UPJOKE
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How does Big Shaq compile his software?

From raw source.

I've compiled my Dad Joke Insults and archived them.

I call it the "Dad Abase."

Hey girl, are you a Java compiler?

Because when I proposed a Date, you said I wasn't your type.

I've compiled a list of the top 10 click bait articles on the internet

Number 7 will shock you

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

The Smiths were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and their descendants included senators and Wall Street wizards.

They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren.
They hired a fine author.
Only one problem arose, how to handle great-uncle George, the criminal, who was executed in the electric chair.
The author said he could handle the story tactfully.
The book...

Excorcising an evil computer be like...

The power of Christ compiles you!

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPILES YOU!

To make a better Internet, I compiled a list of scams and manipulation techniques in order to raise awareness in the most gullible users.

Number 27 will make you cringe

I have compiled a list of the 10 worst things about my ADHD.

1.

I just compiled my new app, its named "Politics".

It's corrupted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A love story

A Love Story


Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

I compiled my program and it ran perfectly...

but now I'll have to chase it.

This is a little self-indulgent, but I'm a high school teacher and I just compiled some one-liners from the past year or so

[They can be found here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XWPHTS7bAcbKV5GsL3Vhx7gUmm0DnFr-aOutUtV8LRM/edit?usp=sharing)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After years of being a comedian I compiled a bunch of my favorite jokes. The first six are great but the last one is fucking gold.

1. Great

2. Great

3. Great

4. Great

5. Great

6. Great

7. Fucking Gold

I've compiled a list of famous athletes who have spent time in prison.

It's a pros and cons list.

I've compiled my bucket list.

I've compiled my bucket list.
4 drumsticks, 4 thighs, original recipe, 2 individual mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits.

99 little bugs in the code...

99 bugs in the code. Fix one bug, compile it down. 167 little bugs in the code....sigh.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A princess wanted to get married...

Deep in the German forests, there was a huge castle. It housed the king, his beautiful daughter and some servants. One day, the princess decided that she wanted to get married to a man. When she confronted her father and told him about her decision, he got very displeased and denied her request. Aft...

A wife got this letter from Walmart.

Dear Mrs. Samples:

Over the past six months, your husband, Royse Samples has been causing quite a commotion in our Lawton store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and, as a result, will ban your entire family from shopping in any of our stores if even one more incident occurs. We have ...

Sunbathing...

A man was sunbathing naked, when a little girl came along. He quickly covered himself with a hat and the girl asked him "What's under the hat?" The man said "It's my little bird, but he's shy so move along." The girl compile and moved along while the man went to sleep. He later woke up in a hospital...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inception joke

A taxi driver picks up a girl from a club and has to take her home. As the ride was quite long he asks her if she wants to hear a joke. She says yes and he starts:

" One day God sent Saint Peter down to Earth to perform a statistic of how many girls between 15 and 25 years old are still virgi...

Pun researchers

Psychologists interested in humor wanted to know more about how people respond to puns, specifically what kinds of puns make people laugh. The compiled a list of ten representative puns, and showed them to a group of 100 people to see which of the puns would make those people laugh, and discovered t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old enough to serve, not old enough to be served: the Army and Alcohol

There was a thread a while back where a pun thread took off; it was about the moral hypocrisy of being allowed to put your life at risk fighting in war, while simultaneously not being allowed to drink alcohol.

While I detest most pun threads, this one seemed entertaining to me for some reason...

The only joke I can ever remember.

There's a mental hospital and every weekend the patients are allowed to go home and visit their families if they are able to properly answer a question by the gate steward at the gate. One day, a man approaches the gate steward with a carrot on a piece of string.

"Morning Harvey, are you read...

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