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Rhyme Jokes

Alternative nursery rhymes

Mary had a little lamb, her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, between two chunks of bread.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr Dre

A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE: (the Washington Post competition)

I'll go first... I love you and the smell of your hair,Please don't be home when I get there.


EDIT- I have to say, the rhymes and creativity; you all are incredible, Now I have to wonder who's most edible...(no really great job to all)

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You.

Why I oughta...!

What rhymes with “boo” and really stinks?

You

I was once taught that nothing rhymes with silver...

But to this day, I still don’t think they sound the same.

Rhyme Time.

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor was surprised.
Old McDonald had a farm, the poor man nearly died.

My buddy said, "What rhymes with orange?"

I pondered for a while and thought..."No, it doesn't."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An *explosive* rhyme

There once was a girl named Jill...

Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill...

They found her vagina in South Carolina

And bits of her tits in Brazil.

I’m not sure if “Humpty Dumpty” is a good nursery rhyme or not...

... I’m kinda on the fence about it.

What do you call a frightened Roman emperor that speaks rhymes to the beat of music?

Chicken Caesar Wrap

To rhyme or not to rhyme

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I can't rhyme at all,
Banana

What rhymes with Tortilla?

I'm making a rap.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What Rhymes with “Freudian slips”?

“My mother’s tits”, oh shit I meant to say paper clips

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some amended Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you dick...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite nursery rhyme.

Mary had a little watch,

she swallowed it one day.

Then Mary took a laxative

to pass the time away.

Well, time went on and time went on,

and time still wouldn't pass.

So, if you want to know what time it is,

just look up Mary's ^brother ^in ^Omaha. ^H...

What do you call an onion that likes to rhyme?

A Rapscallion!

People say nothing rhymes with orange.

It seems very strange to me.

Fun with rhymes.

If plants wore pants would plants try to dance? If plants tried to dance would plants have a chance if plants wore pants and you took a glance? If plants wore pants would they joust with a lance? If plants had a lance would the blow hit or glance? If plants were advanced and wore pants and danced th...

What rhymes with donut

Wow, it actually does!

“This poem doesn’t rhyme.”

Dude about to make haikus:

“Oh haven’t you heard?”

"Read" rhymes with "lead"

... and "read" rhymes with "lead", but "read" doesn't rhyme with "lead."

Russian Nursery Rhyme

The incy wincy conrade
Was tugging at his chain
About rights of workers
He complain

The secret police
Am get order to restrain
And the incy wincy comrade was never seen again

My favourite Greek nursery rhyme

ϱ ϱ ϱ your boat

It's funny that Schumer and humor rhyme

Cause that is the closest she will ever get to being funny.

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