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Examples Jokes

My wife asked me, “Hey, can you give examples of jobs that don’t exist anymore?”

I said, “Steve.”

A teacher in Ireland is giving an English lesson and asks the class for examples of when they have heard the word "contagious" being used…

One eager child says, "Daddy says to cover my mouth when I cough because my cold is contagious!"

"Very good!" replied the teacher. "Has anybody else got an example?"

"My mummy says my laugh is contagious!" said another child.


"Great answer!" said the teacher, "How about you...

"Can someone give an example of things that are useless?" The teacher asked.

Me: *raises hand*

Teacher: Very good. Any other examples?

Give me two examples of a pronoun.

Who? Me?

The theme of my companies team building retreat this year was mindfulness. They asked each one of us to give two examples of an open minded person. They said there were no wrong answers but,

If your answer is author Ernest Hemingway and singer Kurt Cobain it gets you a meeting with HR.

I searched Google images for examples of Rorschach tests...

But all I found were pictures of my dad hitting me.

In the future, whenever they try to give examples of what can go wrong due to bad decisions, they will point to this year...

Coz hindsight is 2020.

The time to fight against climate change is upon us, and this sub is setting fantastic examples.

Everything here is recycled anyway...

TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound.

At least, I'm pretty sure...

FP Edit: Jesus RIP my inbox with "sure." Thanks for all the support and hilarious counter examples provided!

FP of Reddit! I'd like to thank all of you commenters and my dad and I love you all so much! Oh! And the ones salty about my edits, you guys really ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words, she thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more that one syllable.

Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?
After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday.
Great Jane that has two syllables, Mon......day
Does anyone know another word.
I do, I do, me me me replied Johnny.
Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead.
O...

Everyone is a good example

Some are just a good bad example.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher asks her class for some examples of medicines tgey use at home

Little Kevin promptly raises his hands and says, "Tylenol! For headaches!"

The teacher says, "Very good, Kevin, anyone else?"

Little Lisa answers from the back, "Um, Ambien, my Mom tells me it helps her sleep...?"

The teacher smiles at her and says, "Good job, Lisa," then turns ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest decides to show some concrete examples about a sinful life during sunday mass.

He brings 4 closed jars. The first jar is filled with alcohol. The second one with cigarette smoke. The third one with sperm. The fourth one with clean water.

Inside each jar, there is an earthworm.

The priest starts talking about the examples of sinful life and shows each jar to the p...

(This is not a joke) I'm a linguistic researcher that is working on the semiotic of jokes and need help to find exemples of a particular type of joke.

Hi, I hope this is not against the rules but I need help for a research paper centered around jokes, and this obviously looks like a good place for that.

I am working on linguistic structuralism to try to find the linguistic value of surprise in a joke. (I'm simplifying a lot, but i can expla...

Sayings always said with sarcasm. Any examples?

I hate to say I told you so.

No sarcasm: I...I truly hate to say I told you so.

What not to put in one's mouth

One day, the teacher asked the children in class to give examples of what was not good to put in one's mouth.

Little Johnny says, “It is not good to put a lit light bulb in one's mouth.”

The teacher says, “That is correct, but why?”

Little Johnny answers, “I don't know, but my m...

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