A janitor gets accepted into Nascar

His car goes "Broom, Broom"

What do NASCAR and gang bangs have in common?

If you’re not first, you’re last.

What word starts with N, ends with R and is associated with a race?

NASCAR

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We really shouldn't be surprised that NASCAR banned the Confederate flag and is participating in charity auctions for pride month

They've been going left for years

Imagine a nascar fan. The image that comes to mind is probably that of a brutish, beer guzzling, loud mouth, hairy, unwashed, unshaven, redneck

And her husband.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a NASCAR driver?

Tiger Woods plays golf for a living, but enjoys smashing up his car on his days off.

NASCAR is officially canceled

After discovering it's just a human traffic ring

A snail started racing NASCAR and asked the racing board if he could use an S on his car instead of a number.

"Why would you want to do that?" one of the board members asked.

"So that when I speed around the track, the onlookers will shout, 'What the hell was in that acid, snails can't drive cars!"

The changes with NASCAR were bound to happen......

They've been turning left for years.

How do you watch NASCAR without a TV?

You flush a bag of M&M's down the toilet.

Why doesn't NASCAR have an Internet Explorer car?

Because it would keep crashing.

What do they call a right turn in NASCAR?

The Earnhardt.

PSA: Don't tell this joke in a 100miles of Charlotte Motor speedway.

Did you hear about the hate crime in NASCAR the other day?

Turns out, it was just some fake noose.

A lot of people are shocked by the recent events in NASCAR.

What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.

It's strange to see all these NASCAR fans upset with NASCAR for taking a progressive stance.

Normally they seem to like seeing things turning to the left.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the difference between Hitler and a Nascar driver?

The nascar driver can actually finish a race.

NSFW: what do your mom and a nascar driver have in common?

They both burn 4 rubbers a day

what do Nascar drivers and hookers have in common?

they both know how to finish fast.

Why does Ben Shapiro hate NASCAR?

Because the cars only turn left

Why does Matthew McConaughey dislike NASCAR

Because it's not all right, all right, all right.....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Nascar drivers call anal sex?

Pro laps

We should have seen all these changes in NASCAR coming a mile away.

They're making a left turn!

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non Athletic Sports Centered Around Rednecks

Did you hear about the time Matthew McConaughey drove backwards on a NASCAR track?

All right, all right, all right

Whats the difference between a presidential election and a nascar race?

In nascar they wear their sponsors on their shirts.

Politicians should be required to dress like NASCAR drivers.

With patches all over their suits telling us who their “sponsors” are.

The police were called to a NASCAR event when belligerent fans became violent after being asked to remove the Confederate flags they had brought to the event.

Authorities believe it to be race-related.

So NASCAR has decided to ban confederate flags at all events...

Looks like all those years of turning left rubbed off on them.

If I love Formula 1 and hate NASCAR...

Does that make me a race-ist?

What’s the difference between Matthew McConaughey and a nascar driver?

While nascar drivers take all lefts... McConaughey takes alrights alrights alrights

Did you hear NASCAR and Formula One we're trying to make an Ultimate Showdown race but it got cancelled due to controversy?

Apparently NASCAR fans didn't want to mix the races....

How many Nascar drivers does it take to blow up a jet dryer?

Just Juan

why aren't hotdog ads allowed in nascar?

because no-one else would be able to ketchup

Apparently NASCAR is banning all Confederate flags from its races.

But how will drivers know they’ve entered the last lap of the race? 🏳

Why did the NASCAR driver die in the car wreck?

Because he was indy car when it happened

Did you hear that NASCAR is banning the Confederate Flag?

**They should ban the Finish Flag, it has a "Checkered" past.**

What did Michael Jackson have in common with a second-place NASCAR driver?

They both came in a little behind.

What is a Nascar driver's favorite kind of war?

It's a
Race War

What’s a NASCAR driver’s favorite song to sing to other drivers during a race?

Blue Bayou

My ex-girlfriend said she liked Formula 1 but not NASCAR

I just can’t be in a relationship with someone who’s raceist

What do you call someone who thinks NASCAR is superior to any other racing sport?

A racist.

All nascar racers must be Democrats

Becuase all they do is go left

Some races are inferior and should be eliminated

No offense, I just don't enjoy Nascar.

I think it's important to keep the races separate.

Just imagine how unfair it would be for a horse in NASCAR.

My friend was angry when NASCAR banned the Confederate flag from the races

But he got angrier when I pointed out they still wave it on the final lap every race

Matthew McConaughey just bought NASCAR

And he's making racers drive the opposite direction. Now instead of making left turns, they're going all right, all right, all right

How many NASCAR fans does it take to change a tire?

None - they took the wheels off their homes years ago.

There's an old saying in NASCAR racing

What goes around comes around.

Whats the official jersey of Nascar?

A white wifebeater

I don't care anymore. I'm gonna say the N word with a hard R !

NASCAR

I prefer Indy car over Nascar...

...I guess that makes me racist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm surprised more black people don't relate with NASCAR...

After all, there are no rights

NASCAR is a visualization of how women argue.

They keep going in circles.

And I sit through both things with the same hope: If I wait long enough, maybe they will crash and burn.

Why aren't there many female NASCAR drivers?

Because women always think they're right.

Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR?

They told him he was good at deriving

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks

(I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

I'm not a fan of Nascar...

I believe in equal rights.

What do Pink Floyd fans and NASCAR driver Kyle Larson have in common?

They both love The Wall

Did you hear about the NASCAR driver who went the wrong way around the track?

It turned out to be all right.

What do Nascar and a Kinko's dumpster have in common?

They're both filled with white trash.

-&y

What professional sport would be more fun to watch if the athletes drank alcohol during?

NASCAR

A guy walks into a bar, and is greeted by a robot.

The robot says, “What’s your drink”? The man replies, “Whisky”. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ”? The man says 150. The robot then pours his whisky and proceeds to talk to the man about the space time continuum, time travel, and the multiverse. The man finishes his drink, and leaves the bar. ...

Theres only one race, the human race...

But what about NASCAR?

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

"The track is alright."

Guy goes into a bar in California where there is a robot bartender.

The robot asks, “What will you have?” The guy replies, “Whisky.” The robot brings back his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ? The guy says, “168.” The robot continues to talk about physics, space exploration, and medical technology.

After the guy leaves the more he thinks about it,...

You know the majority of folks down south hate left leaning politicians and it finally hit me as to why.....

They watch nascar drivers lean left 500 times every Sunday and just cant take anymore left in their life.

I'm not a racist, I love all races equally

Nascar, Formula 1, Mario Kart......

What is Matthew McConaughey’s least favorite sport?

NASCAR. It’s just all lefts, all lefts, all lefts

Why do rednecks like to do it doggie style?

That way they can **BOTH** watch NASCAR.

We need to stop mixing races. By doing so it creates people with an unfair advantage when it comes to competition.

No matter how hard I try I still can't outrun a Nascar.

Space Bar and the Robot

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"

The man thought a moment then replied? "A martini please."

The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An engineer and a scientist walk into a dive bar....

Smiling, happy, the engineer says, "Bartender, shots for everyone!"

The bartender leans in, confused, "I can tell you're not from around here. Are you sure you want to buy these people drinks?"

The scientist retorts with, "Make 'em doubles!"

The bartender deploys the drinks to e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Uncle Tommy...

...robbed banks and hired only professionals to be part of his crew. His biggest mistake was in hiring an ex-Nascar driver as his get away man. The fucker kept driving around in circles.

That holocaust joke reminded me of this one I heard about 2 Mexican dudes.

2 Mexican guys move to America from Mexico. They decide to each go their own way and try to adapt to the culture of their new home. A year later they bump into each other.

Mexican guy 1: Hey man! Long time no see! How have you been adapting? I got really into NASCAR, I got this American flag...

What has an IQ of 100 and a full set of teeth?

The front row at a NASCAR race.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The pope is in Mexico visiting. He lowers the partition and kindly asks if he can drive.....

Driver: Excuse me your excellency?

Pope: I said, would you mind if I drive today?

Driver: B..bu...but, sir I will most certainly loose my job if I did that.

Pope: In all these years I have never driven. I used to enjoy driving so very much. I promise, you will not loose your...

The tale of Hobbin & Noggin

One day a farmer's mare birthed two foals. One was named Hobbin, and the other Noggin. The two horses grew up and loved to race each other. One day the farmer noticed the two racing each other around the pasture and thought to himself, "Wow! These horses are quick!" So the next day he entered them i...

A man goes to a costume party with nothing but a naked lady strapped to his back

"What the hell are you supposed to be" Asked the Host.

The man starts to open his mouth but the woman covered it with one of her hands. "I'm a NASCAR racer" The woman respondedz

"How the hell can you be a NASCAR driver when all you're doing is riding a man? The host asks.

"Oh, t...

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