What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto

(Please don’t hurt me)

If someone with a toe fetish cheats on you

Does that mean they got off on the wrong foot?

I really don't like toe amputees

I'm lack toes intolerant

What did the chromosome say to his sister when she slammed the door on his toe

Ow my-toe-sis!

Man went to see a wise doctor about his toe

As his little toe on his right foot is turning purple. The doctor examine it and then took a sip of his tea and said: "I have over 50 years of experience as a doctor yet I've never seen a case as severe as yours. We must remove your toe immediately before it spreads to the rest of your foot." So the...

I dropped my knife and cut off a toe

After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.

Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.

Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.

Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.

Me: No way. Whats the good news?

Doctor: The good news is the ...

What’s worse than stubbing your toe?

Mass genocide

The purpose of the small toe in your feet

Is really to find if all your furnitures are in their proper places.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met this sexy girl in a club tonight and told her she reminded me of my little toe. Giggling, she asked, "Why?! Is it because I'm small and cute!?"

"No..." I said. "It's because later, I'm gonna bang you hard on my coffee table."

If a ring for a toe is a toe ring...

Then shouldn't a ring for a finger be a *fingering*

What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

Guy takes a girl home after a second date. He tells her that she reminds him of his little toe. “Ahhh is it because I am small and cute?” she asks..

Nope, if I have any more to drink there is a very real chance I’m going to bang you on the coffee table.

A guy is walking along a beach when he stubs his toe on a golden lamp...

..chuckling to himself he picks it up and gives it a rub. Fwoosh, out pops this enormous genie.

"I am the Genie of the Lamp!" he booms, "I will grant you a single wish for releasing me!"

"Wow! I know exactly what I'd like to wish for," exclaims our hero. "I've always wanted to visit Di...

Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle?

It has an X-O-skeleton.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oedipus stubs his toe

"Ow! Fucking hell that hurt!" He exclaims

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

I stubbed my toe and got scolded by my parents for yelling “What the duck”

They were angry that I used fowl language

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Girlfriend was born without her pinky toe and the sight of her foot makes me physically ill.

My therapist says I'm lack toes intolerant.

My new girlfriend dumped me when she found out I was missing a toe

Apparently she's lactose intolerant.

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe....

Robertoe.
Courtesy of my 8 year old daughter.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Cutting your toe off with an axe

A guy walks into a bar wearing a head to toe radiation suit

The bartender says “I’ve heard of clothing that protects you from the elements, but this is outrageous”

Which Mexican got plastic surgery on its toe?

Ruberto

TIFU by accidentally ramming my toe against a cigarette urn while trying to throw my cigarette away.

Oops, wrong stub.

Two monkeys were about to get in a bath. One dipped its toe in and said "oo oo ah ah".

The other said "Jesus Gerald, if it's that hot run the cold tap for a few minutes!"

A man loses his toe in an unfortunate accident and calls 911.

They rush him to the hospital, where he is brought to the operating room for surgical reattachment.

He wakes up some hours later in the recovery room and sees the doctor waiting at the foot of his bed, looking uncomfortable.

“Doctor? How’d it go?” he asked.

“Well... I have good ...

What did the Frequently Asked Question say when it stubbed it's toe?

"FAQ!"

What would happen if I chopped your toes off?

You'd toeple over

When god created man

Gods assistant: Is it done?

God: Hmm, add a little toe to his foot.

Gods assistant: Why?

God: For furniture.

Gods assistant: Furniture?

God: Believe me it'll be funny

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between the little toe on my left foot and my sex life?

Everything wants to bang my little toe

My biology teacher stubbed his toe today and screamed..

Mitosis

I sold my foot that had the Tic-Tac toe today...

I heard collectors pay more for items in mint condition.

Next time I hit the club, I'm coloring myself head to toe with a permanent marker, and that's all I'll wear.

Because every girl's crazy 'bout a Sharpie-dressed man.

My wife bought me a ridiculously expensive wig which covered me from head to toe! Wtf, I mean... I had to return it...

... simply far too much toupee.

My girlfriend reminds me of my pinky toe

She's small, cute, and will probably end up getting banged on my coffee table tonight

why did silly Billy tip toe passed the medicine cabinet?

Because he didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.

I felt a toe brush against me whilst I was out swimming in the lake

I thought 'something must be afoot'

Girl, imma treat you like I treat my pinky toe

I'm going to bang you on all the furniture all night long

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to toe...

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man gro...

I just clipped the worst ingrown toe-nail...

It was a feet.

I hate it when I stub my toe while rapping

Gucci-dang

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the cell brother say to his cell sister when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

What do you call a picture of a prosthetic big toe?

A faux toe photo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

toe curl

A virgin is finally getting his groove on with a willing young lady for the first time. Afterwards he's got a few questions about the experience and has to ask, What's the deal with your toes curling up every time I put my dick in you. Well she responded, you were so eager to get it on you didn't gi...

Baby, you're like my big toe...

I'm gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my house.

What do you call bread with your toe jam spread all over it?

Toest

I wish you were my big toe

So I could bang you on my coffee table

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