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Ventriloquism Jokes

The teacher asked the class: "Does anyone know how ventriloquism works?"

"Me!" I said. "I do, I do!"

"Put your hand up before you speak."

I said, "Exactly."

Do you know why women are good at ventriloquism?

Because they have two sets of lips.

The world champion in ventriloquism was murdered yesterday.

His scream was heard a mile away.

Ventriloquist: yeah I do ventriloquism

Me: how good are you?

Me: the best

Me: wtf

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the proctologist Covid-denier take up ventriloquism?

He got tired of talking out of his own ass.

I tried ventriloquism once but everyone thought I was crazy.

Possibly because I forgot to bring my dummy.

[At an autopsy] Doctor 1: You know, I have been practicing my ventriloquism.

Doctor 2: Now is definitely not a good time.

Corpse: Aw, come on!

A farmer down the street said he'd been practicing ventriloquism

Turns out he was just talking out of his ass

If I ever write a on how to become a ventriloquist, I would title it:

Ventriloquism for dummies.


Credit to u/Mezz7778

TIL When Steve Martin was 20 he had a ventriloquism act. The manager of a club where he performed had a tip for him.

"You have to hold the dummy closer to the mic."

From Steve Martin's interview on Seth Meyers' show.

I've just seen the most confusing book...

Ventriloquism for Dummies

One thing got a lot easier during this pandemic

ventriloquism.

How do women scare gynecologists?

They study ventriloquism

There was a ventriloquist traveling in the countryside

He performed at county fairs and would go from town to town in his old van. One day while in the middle of nowhere, his car broke down miles away from the nearest town. He started walking to the town to see if he could get help with his car.

Along the road came a farmer riding a buggy pulled...

Returning to work, a colleague asks me, "Pick up any new hobbies while stuck at home?"

"Yeah," I reply through my mask, "I took up ventriloquism. I'm pretty good; notice how you can't see my lips moving."

A couple on the first date.

She: What are your hobbies?

He (gets a stuffed hamster out of his pocket): Taxidermy.

Hamster: And ventriloquism!

I've always been a good learner

Right now, I'm teaching myself ventriloquism, which speaks for itself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The incredible trainer

It was a busy day at the bar. A lot of costumers were enjoying their breakfast. Until the door slammed open.
A shady trench coat with an almost as shady wearer appeared in the doorframe, a big bulge in both pockets. He approached the counter, as silent as the entire bar, exchanging glares with ...

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