Why did the proctologist Covid-denier take up ventriloquism?
He got tired of talking out of his own ass.
Ventriloquist: yeah I do ventriloquism
Me: how good are you?
Me: the best
The world champion in ventriloquism was murdered yesterday.
His scream was heard a mile away.
TIL When Steve Martin was 20 he had a ventriloquism act. The manager of a club where he performed had a tip for him.
"You have to hold the dummy closer to the mic."
From Steve Martin's interview on Seth Meyers' show.
[At an autopsy] Doctor 1: You know, I have been practicing my ventriloquism.
Doctor 2: Now is definitely not a good time.
Corpse: Aw, come on!
A farmer down the street said he'd been practicing ventriloquism
Turns out he was just talking out of his ass
I tried ventriloquism once but everyone thought I was crazy.
Possibly because I forgot to bring my dummy.
Teacher: Does anyone know how ventriloquism works?
Teacher: Put your hand up before you speak!
My mother broke down crying when I gave the eulogy at my sister's funeral
I didn't think my ventriloquism was *that* bad
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The incredible trainer
It was a busy day at the bar. A lot of costumers were enjoying their breakfast. Until the door slammed open. A shady trench coat with an almost as shady wearer appeared in the doorframe, a big bulge in both pockets. He approached the counter, as silent as the entire bar, exchanging glares with ...
One thing got a lot easier during this pandemic
How do women scare gynecologists?
They study ventriloquism
Returning to work, a colleague asks me, "Pick up any new hobbies while stuck at home?"
"Yeah," I reply through my mask, "I took up ventriloquism. I'm pretty good; notice how you can't see my lips moving."
I've just seen the most confusing book...
Ventriloquism for Dummies
What book did the puppet read to get better at his craft?
Ventriloquism for Dummies!
A couple on the first date.
She: What are your hobbies?
He (gets a stuffed hamster out of his pocket): Taxidermy.
Hamster: And ventriloquism!