A bunch of hippies just overthrew the government, smoked weed, and read a poem.

It was a high coup.

A poem for you guys

I call it Panties at an Old Folks Home.

Rose's are red
Violet's are blue
Beatrice's are green

My chemistry teacher wrote me a heartfelt chemistry poem:

Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, Potassium, Yttrium, Oxygen, Uranium.

There was once a poem contest...

Contestants were supposed to use the word **Timbuktu** in their poem. All contestants gave their best poems but then came along the priest and his poem was

*All along through my life*


*i had no children and had no wife*


*I read the Bible through and through*


*...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A poem (Nsfw)

There once was a gal from Cancun,

Who had a most curious poon.

T'was coarse like a thistle,

But tight as a whistle,

And whilst cumming, could play you a tune.

A wonderful birthday poem

**MARCUS:** Happy birthday, Bob. I have a poem for you.
**BOB:** Cool! Let me hear it!
**MARCUS:** Don’t worry about the past — you can’t change it.
Don’t worry about the future — you can’t predict it.
And don’t worry about the present — I didn’t get you one.

Wanna hear a poem?

I dig.
You dig.
He dig.
She dig.
They dig.
We dig.


It's not much but its pretty deep.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here's a poem I heard from a friend

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Pornhub is down, your Facebook will do

There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.

They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.

The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."

The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.

The old country man then goes, "Tim...

A poem for our times...

It's not the cough that carries you off. It's the coffin they carry you off in.

Know your colors. (Poem)

Roses are red, that part is true.







But Violets are Purple, not fricking blue.

(most likely not original)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sad poem by someone I don’t know

Here I sit broken hearted I tried to poop but only farted then today I took a chance I tried to fart but I pooped my pants

Man 1: This poem is so badly written. I don't even know what it says.

Man 2: That's the verse part of it!

Perfectly spell-checked poem

- I have a spelling checker.
- It came with my PC,
- It plainly marks four my revue,
- Mistakes I cannot sea.
- I've run this poem threw it,
- I'm sure your pleased to no,
- Its letter purfect in it's weigh,
- My checker tolled me sew...

"An Ode to Reddit," a poem by me.

We’ve all seen the joke that’s been goin' 'round Reddit,

The one with lame puns about “spreddit” and “shreddit.”

People assume that we’ll somehow forgeddit,

and then they repost it and act like they seddit.

We—the people—assume that they’ll eddit it,

find the origi...

What’s a stoner’s favorite type of poem?

A haiku.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Valentine’s Day Poem, by Stevie Wonder

Roses are black,
Violets are black,
I can’t see shit,
Fuck.

On a ship, the best poems don’t come from the heart

they come from the head.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just wrote this poem

Everyone gather together

Put aside what you are doing

See this lyric, feel the weather

Take a second for the viewing.

Everyone gather together

In this house we all are one.

No discrimination, son.

Did I say a house we're in?

It's a prostitution...

Timbuktu

This one I got from Playboys joke page in the late 80s.

Two guys with identical education and experience were applying for the same marking position in a company. The hiring manager could not decide which one to give the job offer to, so he calls them both in for a final interview at the sam...

I have the most original idea for a TV show. Contestants will be read a line from a random poem, and they will be asked which author the line belongs to.

I'll name it, 'Whose Line Is It, Anyway?'

I'm a poet and I know it

I dug, you dug, he dug, she dug, we all dug.

It’s not a great poem, but it’s deep.

A mini poem:

Little birdy, flying high,
Drops a present from the sky,
Farmer says, wiping his eye,
Thank the Lord my pigs don't fly!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy and girl had sex poem competition

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."


Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

In which form would the enormous poet always write his poems?

In Iambig Pentameter

The class had to write a short, rhyming, two-lines poem as homework.

Lisa stands up and proudly recites :



*Yesterday, my Dad and I we went to town*

*And I got a nice blue bike of my own.*



"That's a lovely poem, Lisa!" says the teacher.

Now it's Timmy's turn. He stands up and recites theatrically :



*When octob...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The crazy lamp

A doctor visits 3 of his patients in a mental asylum.

He sees patient 1 reading a book and says, "Wow, you're improving."

Patient 1 says, "I'm just reading a book."

He then sees patient 2 writing and says, "Wow, you're improving too."

Patient 2 says, "I'm just writing ...

A beautiful poem indeed

Roses are red
Violet's are blue
I stopped using blizzard
And you should too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Timbuktu

The teacher told the class to make up a poem about Timbuktu, to recite in front of the class.

The first child recited hers:

"When I was lying in my bed

I dreamt of a ship with funnels red

A beautiful ship, its hull was blue

I think it was going to Timbuktu."
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game.

After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa.

The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:

"I was a father all my life,
I had no children...

What would you call a poem written in the honour of a Mathematician?

dy/dx - 3x = 2

What's this?

An ODE (Ordinary Differential Equation)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Morning Poem

I woke early one morning, The  earth lay cool and still. When Suddenly a tiny bird perched upon my window sill, He sang a song so lovely, so carefree and so gay, that slowly all my troubles began to slip away.   He sang of far off places, of laughter and of fun, it seemed this very trilling, bro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Tax Poem

Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.

Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.

Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
Teac...

Shakespeare and Lord Byron at the gates of Heaven

Shakespeare and Lord Byron get to the gates of heaven at the same time but St Peter regrets to confirm that they only have one vacancy left. He decides to let them compete for the one spot in a poem writing competition. He gives the task to include "Timbuktu" in an improvised poem. Lord Byron goes f...

A poem

I dig.

You dig.

It dig.

We dig.

She dig.

They dig.

It’s not a good poem, but it is deep.

(Reposted from r/funny because I did post it there first and do not know if it belongs here better)

A Max Miller Poem

I like the girls who do, I like the girls who don't, I

like the girls who say they will, And then decide they won't.

But the girls I like the most of all, And I know you'll think I'm right,

Are the girls that say they never will, But look as though they might!


...

Poem

I'm gonna take a moment, so sit and reflect.

Gonna sit here and jot down, before I forget.

Take a second to think of all the things I've felt

My feelings are such a crazy thing to examine

Horse man, got a long a face

To look at the steps that can't be traced
...

A poem

Help me, I am trapped!

In a Haiku Factory!

Hurry, before they-

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I read a poem about masturbating and crying simultaneously

It was a tear jerker

My longest Pickup line.(Its actually a poem)

In the Garden of Eden, As everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve, Without any clothes.
In this garden, Were two little leaves,
One covered Adam's, One covered Eve's.
As the story goes on, Never the less to say,
The wind came along, And blew the leaves away. At the sight, Adam did sta...

Roses are red, this poem is crass,

Why on earth,
Is my g-spot up my ass?

A Priest was reciting a poem, "Roses are red violets are blue".

My girlfriend is 9 I'm 62.

Timbuktu

The National poetry Contest had come down to semi-finals between a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were both given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu”

First to recite his poe...

A short poem about women's underwear...

> Rose's are red,
Violet's are blue,
>!Heather's are green.!<
~Lee Mack


EDIT: added spoiler for 37% better delivery.

I'm writing a poem for my son.

What rhymes with "I couldn't be the only disappointment in your mother's life"?

Did you know Tommy Wiseau wrote a poem?

Oh, Haiku.

Morning Love Making

Tyrone asked his work buddy, Robert, one morning, "Man, why you always so damn happy when you come to work everyday?" Robert replied, "That's because I make love to my wife every morning before work."

Amazed, Tyrone asked him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning. "That's ea...

I wrote a poem

I dig, you dig.
He dig, she dig.
We dig.


It isn't a very beautiful, but it's certainly deep

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m so confused

I was writing my wife a sexy love poem and she criticized me for the way I spelled vadgina. She never complained about me putting a D in there before.

A little poem

I dig...
You dig...
We dig...
He dig...
She dig...
They dig...

It may not be the best poem, but atleast it´s deep.

Autocorrect Inspired Poem

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

Haiku na Mattatta

Credit to /u/Poem_for_your_sprog

He sat and sighed beside the road -

His engine's gasket blown.

His car was old and cold and towed.

The man was left alone.

-

'I need to find a place to stay

Until it's fixed,' he spoke -

But as he rose to walk away

Arrived a band of folk.
...

I wrote a poem about communism for my English class

I had to share it with everyone

My analogies are like the world’s best crafted poems

Terrible

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between an expert in five line poems and an expert in eating anus?

One will give you a limerick

The other will give your rim a lick.

A Valentines Poem

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Whitney Houston is dead
and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou

High Quality Poem

Error 404

Your Haiku could not be found

Try again later

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oxymoronic Poem!

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,

I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;

The Admission is free, so pay at the door,

Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor

One bright day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight;

Back to back they...

Dog Poem

I am a dog And you are a flower. I lift my leg up And give you a shower.

I've written a poem about the sounds made by dogs...

It can only be read if you scan it first.

It's a bark ode.

An inspector visits a school in England one day....

One day, an inspector visited a school and asked the teachers how things were going.

He entered a class where an English lesson was in session.

"Very well, looks good", the inspector said. "Teaching's of a high standard, classroom looks good, things seem to be going well."

He th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The children gathered around their father

The first one asked "Why is my name poetry?"

"Because I went on a poetry website to recite a beautiful poem to your mother and then you were conceived"

The second one ask "Why is my name Amazon?"

"I went on that website to order a beautiful diamond ring for you mother. After she...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A poem I read to my gf while proposing

Roses are Red

Today is the Day

Plot Twist

I'm Gay

“This poem doesn’t rhyme.”

Dude about to make haikus:

“Oh haven’t you heard?”

Winner of the National Championship for Poems - Category: "Timbuktu"

Tim and I off hunting went.
Found three girls in a pop up tent.
They were three and we were two.
So I bucked one and,
Tim bucked two.

Once Upon A Time there was a International Poets Contest. All the poets from across the lands came to compete bringing there best original work to compete against their peers. For 40 days and nights they competed eliminating Poet after Poet.

On the 40th day they had narrowed it down to only 2 poets. Both poets read poems back to back for 12 hours, each poem as good as the last. After the 12th hour the judge’s became exhausted and realized that this may never end as both poets were equally amazing. They had to decide a winner and they ha...

A man wrote a poem about a calendar to seduce a girl.

He was later charged with date rap.

Shortest four-line poem I can think of

Not sure where else to post it. If you can read it, it doesn't apply to you.

YYUR
YYUB
URN
YY2ME

A maths professor was struggling to teach his student the first 10 numbers of pi.

So he started singing a song which was meant to teach people about the numbers of pi. The students were intrigued by this mesmerizing little poem, and by the end they had learned the first 10 digits of pi.

Next, the teacher asked each one to write down the first 10 digits onto a sheet of pape...

what do you call a good poem about clay?

true pottery

I also wrote a poem, too, too

I feel.

You feel.

He feels.

She feels.

They feel.

We feel.

I know I'm not a great poet, but I've been told this is very touching.

A poem for Valentine's Day

Love is the fart of every heart, for when held in it pains the host, but when released pains others most.

My Poem to you

Roses are 0xff0000
Violets are 0x0000ff
return(SUCCESS);

A poem

Roses are red,
Asses are fat,
Cesh me outside,
How bout dat.

I present to you the world's shortest poem, entitled "Fleas".

Adam had'em.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Best Love Poem Ever? Worked For Me.

Roses are red,

Nuts are brown,

Mouths are wide open

It's the best in town

Girls really love it,

It isn't a sin

So when it goes stiff,

Stick it in.

It goes in dry and comes out wet.

The longer its in the stronger it gets.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here's a beautiful poem from the depths of the internets. [NSFW]

There was once a beautiful lass.

Who had a magnificent ass.

Twas not perky nor pink as you'd probably think

It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

A short poem

Imma tell you a short poem.

it goes something like this.

------------------------------------------------------

"I dig.

You dig.

He digs.

she digs.

We dig.

they dig."

------------------------------------

Now the poem is not real...

Preparing my wedding vows in the form of a poem...

What rhymes with "the way you shake that ass?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pickup poem

RAMBUTANS ARE HAIRY


DURIANS ARE THORNY


LOOKING AT YOU


MAKES ME REALLY HORNY

What do you call part of a poem written by a Seinfeld character?

A George Costanza.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The seven wise men poem (nsfw)

7 wise men with knowledge so fine,
They created a pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, smart with wit,
by using a knife he gave it a slit.

Second was a carpenter strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel he gave it a hole.

Third was a tailor tall and thin,
wi...

Roses are Red - Good poem for your ex's

Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.

the ultimate pick up poem as told by my drunk father

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I've got a gun,
Get in the van

I ALSO wrote a poem!

''I do drugs, you do drugs, we do drugs, they do drugs''
Now, I know it's not the best, but it's pretty dope.

A Poem

I dug.

Alice dug.

Vincent dug.

Dad dug.

My sister dug.



I know its not a good poem, but it rhymes and its really deep.

(A friend just texted me this. I thought it was funny.)

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.