The last thing my grandfather told me was “Quarts! Litres! Gallons!”

That spoke volumes.

What's grey and comes in quarts?

An Elephant

The blonde was heading out to the grocery store...

...when her roommate said, "Hey, buy a quart of orange juice. And if they have eggs, get a dozen."

Half an hour later the blonde came in the door carrying four cartons of juice. "There's eight more in the car," she said.

"Why in the world did you buy 12 quarts??" asked her roommate.<...

Q: Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?

A: They can't fit 8 quarts of water in that tiny little packet.

Last night I bought my friend a lifetime supply of Peach Ice Cream

He has cancer, in Hospice, and the Doctors have given him two weeks tops.

Edit: Bit of a story to this. My friend is having trouble eating so I asked if I could get him anything. He mentioned that he really wants some Peach Ice Cream, but he knows it's out of season. So I went to one of those...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old farmer is sitting on his porch...

when a young man pulls up in a car and says, "Excuse me, sir. I notice you have milkweed growing in your field, may I get some milk?" The old fellow chuckles to himself and says "You can't get milk from milkweed young man." The young man says, "I think I can sir, if you'll let me try." The farmer...

Inspired by a recent ELI5: "Why is milk measured in gallons and soda in litres", I present this oldie...

Q: What comes in quarts?

.

.


A: Elephants

The cow, the ant, and the douchebag

A cow, an ant and a douchebag are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.

The cow said, “I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that’s why I am the greatest!”

The ant said, “I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that’s why I am th...

Why can't you purchase minerals by the gallon?

They only come in quarts(z)

The three holes

So a straggler is making his way across the land when he comes across a farm. Needing a place to sleep, he begs the farmer to let him stay the night. The farmer agrees, and tells him to bunk up in the barn out back.

In the barn, the straggler meets another man who is staying in the barn. He ...

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