Why are there no highly credited esteemed flat-earthers?

Because flattery will get you nowhere.

As I was having lunch a few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is highly overrated.

It’s just a curd to me.

My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”

I said, “It must be my weakened immune system.”

Trading humans like mere goods is highly illegal and immoral.

Unless you are a football team manager.

Remember that every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person

Stay lazy, my friends

Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."


Passenger: "Who?"


Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you ...

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said:

“Last night, we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”

The other man said:

“What was the name of the restaurant?”

The first man thought and thought and finally said:<...

Why God? Why?

One day a fellow was watching Fox News and learned about a new virus that was rapidly spreading and quickly killing those who got sick with it. The nightly news reports got worse and worse, this Covid-19 virus was spreading around the world and killing increasingly large numbers of people. But he wa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady finally found her soulmate and calls her dad to tell him about it

(Translated from romanian, hopefully you will get it lol)

The dad is smiling and eager to find out more about this man he asks even more questions about her new lover.

She tells him that he is smart, beautiful, finished his studies at a highly prestigious university and now he is worki...

What is both legal and cool, pleasant and healthy, free and highly profitable, securing and freeing - all in one, and is available only today?

Voting in USA

After earning his DDS; a dentist went and opened up his own practice.

He became widely known for his amazing skills, and was highly praised + recommended by every patient he ever had. One year; he was nominated for (and won) a prestigious medical award. Inscribed upon its ornate surface was his name and the specific honor: “Global Recognition of Outstanding Surgical S...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a place where highly-trained-gay killers stay for night?

Ass-ass-inn

What weighs 6 ounces, sits on a tree, and highly dangerous

A sparrow with a machine gun

Missed Orientation Class of Fight Club

Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club.

Not mine and could be old but this will not age

My French friends can get me to do anything. I'm highly susceptible to Pierre pressure.

I don't know what a "tua" is but, I think I could manage one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This bloke walks into the poshest restaurant in town.

'Where's the pissing, motherfucking manager, you cocksucking arsewipe?' he inquires of one of the waiters. The waiter is taken-aback and replies, 'Excuse me sir but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here. I will get the manager as soon as I can'.

The manager comes o...

Who is the most highly regarded musician in Australia?

Aussie Osbourne

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