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Inspiration Jokes

Helen Keller was truly an inspiration,

She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama

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hard inspiration

life is a dick sometimes, but when it's got you on the floor locked up giving it to you hard you just gotta grab life by the balls and say "I'm gonna ride this out till the end"

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Did you hear about that rare porn movie that has been hailed as an inspirational timeless classic?

They said it would inspire people for generations to come.

Heinrich, Beethoven's manservant, one day said to him "Master, where do you get your inspiration from?"

"Why, from you of course, Heinrich!" Beethoven replied.

"From me?" retorted Heinrich. "A genius like you, inspired by a clod like me? Oh, that's funny...

"Hah-hah-hah-*haahh*! Hah-hah-hah-*haahh*!"

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Never look up to birds for inspiration

cause they’re most likely to shit on you, and your ideas.

My grandad is a real inspiration to get healthy, he starting running a mile a day when he was 65....

Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is

Trump is such an inspiration to so many people.

He proves that you can become president even if you have an IQ of 70 or less.

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

Im an inspiration

I rebuilt chernobyl with my own 3 hands

I find mute vocalists to be the most inspirational people

They truly are unsung heroes

Reddit is an inspiration on how to be eco friendly

Considering that 90% of content is recycled

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I found the real life inspiration for the island from Fortnite!

The Virgin Islands

I could never be Prime Minister. Imagine the thousands of people below you, looking to you for inspiration.





It's like being a great grandfather in a Muslim family

Teachers can be inspirational...

My teacher told me that I marched to the tune of a different drummer..

...

Then he kicked me out of Band.

My friend has a really inspirational story.

He used to be a cop, but after a while the job really got to him. He was an alcoholic for a long time, and a particular thing for strong, dark beers.

Eventually though, my friend decided to make a change. He went to therapy, quit drinking, and he even quit his job to pursue his real passion....

My best friend’s marriage is such an inspiration.

A reminder that there are worse things in life than dying alone.

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I got an inspirational quote tattooed on my dick...

But women were like, TL;DR!

Amy Winehouse has become a real inspiration for me

She's going on 6 years sober now.

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i watch inspiration

Lester is struggling through a bus station with two huge and
obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and
asks "Have you got the time?"

Lester sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist.
"It's a quarter to six," he says.

"Hey, that's a pretty ...

My Gramps just passed away. This was his favorite joke to tell.

*Sorry for the meta of this, I'm still reeling a little. I post two or three (or ten--sorry for breaking rules) jokes on this sub every day. A lot of them are simply awful, but they're all original, and my Gramps was a huge inspiration for me becoming a comedy "writer." But this is an old joke, and ...

How does Lil Wayne get inspiration for his new music?

He listens to his old music.

I've always wondered about the inspiration for the band name Jefferson Airplane

but I think we all know it's a historical reference by now.

a nice Italian couple . . .

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husbands'
marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was
approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and
share some insight into how he had managed to stay married...

Tall people don't need to be inspirational

Everyone already looks up to them.

I dreamed this joke

Seems quite strange, but in my dream I came up with this joke, and upon waking it actually makes sense as a joke to my great surprise. Usually when you have flashes of inspiration in a dream you wake up and realise it made absolutely zero sense.

Here's the joke.

Two horses were best ...

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Every time I see someone posting lyrics of inspirational songs on social media, I get really pissed off.

But I will survive.

Donald Trump is an inspiration to all new College graduates.

He is in the final interview rounds of a job he has zero experience for.

A man is looking for inspiration,...

...and decides to open up his Bible to a random passage. He found the passage in which Judas hung himself. "Well, that's no good," the man said to himself, "I'll try again." He then turned to a passage that read, "Go and do likewise."

Whenever I wake with a terrible hangover, I proudly invoke the inspirational last words of the philosopher Socrates who died saying:

"What the hell did I drink?"

My grandmother is an inspiration! At 84 years old she went to medical school.

She's a cadaver.

I hope Terry Fox's cross country treks in the Marathon of Hope was an inspiration to all

not to skip-leg day.

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A young Native American asks a tribal elder

A young Native American asks a tribal elder: "How do our people come up with the names for newborn babies?"

"Well," the elder replies, "we take inspiration from nature to come up with names. For example, do you see the stream over there? If a baby were to be born right now, we might call him ...

Inspirational quotes to live by until I got divorced

# Here's the original 7 quotes to live by:

1. Make peace with your past, so it won't disturb your future.
2. What other people think of you is none of your business.
3. The only person in charge of your happiness is you.
4. Don't compare your life to others. Comparison is the thief o...

A general visits an army hospital to check on the conditions and inspire the troops.

Its WWIII, trench warfare is living hell, and the men could really use some inspiration. The general starts talking to the wounded soldiers.

He goes up to the first man and says: “What brings you in here son?” The soldier replies: “sir, I got dysentery in the trenches, something awful.” The g...

I went to an I.T.-themed restaurant the other day...

I went to an I.T.-themed restaurant the other day. It had motherboards on the walls, the placemats looked like keyboards, the cutlery had USB sticks for handles, you get the idea. But the waitstaff seemed sad. Really, really sad. The host was sighing as we walked to my table – he was a web developer...

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Picasso, Caravaggio, and Warhol meet in Hell.

They ask for an appointment with god to ask him why they went to hell despite being great artists who gave so much to the world.

God says, "Caravaggio, you were a street gang bully and a literal murderer. Of course you go to hell."

"What about me?" Picasso says.

"Picasso, you tr...

Most Contradictory Inspirational Quote Ever?

"Follow Your Dreams."

-Freddy Kreuger, 2016

I was watching the paraolympics and it was so inspirational

My little boy turns around to me and says "daddy, when i grow up, i want to be disabled!"

What did the incel say, when he had a sudden bout of inspiration to change his outlook on life and start approaching attractive women, in a confident manner?

Begone,thought!

A pastor discovered his bicycle had been stolen

He decided to use it as inspiration for that week’s sermon, and began writing on the Ten Commandments, especially “thou shalt not steal”


Then he got to “thou shalt not commit adultery” and remembered where he left his bike.

Why did the artist suffocate to death?

Lack of inspiration.

That priest from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was actually a really inspirational guy.

He touched so many hearts.

When the singer from DragonForce came down with a cold...

He was hit with inspiration for their new hit song.

Through the Fire and Phlegm

It's a well known fact that humorists are more intelligent than the run of the mill average joe on the street. It's also a well known fact that it's not always a good idea to flaunt those extra smarts.

One day, the royal court was lounging around in a bored state. Without thinking, the jester suddenly voiced an opinion, "You know, there are times when the apology for an offense is worse than the original action."

The king immediately glowers and says, "If you can't prove that, Jester, I thi...

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