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Popping Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the pet shop and the owner said he had a talking centipede for sale.

I said ‘no way, centipedes don’t talk.’
The owner promised me it was a talking centipede so I purchased it and took it home with me.
A little later in that evening I went up to its tank and said ‘alright mate, I’m just popping down the pub if you fancy a few pints?’ The centipede said nothing...

My wife is into these pimple popping videos on YouTube.

She's completely abcessed.

A beautiful woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

The woman seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, runni...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This damn button keeps popping off my keyboard...

I swear I am about to lose fucking Ctrl.

Date night with my wife and as she's reading the menu she asks, "Is anything popping out at you?"

I said, "I don't think it's that kind of book."

My computer made a popping sound today...

...guess that's what happens when the Kernel overheats.

I’ve always felt that jokes on this sub are best described by r/popping

The real satisfaction comes from what lies beneath

Eye Poppingly Funny

I was at a local bar when a woman at a table a few feet away from me sneezed and her glass eye came out and I caught it. I handed it back to her and she popped it in and said thank you. She was a beautiful woman. Gorgeous face stunning body and a beautiful smile to boot. The woman of my dreams righ...

Recently became a dad and now these are popping in my head: What is it called when you are made fun of in a dream?

Sleep Deprecation

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