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Nascar Jokes

A janitor gets accepted into Nascar

His car goes "Broom, Broom"

How do you watch NASCAR without a TV?

You flush a bag of M&M's down the toilet.

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non Athletic Sports Centered Around Rednecks

NASCAR used to have an Internet Explorer car

But it kept crashing.

It's strange to see all these NASCAR fans upset with NASCAR for taking a progressive stance.

Normally they seem to like seeing things turning to the left.

How many Nascar drivers does it take to blow up a jet dryer?

Just Juan

NASCAR is officially canceled

After discovering it's just a human traffic ring

What do NASCAR and gang bangs have in common?

If you’re not first, you’re last.

The changes with NASCAR were bound to happen......

They've been turning left for years.

If I love Formula 1 and hate NASCAR...

Does that make me a race-ist?

What do you call a guy in a nascar screaming slurs?

Speed Racist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the difference between Hitler and a Nascar driver?

The nascar driver can actually finish a race.

Whats the difference between a presidential election and a nascar race?

In nascar they wear their sponsors on their shirts.

why aren't hotdog ads allowed in nascar?

because no-one else would be able to ketchup

Imagine a nascar fan. The image that comes to mind is probably that of a brutish, beer guzzling, loud mouth, hairy, unwashed, unshaven, redneck

And her husband.

I don't care anymore. I'm gonna say the N word with a hard R !

NASCAR

Why does Ben Shapiro hate NASCAR?

Because the cars only turn left

Why does Matthew McConaughey dislike NASCAR

Because it's not all right, all right, all right.....

NASCAR can't ban the confederate flag

They wave it every race with one lap to go!

I’m surprised how many NASCAR fans are rednecks

All the cars do is go left
(I’m sorry how dumb this is)

Robot Bartender makes a great Martini

A guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini."
The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "168."
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, climate change, and AI m...

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a NASCAR driver?

Tiger Woods plays golf for a living, but enjoys smashing up his car on his days off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Nascar drivers call anal sex?

Pro laps

what do Nascar drivers and hookers have in common?

they both know how to finish fast.

Matthew McConaughey just bought NASCAR

And he's making racers drive the opposite direction. Now instead of making left turns, they're going all right, all right, all right

My ex-girlfriend said she liked Formula 1 but not NASCAR

I just can’t be in a relationship with someone who’s raceist

There's an old saying in NASCAR racing

What goes around comes around.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've got a conspiracy that NASCAR fucking sucks...

It's my critical race theory.

What do they call a right turn in NASCAR?

The Earnhardt.

PSA: Don't tell this joke in a 100miles of Charlotte Motor speedway.

NASCAR got rid of the confederate flag from race tracks

Another true end to race wars.

NSFW: what do your mom and a nascar driver have in common?

They both burn 4 rubbers a day

I think it's important to keep the races separate.

Just imagine how unfair it would be for a horse in NASCAR.

Apparently NASCAR is banning all Confederate flags from its races.

But how will drivers know they’ve entered the last lap of the race? 🏳

Why did the NASCAR driver die in the car wreck?

Because he was indy car when it happened

All nascar racers must be Democrats

Becuase all they do is go left

What is a Nascar driver's favorite kind of war?

It's a
Race War

What did Michael Jackson have in common with a second-place NASCAR driver?

They both came in a little behind.

Some races are inferior and should be eliminated

No offense, I just don't enjoy Nascar.

Did you hear about the time Matthew McConaughey drove backwards on a NASCAR track?

All right, all right, all right

NASCAR is a visualization of how women argue.

They keep going in circles.

And I sit through both things with the same hope: If I wait long enough, maybe they will crash and burn.

What’s a NASCAR driver’s favorite song to sing to other drivers during a race?

Blue Bayou

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks

(I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

What’s the difference between Matthew McConaughey and a nascar driver?

While nascar drivers take all lefts... McConaughey takes alrights alrights alrights

I prefer Indy car over Nascar...

...I guess that makes me racist.

Did you hear about the hate crime in NASCAR the other day?

Turns out, it was just some fake noose.

Why is NASCAR a white dominated sport?

They're all racists.

Why did the black referee give a warning to the Nascar driver?

Because he loved pulling out that race card.

Did you hear NASCAR and Formula One we're trying to make an Ultimate Showdown race but it got cancelled due to controversy?

Apparently NASCAR fans didn't want to mix the races....

So NASCAR has decided to ban confederate flags at all events...

Looks like all those years of turning left rubbed off on them.

I'm not a fan of Nascar...

I believe in equal rights.

How many NASCAR fans does it take to change a tire?

None - they took the wheels off their homes years ago.

Why aren't there many female NASCAR drivers?

Because women always think they're right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm surprised more black people don't relate with NASCAR...

After all, there are no rights

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We really shouldn't be surprised that NASCAR banned the Confederate flag and is participating in charity auctions for pride month

They've been going left for years

What do you call someone who thinks NASCAR is superior to any other racing sport?

A racist.

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

"The track is alright."

What word starts with N, ends with R and is associated with a race?

NASCAR

What racing series do rappers compete in?

NasCar

My friend was angry when NASCAR banned the Confederate flag from the races

But he got angrier when I pointed out they still wave it on the final lap every race

What do Nascar and a Kinko's dumpster have in common?

They're both filled with white trash.

-&y

The police were called to a NASCAR event when belligerent fans became violent after being asked to remove the Confederate flags they had brought to the event.

Authorities believe it to be race-related.

What professional sport would be more fun to watch if the athletes drank alcohol during?

NASCAR

Theres only one race, the human race...

But what about NASCAR?

Why do rednecks like to do it doggie style?

That way they can **BOTH** watch NASCAR.

I'm not a racist, I love all races equally

Nascar, Formula 1, Mario Kart......

A guy walks into a bar, and is greeted by a robot.

The robot says, “What’s your drink”? The man replies, “Whisky”. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ”? The man says 150. The robot then pours his whisky and proceeds to talk to the man about the space time continuum, time travel, and the multiverse. The man finishes his drink, and leaves the bar. ...

What has an IQ of 100 and a full set of teeth?

The front row at a NASCAR race.

We need to stop mixing races. By doing so it creates people with an unfair advantage when it comes to competition.

No matter how hard I try I still can't outrun a Nascar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Uncle Tommy...

...robbed banks and hired only professionals to be part of his crew. His biggest mistake was in hiring an ex-Nascar driver as his get away man. The fucker kept driving around in circles.

You know the majority of folks down south hate left leaning politicians and it finally hit me as to why.....

They watch nascar drivers lean left 500 times every Sunday and just cant take anymore left in their life.

Yo Mamma so ugly...

Yo momma so ugly that we created a global conspiracy "plandemic" and ruined the world economy and expedited the new world order and ruined Trump's rally and banned the Confederate flag from nascar and cancelled major league baseball just so she'd wear a mask.

Im sorry, but I have to share this racist opinion

I dont care who asks I like nascar more than those BS marathons.

A man goes to a costume party with nothing but a naked lady strapped to his back

"What the hell are you supposed to be" Asked the Host.

The man starts to open his mouth but the woman covered it with one of her hands. "I'm a NASCAR racer" The woman respondedz

"How the hell can you be a NASCAR driver when all you're doing is riding a man? The host asks.

"Oh, t...

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