

"Aw, that hertz!"

Physics Joke

I just bought a pair of bad frequency shoes. I keep doppling over and my foot hertz.

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Horse Names banned by the British Horse Racing Authority

Chit Hot

Chocolate Starfish

Choke the Chicken

Curl One Off

Dick Face

Harry Azzol

Harry Balls

Harry Monk

Hugh G Dildeaux

Hugh G Rection

Hugh Gass Kisser

Hugh Gorgy

Hugh Janus

Ima Hoare

Ima Goodlay
...

A physicist walks into a bar...

It Hertz.

TIFU by kicking my computer monitor...

and my foot still hertz.

I am going to change my name to time being.

Because everyone is always doing stuff for the time being.

Hertz donut.

What did the Computer Processor say when it was overclocked?

It Hertz.

I keep trying to think of the unit for frequency...

It hertz my head.

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(Warning, this is worse than those laffy-taffy jokes) Why don't engineers have sex with much frequency?

Because it hertz!

A man's ears were exposed to a high frequency sound...

He said "It hertz."

2 sound waves... (OC)

...were travelling to their destination when they suddenly crash into each other.

The first wave says "Hey, are you okay?"

The second wave says "Oh I'm fine

It just Hertz"

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