Alternative nursery rhymes

Mary had a little lamb, her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, between two chunks of bread.

What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre

Rhyme Time.

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor was surprised.
Old McDonald had a farm, the poor man nearly died.

What do you call an onion that likes to rhyme?

A Rapscallion!

What rhymes with Orange

No it doesn’t

I’m not sure if “Humpty Dumpty” is a good nursery rhyme or not...

... I’m kinda on the fence about it.

My buddy said, "What rhymes with orange?"

I pondered for a while and thought..."No, it doesn't."

I finally have to admit that my hip-hop is weak and my rhymes are lame...

...so I am forced to hand in my too wack notice.

I was once taught that nothing rhymes with silver...

But to this day, I still don’t think they sound the same.

A poem

A fisher was fishing a bass

The water came up to his knee.



Strange, it rhymed this morning when there was high tide.

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You.

Why I oughta...!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Navy Rhyme

A Navy man, a war hero, attends a lunch at a Ladies’ Patriotic Society. Cucumber sandwiches on crustless bread – he endures it manfully. Then the ladies, who have been at the sherry, ask to hear a Navy rhyme. Ladies, he says, I will accede to your request. But in place of each atrocious word, I will...

People say nothing rhymes with orange.

It seems very strange to me.

Dice. My favorite Dice rhyme: "Jack 'n Jill went up the hill, both wit a buck 'n a quarter..."

... Jill came down wit two fifty

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What Rhymes with “Freudian slips”?

“My mother’s tits”, oh shit I meant to say paper clips

I just got a new cat. I named him Nothing.

Because he's orange and Nothing rhymes with orange.

Now would be a great time for Bustah Rhymes to make public service announcements.

WUHAN!!!! GOT YOU ALL IN CHECK!!!!

What is the one word the rhymes with ‘purple’

No it’s not.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An *explosive* rhyme

There once was a girl named Jill...

Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill...

They found her vagina in South Carolina

And bits of her tits in Brazil.

To rhyme or not to rhyme

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I can't rhyme at all,
Banana

What rhymes with Tortilla?

I'm making a rap.

One monkey says to another monkey, “what rhymes with Banana” and the other monkey says

“No it doesn’t.”

What rhymes with donut

Wow, it actually does!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wrote a rhyme when i was heartbroken in the toilet

“Here i sit broken hearted, i tried to shit but i just farted.”

Fun with rhymes.

If plants wore pants would plants try to dance? If plants tried to dance would plants have a chance if plants wore pants and you took a glance? If plants wore pants would they joust with a lance? If plants had a lance would the blow hit or glance? If plants were advanced and wore pants and danced th...

What’s Busta Rhymes’ favorite flight maneuver?

Yaw Yaw Yaw Yaw Yaw,
Yaw Yaw Yaw Yaw Yaw!

What's black and rhymes with Eazy E?

Ice Cube

People always tell me my rhymes don't make sense.

And they're absolutely right. Pretense.

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