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I asked my wife wether she would want to try something new in bed tonight

Sex

I asked my chem teacher wether he knew the formula for nitrous oxide

Unfortunately he said no

EDIT:

for the people complaining about how i messed up the formula name, its a joke, it doesnt matter

At the start of the pandemic, it was a good opportunity to tell wether I was an introvert or an extrovert.

Turns out, I’m just a pervert.

How can you tell wether someone is vegan or not?

Because they will tell you again and again and again...

Two drunk people are walking down a road.

The first one says, "What a beautiful night...look at that bright, full moon." The second man stops and looks at his drunk friends. "You fool, that's the sun, not the moon", he mumbles. Soon, they start arguing.

As they are arguing, they pass by another drunk man. They both stop his ask him,...

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

3. 2 argue about wether or not the lightbulb exists, and 1 to actually change it

Old Egyptian joke

In Egypt, the election system used to be that people would vote yes or no to the current president to determine wether elections were going to happen or not. The day before the polls everyone would hang signs saying yes to the president. But one man decides to vote no.


Later that night,...

A plane with famous and influential politicians onboard crashes into a field.

When the authorities arrive they find no survivors or dead bodies on the spot. It soon turns out that a local farmer buried them a bit further away.

The investigators ask him if he is sure there were no survivors, but he confirms that he buried each of them with his two hands.

The doct...

When in Russia (very bad quality joke)

A man visits Russia for a month. He enjoyed everything there for the first few weeks, the vodka, the cathedrals, even the people there. It was only towards the final week that he realised things started to get a bit strange. Everyone he sees have much stronger arm muscles by the end of the month tha...

Baseball in heaven.

Two senior baseball fans John and Greg always wondered if the game of baseball existed in heaven.

So they made a pact. “Whoever out of us two die first HAS to come back to earth to confirm wether there is baseball in heaven.”

Unfortunately John passes away a week later, and true to h...

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A man comes at heavens gates

A man comes at heavens gates and Moe asks him wether he has had a good life and if he had ever sinned. Well, the man replies, I have never cursed or used swear words. Ok, Moe says that’s a good beginning. And were you married? He asks. No, I was not, answers the man truthfully, but I also never had ...

A man and a women had three children

A man and a woman had three children, all girls. The mother had always wanted a son, but every time she tried to have a baby with her husband, they would give birth to a girl.
One day, the man has to leave his wife for a year, to join the military abroad. The woman decides to take the opportunity...

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Capitalization...

Is what defines wether you're helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, or you're helping your Uncle jack off a horse.

A priest gets into quicksand...

he notices he can´t get himself out of there, so he starts praying. Along comes a guy. The guy sees the priest and asks: "do you need help?" But the priest just answers: "No, god will help me." He sinks in deeper and deeper, is in to his hip, as antoher guy comes by and asks the priest wether he cou...

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Three flees who are living in a woman's body

are talking to each other. The first one, who lives in the ear, says: "Well, my life is very easy: my house gets brushed every weak. It's hygienic, and I'm satisfied".
The second one lives in the belly button. He says: "My house is also beautiful. It gets cleaned even every day, and I love it to...

Stalin calls a meeting in the Politburo

To hold a debate on wether there will be money in the Soviet Union. The two main factions, led by Trotsky and Bukharin, represent left- and right-wing views. Trotsky said, "We should absolutely abolish money, the state should be able to provide all of its citizens." Bukharin rises to speak, saying, ...

Two rednecks, Joe and Bubba went out in the woods looking for Christmas trees.

They looked all day without any luck. Near nightfall Bubba finally said, "Joe, I'm takin the next tree we come to, wether it has lights on it or not!"

Why did the pet proctologist fear his first feline procedure?

Because wether he succeeded or failed, he knew he'd end up with a cat-ass-trophy on his hands.

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