Come Out Jokes - 40 Hilarious Come Out Jokes

How did the trans guy come out to his parents?

“There’s something that I really need to get off of my chest”

A lawyer calls up a plumber to come out to his house...

The plumber takes a look and says, OK, I can fix it today, and it will be $800.

The lawyer raises an eyebrow and asks, how long will it take? The plumber responds, "well, I need about an hour round trip to the supply house for a part, and then it should take me about an hour for the repair"<...

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?

In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man decided it was time to come out to his family.

He was worried most about his grandmother, so he approached her in the kitchen.

"Grandma, I, uh, have to tell you something."

"Yes, sweety?"

"I, uh, I'm gay."

"Gay?" His heart stopped. "Does that mean you put men's things in your mouth?"

"Grandma!!!!"

"Wel...

My wife shouted upstairs, "the sun's just come out."

My wife shouted upstairs, "the sun's just come out." I thought great, threw on some shorts and flip flops and shot down the stairs. I was rather shocked when I got down to find our lad holding hands with his mate Michael.

"I'm going to punch your house until you come out and talk to me!"

~ Guy who invented 'knocking'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a skidmark that won't come out?

Undie Turd.

I am dreading the time when Mr. Musk's scandal come out.

I just know Elon-gate will keep stretching on.

What did the person who was about to come out as non-binary say?

“I’m almost they’re”

How did the analog computer come out to their parents?

"Mom, Dad, I'm non-binary."

Just waiting for Steve Harvey to come out and say it's actually Clinton

any second now

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European!

My horse will only come out of its stable when it gets dark

It's becoming a night mare.

What's the saddest thing to come out of Russia at Christmas?

Napoleon.

I courteously opened the door for a woman to come out, but she got really mad

Apparently there is some sort of changing-room exemption, and now I'm banned from Forever 21.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If gays come out of the closet, where do straights come out of?

Compton

President Zelinski has come out with a plan to get the Russian Army out of Ukraine in 24 hours

It’s called operation “give them a full tank of gas”

My wife said to come out of the closet already...

I said stop buying so many cute dresses then.

The “A” went to the bathroom and come out an “E”.

It must have had a vowel movement.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Police man: come out with your hands up!

Guy: *sticks hands up* I’m gay!

A Grandfather tells his Grandson, "When I was a boy, you could go into a store with change in your pocket, and come out with a loaf of bread, lunch meat, and a bottle of milk.

The Grandson replies, " You can't do that anymore Grandpa, there's too many cameras now".

I grew worried when my programmer wife hadn't come out of her office all day.

I entered found her hunched over her laptop. "Honey, everything okay?"

"I'm working on a production defect!" she replied, not looking away from her screen.

"I know how those are!" I sympathized, and left her to concentrate.

An hour later she came downstairs in tears, flushed. Sh...

Why wouldn't the jelly come out of the jar?

It was jammed.

What goes in mouth dry and hard and come out soft and sticky?

Chewing gum

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently learned how to swallow a rope and have it come out the other end tied up in a bow.

I shit you knot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dad: Son, come out to the car.

Son: Car, I’m gay.

Dad: *tears up*

When I was a kid 20 years ago, you could go to a convenience store with $5 and come out with what seemed like half of it.

Today you can't, because there are cameras.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother's come out as gay!

I'm pretty sure it's a phase, he's just not thinking straight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How often does a poo come out in one piece?

About one turd of the time.

A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you.”

The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. “Jesus is watching you.” Quite confused, the thief searches the house and ...

A friend of mine called me and said, “Come out tonight, and I’ll show you a good time.”

Later, he ran the 100 metres in less than 12 seconds.

What kind of bees come out at Halloween?

Boo bees

If you ate a ShamWow what would come out?

Shampoo

I have come out as transfinancial

I am a rich person born into a poor person's body.

I asked my dyslexic friend if his brother has come out of the closet yet, and apparently he has

He texted me he's in daniel.

I decided to come out as non-binary

And changed my name to '2'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My son adorably can't pronounce Ks and they always come out as Ts...

... it was all cute until he asked my neighbour if he could "stroke her titties".

Now that it's pride month, I finally have the courage to come out as Bi

All bi-myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sherlock is waiting for Watson to come out of the bathroom.

Trying to pass the time, he decides to work out what is taking Watson so long. He makes a list of all the variables, and calculates the probability of each one. Finally, he comes to a conclusion.

"Are you constipated, Watson?"

"No shit, Sherlock!"

Mrs. Jones, can Tommy come out and play?

Now Billy you know Tommy doesn’t have arm or legs.

I know. We want to use him as second base.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.