The class had to write a short, rhyming, two-lines poem as homework.

Lisa stands up and proudly recites :

​

*Yesterday, my Dad and I we went to town*

*And I got a nice blue bike of my own.*

​

"That's a lovely poem, Lisa!" says the teacher.

Now it's Timmy's turn. He stands up and recites theatrically :...

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A poem

A Republican, a hippy and an Alabaman belle,

A Russian, an Australian, two Africans as well,

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman and a Scot,

An Arab and an Indian, some more that I forgot,

Five Mexicans on burro-back, sombreroed for the sun,

Bob-headed anti-vax ...

I dig...

You dig...
We dig...
He digs...
She digs...
They dig...


Now it's not the most beautiful poem but its quite deep.

My poem

Roses are red, Violets are red, actually, I think my garden is on fire...

A Priest was reciting a poem, "Roses are red violets are blue".

My girlfriend is 9 I'm 62.

I'm writing a poem for my son.

What rhymes with "I couldn't be the only disappointment in your mother's life"?

Did you know Tommy Wiseau wrote a poem?

Oh, Haiku.

The Tax Poem

Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.

Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.

Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
Teac...

A poem

Help me, I am trapped!

In a Haiku Factory!

Hurry, before they-

Roses are red, this poem is crass,

Why on earth,
Is my g-spot up my ass?

My analogies are like the world’s best crafted poems

Terrible

A short poem about women's underwear...

> Rose's are red,
Violet's are blue,
>!Heather's are green.!<
~Lee Mack


EDIT: added spoiler for 37% better delivery.

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The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming.

They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".


First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:



Slowly across the desert sand ...

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I read a poem about masturbating and crying simultaneously

It was a tear jerker

What do you call a poem written while climbing a mountain?

A hikeu

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What's the difference between an expert in five line poems and an expert in eating anus?

One will give you a limerick

The other will give your rim a lick.

A little poem

I dig...
You dig...
We dig...
He dig...
She dig...
They dig...

It may not be the best poem, but atleast it´s deep.

It's down to two guys at a job interview.

Both of the men interviewing are equally qualified all the way down to eagle scout so the interviewer has an idea. "The one of you that can give me the better poem ending in Timbuktu gets the job." The first guy stands up and says, "Out across the desert sand went a lonely caravan. Underneath the...

Credit to /u/Poem_for_your_sprog

He sat and sighed beside the road -

His engine's gasket blown.

His car was old and cold and towed.

The man was left alone.

-

'I need to find a place to stay

Until it's fixed,' he spoke -

But as he rose to walk away

Arrived a band of folk.
...

A Poem about Timbuktu

There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.

They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.

The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, desti...

Winner of the National Championship for Poems - Category: "Timbuktu"

Tim and I off hunting went.
Found three girls in a pop up tent.
They were three and we were two.
So I bucked one and,
Tim bucked two.

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It was the finals of a poetry competition

The finalists: An English Professor and A Redneck. The judge says, “Here is your task. Write a 4 line poem that ends with the word Timbuktu”

The English prof goes first on stage. His poem:


Slowly across the desert sand

Ran a dusty caravan

Men in camels, two by two,...

I've written a poem about the sounds made by dogs...

It can only be read if you scan it first.

It's a bark ode.

“This poem doesn’t rhyme.”

Dude about to make haikus:

“Oh haven’t you heard?”

I wrote a poem about communism for my English class

I had to share it with everyone

Dog Poem

I am a dog And you are a flower. I lift my leg up And give you a shower.

Autocorrect Inspired Poem

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

Haiku na Mattatta

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Oxymoronic Poem!

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,

I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;

The Admission is free, so pay at the door,

Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor

One bright day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight;

Back to back they...

A man wrote a poem about a calendar to seduce a girl.

He was later charged with date rap.

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A poem I read to my gf while proposing

Roses are Red

Today is the Day

Plot Twist

I'm Gay

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There's a poem contest in South Carolina.

It's down to two contestants...one Harvard grad and one old redneck from the Low Country. They each have 5 minutes to come up with a poem, but they have to use the word "Timbuktu" in the poem to win. The Harvard grad goes first.

"Swiftly cross the desert sands,
Strode a lonely caravan. ...

High Quality Poem

Error 404

Your Haiku could not be found

Try again later

The Garden of Eden [Poem]

In the Garden of Eden, as everyone knows,

Lives Adam and Eve without any clothes.

In this garden were two little leaves.

One covered Adam and one covered Eve.

As the story goes on, never the less to say,

Along came the wind and blew the leaves away.

At the s...

A Valentines Poem

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Whitney Houston is dead
and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou

what do you call a good poem about clay?

true pottery

Timbuktu

From my 80 year old Granddad:

Two finalists in a contest, One a college grad and one a high school drop out, were to write a poem in 3 minutes. The only requirement was that it ended in "Timbuktu". The college grad wrote his and told it to the judges;

Slowly across the desert sand,
...

A poem for Valentine's Day

Love is the fart of every heart, for when held in it pains the host, but when released pains others most.

A poem

Roses are red,
Asses are fat,
Cesh me outside,
How bout dat.

It's a little known fact that William Shakespeare and Lord Byron died on the same day.

When they met Saint Peter at the pearly gates, he said, "We are honored to receive two incredibly distinguished poets on the same day! Unfortunately we don't have room for both of you to enter today, so we're going to have to have a little contest. I'm going to say a word, and both of you have to ma...

I also wrote a poem, too, too

I feel.

You feel.

He feels.

She feels.

They feel.

We feel.

I know I'm not a great poet, but I've been told this is very touching.

A poem by Stevie Wonder

Roses are black
Violets are black
Everything is black
I can't see.

I present to you the world's shortest poem, entitled "Fleas".

Adam had'em.

My Poem to you

Roses are 0xff0000
Violets are 0x0000ff
return(SUCCESS);

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Prayers

A WOMAN'S POEM:


Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks..
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when ...

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Best Love Poem Ever? Worked For Me.

Roses are red,

Nuts are brown,

Mouths are wide open

It's the best in town

Girls really love it,

It isn't a sin

So when it goes stiff,

Stick it in.

It goes in dry and comes out wet.

The longer its in the stronger it gets.

...

What do you call part of a poem written by a Seinfeld character?

A George Costanza.

Preparing my wedding vows in the form of a poem...

What rhymes with "the way you shake that ass?"

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Thor hasn't had sex in a while...

It's been a long time. Thor decides he needs to get off.

And human chicks are hot.

So he visits Earth. Goes to a bar, meets a girl. With his God of Thunder good looks, his adventurous and supernatural stories, and the confidence of, well, an actual deity, she falls for him instantly....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The seven wise men poem (nsfw)

7 wise men with knowledge so fine,
They created a pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, smart with wit,
by using a knife he gave it a slit.

Second was a carpenter strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel he gave it a hole.

Third was a tailor tall and thin,
wi...

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Poetry Competition

The two finalists at the annual poetry competition were an Ivy League college graduate and a redneck. The final stage of the competition was to write a rhyming poem using the word *Timbuktu.* The college graduate stands up to the microphone and starts.

>A desert caravan astray beneath a du...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a ton of people go in for a job interview and the final two prospects are...[racist?][dirty]

...a Harvard grad, and a Polak.

Leaning toward no particular preference, the hiring manager decides to put them to a test. "You both have 30 minutes to write a poem," he says. "But the catch, is that it has to end in Timbuktu. The best poem gets the job." Both men accept the instructions and ...

I ALSO wrote a poem!

''I do drugs, you do drugs, we do drugs, they do drugs''
Now, I know it's not the best, but it's pretty dope.

the ultimate pick up poem as told by my drunk father

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I've got a gun,
Get in the van

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poetry Contest

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the conte...

There is a game show where you have to make up short poems containing a special word

There is a game show where you have to make up short poems containing a special word within one minute.

In the final show there are only two people left: A rabby from New York and a farmer from New Zealand. They get the word "Timbouktou".

The rabby is first. He starts: "I was a rabby ...

A poem for r/Jokes

"Roses are grey.

Violets are grey.

I am a dog."

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My...

Gianna, a beautiful woman, was in the midst of a love triangle with two best friends, Nathan and Joel

Obviously this caused tension between the besties, and as such also troubled Gianna - she liked each one equally.

So on the 11th of February, she spoke to the two lovestruck rivals and challenged them.

"On Valentine's Day, each of you will get me a card - no gift, only a card. The one ...

A bald man walks into a bar...

He approaches the barkeeper and tells him

"I have something in my pocket that I will show you. If you swear you've never seen anything like it before, I'll have free drinks all night"

The barkeeper, in his mid fifties, who has clearly seen a lot in his life, agrees with a nod.

T...

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