Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.


How do you know if it works?

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

“I know this is difficult for you ma’am, but we need to know exactly how you were tortured by the accused. You said that after the hot poker came the pliers pulling out your toenails, but each time you start to tell us the final torture, you break down. Now take a deep breath, & tell the court...”

“Well”, she sobbed, “before he let me go [sob] he made me... he made me........ watch ‘Holmes and Watson’ twice in one sitting”

How does Neil deGrasse Tyson trim his toenails tomorrow?

Eclipse them!

What did the mathemetician do about his ingrown toenail infection?

sohcahtoa.

My girlfriend LOVES my toenails..

I'm starting to think she's a nailphile.

What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth?

A pedi-file

My wife threatened to leave me

Because of my ‘filthy and disgusting habits’. I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

2 brothers are lost in the woods

Without a map or any food they wander the woods in hopes of finding something!
After a few hours they spot a small hut, with smoke coming from a chimney.
Ecstatic, they run right to the door and begin pounding.
An old overweight woman answers the door.
"My what striking young men you are...

Yo momma is so fat

Her toenails aren't painted, just redshifted

Elephant jokes.

Why do elephants paint their toenails red? To hide in cherry trees.

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Thats because it had its toenails painted.

Why should you never walk through the forrest between the hours of 5pm and 7pm? That's when elephants tend to jump out of cher...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Tarzan

How do Elephants hide in the Wild?
They Paint their balls Red and hide in an Apple Tree.

How do Elephants hid in the city?
They Paint their toenails different colors and hide in a bag of M'n'Ms.

How did Tarzan die?
By picking apples.

A man is walking down the street very hungry....

and he only has 2 dollars in his pocket. No matter where he looks, 2 dollars doesn't seem to buy him a meal. That is until he comes across a restaurant who specializes in chili, and they were having a special. One bowl of chili for 2 dollars! So the man walks into the restaurant and immediately sees...