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Barium Jokes

Yttrium-barium-copper oxide walks into a bar

The bartender tells him, "We don't serve superconductors here."

He leaves without resistance.

Why are helium, curium, and barium the three main medical elements?

If you can't curium or helium, you barium!

Why do chemists call Helium, Curium, and Barium 'the medical elements'?

Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'barium'!

Why does cesium decay into barium and not the other way around?

Because once you barium you can’t cesium anymore!

Chemistry teacher: “What is barium?”

Student: “It’s what you do after you killum.”

A merchant told another "I'll trade you a barium atom and two sodiums for that weight measuring device."

"BaNaNa for scale?"

What's the only good outcome of a barium swallow procedure?

All that G*rey Poupon.*

A world renowned chemist dies.

A world renowned chemist dies. His will states that he wishes for all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be included with his body. They go to his wife and ask "Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?
To which she replies
"No, just Barium"

"I threw my neighbor into a nuclear reactor and now he's dead. What should I do?!"

"Barium"

A doctor is operating on a patient.

He says to his assistant: “Helium please” so the assistant wheels over a tank of helium.
The doctor proceeds to put a mask on the patient so he can inhale the gas, but the patient doesn’t respond to the treatment.

The doctor turns to his assistant again. “Curium please”. And the assistant...

What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium

Which element should they make caskets out of?

Barium

what do chemists’ dogs do with their bones?

they barium!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.

The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Chemistry puns Im in my element.

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Ion-estly cant think of...

A chemist walks into a bar...

He says to the bartender, "Tonight all drinks are on me!"

The bartender says to him, "you must've had a good day today, what happened?"

"I finally found a way to make a stable molecule from a barium atom, two sodium atoms, and a sulfur atom!" the chemist proudly replies.

"Wow," ...

Let's take all these bad chemistry jokes

and barium

What do you do with a sick chemist?

First you try helium,then try curium,but if that doesn't work.You barium

Iodine accidentally killed Xenon

Panicking, it asked its friend Cesium what to do with the body, to which Cesium responded:

“Barium”

Doctor: I'd give him Lithium for his severe depression.

If that doesn't work, Barium.

Chemistry joke thread?

I'll start:
I was at -273.15°C one time. It was OK.
What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium

I'm sorry guys there really are no good chemistry jokes: all the good ones argon.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

I have no idear.

What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium

Anyone who has any simple, stupid jokes like these please put them in the comments. :) I just started a new job and stupid little jokes are perfect for breaking the ice.

What's a banana made of?

One part barium, two parts sodium.

Carbon and Helium were having a conversation.

Carbon: “ And then I said, Barium!”

Osmium walks into the room.

“What’s so funny guys?”

Carbon whispers to Helium: “Don’t tell him. He’s too dense to get it.”

What is the chemical composition of banana?

Barium disodium

A Doctor and A Chemist

A doctor and a chemist are chatting in a hospital. The doctor talks about how he's having trouble with a patient, to which the chemist replies,"Well, if you can't Curium and you can't Helium, then you might as well Barium."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chemistry Puns

What do you do with a dying chemist? If you can't helium, you might as well barium. That joke was quite the knee-slapper, wasn't it. I certainly slapped my neon that one. It was just so-dium funny. Why do chemists like high altitudes? The views arsenic. If you're not laughing yet, don't worry. I'm o...

What does the chemistry teacher like to do with his dead bodies after he kills 'em?

Barium.

Gentlemen...BEHOLD! Puns.

What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!!

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Acr...

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