UPJOKE
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Puppets Jokes

Free to a good home. Sooty, Sweep and Sue glove puppets.

No cash wanted, I just want to get them off my hands.

Puppet show

A puppeteer walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Say, who here would like to see a puppet show, minus the puppets?" he asks the people in the room. "Let's see a show of hands!"

What do sock puppets eat?

Finger foods

I'm giving away a couple of puppets, if anyone is interested

No strings attached.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Number one reason not to have sex with puppets?

... there's always strings attached.

(I know, I'm sorry, I'll see myself out, bye now)

So I bought Master of Puppets today

I noticed there was a song missing. When I asked the store clerk later about it, he said "Battery not included".

What do choir boys and puppets have in common?

They both know what it's like to be felt...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A black guy, white guy, asian guy and hand puppet are sitting in a bar...

The black guy says, "You know the thing about dating black girls? They're crazy in bed, but you can never trust them around other guys."

The white guy says, "White girls are cute, but they're always spoiled and high-maintenance."

The asian guy says, "Asian girls are intelligent, but th...

I'm surprised Metallica hasn't been on Sesame Street,

After all they are the Master of Puppets.

What is the difference between James Hetfield and Paula White?

One is a master of puppets, the other is a pastor of muppets.

Do you know who really likes to get fisted?

Hand puppets!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes (5/19)

Good evening, folks! It is once again time to relay the jokes.

First up, if you're not following this story, you're missing out. The IRS scandal continues to get stickier. According to a White House insider, President Obama learned about the IRS scandal by watching TV news. As shocking as tha...

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