UPJOKE
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I asked my friend if he could tell me what ethnicity Napoleon was.

He said course I can.

Which ethnicity can never win or lose?

Thai

Three village women are walking home from a trip to town...

(Full disclosure: I modified this joke from one in *The Pretty Good Joke Book*)

(Disclaimer: You can assign any nationality or ethnicity you like to these women. To avoid controversy, I'm calling them "Poltroonian")

So these three Poltroonian village women are walking back to their vi...

An old [insert race/ethnicity] man is laying on his deathbed, surrounded by his family ...

He says, "Gather everybody around, I have some last words!"

"OK papa, everybody's here!"

"Are all my brothers and my sisters here?"

"Yes papa, they're all here!"

"And my children?"

"Yes papa."

"And my grandchildren?"

"Yes papa, **everybody's here!**"<...

What ethnicity is Santa?

North Poleish

What ethnicity are the Mucinex mascots?

Phlegmish.

Her parents wanted her to date someone of her own ethnicity.

But Polly wanted a cracker.

What do conservatives hate about mixed ethnicity math classes?

There's too much integration

What do you call a frog from mixed ethnicity?

A Tad-polish

(Don't know if repost not trying to be)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People often ask me what’s the difference between being a Jew and being Jewish. If you’re a Jew, you’re born into the ethnicity, and you probably practice the religion. If you’re just religious, you’re only kind of a Jew

You’re Jew*ish*.

What ethnicity are you when you're making your way to the bathroom?

Rushin'

What ethnicity is a nervous snake?

Hiss-panic.

Someone from an island in the Mediterranean asked me if I could guess their ethnicity...

...I said Corsican

A new discovery is made pertaining to the ethnicity of Ancient Egyptian Kings

Archaeologists have discovered that the kings of Ancient Egypt were in fact black. Upon unwrapping the gold sarcophagus they found the body of a dark chocolate skinned man. The legendary Pharaoh Rocher.

How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

I offended a girl at Ethnicity Club.

Apparently she didn't like my tone.

Ethnic jokes are funny, but

someone always gets offended. So I'm going to make up an ethnicity, let's call it Cleavens. There no one is a Cleaven so they can't get offended.

Okay, so two black cleavens walk into a bar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The following add in the Atlanta Journal is reported to have received numerous calls

“Single female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.

I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play.

I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.

Candlelight dinners will have ...

An old man told me about a brothel

I was sitting at a bar one evening and an old man walked in, sat down beside me and ordered a drink. After a few minutes he tapped me on the shoulder and pointed out the window to a building on top of a hill.  "That's a brothel. You can tell the ethnicity of the men going there based on where they a...

One engine on a plane is failing...

So the pilot comes over the speaker and says 'Unfortunately the plane won't be able to handle all of the passengers without crashing. We will have to start removing passengers from the plane giving them parachutes and pushing them out until we reach our ideal flying weight. We will choose people alp...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Armenian survived a plane crash in Africa

But it seemed that fate held a grudge against him: he was captured by cannibals and was taken to be served as dinner that same night. When fire got ready, the cannibals brought the poor Armenian to the public eating place, feet and hands tied to the big single barbeque rod, ready to be roasted for g...

I love this joke and need help not making it bigoted. "Why don't they have ice in Poland?"

The lady with the recipe died.


Anyway I think this is hilarious although certainly disparaging to Polacks is there a way to restructure this so I'm not making fun of any particular culture or ethnicity? Thanks!

Nguyen, who saw by touch. It's original, I swear!

Did you hear about the blind Thai man who was able to tell what race people were by touch? It's true! Just by feeling their hand, old man Nguyen could tell you if somebody was European, African, Polynesian, or American. He was best at Asian countries, just by practice, and could even tell what count...

Two men are playing chess in Australia

One guy asks "What's your ethnicity?"

As he knocks over the king, the other guy responds "Czech, mate"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Desert Deployment Story [OC] [Long]

When I was deployed to middle east there were these Asian or Arabic guys who made food and cleaned out the port-a-johns and things like that. (I can’t tell what ethnicity they were because I’m from the Midwest and I don’t meet anyone who isn’t white or Latin-American or Vietnamese.)

Anyway o...

Scientists develop the world's most intelligent supercomputer.

After years of hard work an army of scientists, programers and mathematicians have succeeded in developing the world's most intelligent supercomputer. This computer, with enough time can answer any question. The scientists go about asking it questions which significantly impact the world. Many quest...

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