I saw that police were looking for a gravedigging corpse stealer. The other day, I saw a man offering people inanimate bodies for free.

It was kind of a dead giveaway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend is addicted to having sex with inanimate objects, and we haven’t seen him in a while.

He always has stuff to do.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate the myth that men will fuck anything with a heartbeat...

I've fucked inanimate objects too!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend is sexually attracted to inanimate objects, and we rarely get to see him nowadays.

He always has stuff to do.

A man walks in a bar and orders a beer to drink...

Everyone looked at him like he was crazy for talking to an inanimate object.

My wife said she would leave me if I kept pointing at inanimate objects...

I said “there’s the door”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend, who likes to have sex with inanimate objects, hasn't been around in a while...

I heard he's finally settled down with that one nightstand

Stop saying no to drugs

You talking to inanimate objects is the reason why your doctor prescribed them to you in the first place.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I quizzed my one of my friends on what inanimate objects you can have sex with.

Turns out, he knew a fucking thing or two about fucking a thing or two.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man walks into a lamp post

"Ouch!" the lamp post shrieked. "that was hella painful"

Appalled by what he heard, the young man went all crazy and started running down the streets, where he saw road crossing chickens, stupid blondes, fatherless black kids and an insane number of lawyers, engineers, priests, scientists, do...

50 Cent goes to a small town for a concert and meets the mayor.

The mayor, being a fan and trying to be casual, offers to show him around town. Before long, he realizes that 50 cent seems to be a little off, because he is asking the mayor to identify inanimate objects. He points to a sewer, and the mayor says, "Sewer." He points to a streetlight, and the mayor p...

What's the difference between a duck and a curling iron?

A duck is a carbon-based life form while a curling iron is an inanimate appliance

Why cant you suprise a snow man?

Because its an inanimate object.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes for April

(didn't post the last batch, so here's all of the recent ones)

4/28
Los Angeles police are looking for a vandal that spraypainted a police horse. The horse didn’t get a good look at the suspect because it was dark, and because the horse has no idea that it’s a cop.

Billionaire Richa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Signs...

The following are all signs that you are a drunk. They include, but are not limited to...

- You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

- You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

- Your job interferes with your drinking.

- Your doctor finds traces...

What's The Difference Between a Redditor and a Calender?

A Redditor is a living breathing human being, and a Calender is an inanimate object.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

red hot chili peppers joke (original)

So Anthony Kiedis is hanging out at Flea's house. Flea says he's having trouble hooking up his VCR to his TV and he asks Anthony to take a look at it, to see if he can find the problem.

Anthony gets up and takes a look behind the TV at the wires and cables and whatnot.

"I think the pr...

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