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What should be the last lyric of Cardi B’s song “Wet Ass Pussy”?

The Aristocrats

My boyfriend is kicking me out of his house for constantly singing lyrics from "Take on me"

He said he's giving me the weekend to move all my stuff out, and he asked me when I would be able to finally leave, so I replied with "I'll be gone in a day or two."

I can fit the lyrics of the song 'Uptown Funk' into any conversation.

Don't believe me? Just watch!

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Every time I see someone posting lyrics of inspirational songs on social media, I get really pissed off.

But I will survive.

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An Englishman, an American and a Japanese guy are on a boat, moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom...

Suddenly a genie appears. The genie explains that he is of limited power. He cannot prevent their inevitable deaths, but he can grant each man one wish before he dies.

The American steps up first. 'I love my country. Before I die I want to sing my national anthem one last time. The full versi...

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NSFW. What do lyrics from the cha cha slide and a redditors average sex duration have in common?

One hump this time

Rihanna had “Work, work, work, work, work” as the original lyrics

Her producer told her it needs more work.

Hand Washing Lyrics

**Neil Diamond:** Hands...
**NHS:** Yep, wash them for 20 seconds
**Neil Diamond**: Touching hands..
**NHS:** No, don't do that
**Neil Diamond:** Reaching out..
**NHS:** Errrr, avoid that too
**Neil Diamond:** Touching me..
**NHS:** Oh no
### **Neil Diamond:**...

I showed my band the lyrics I composed and they said I should be a poet

Poet, fireman, accountant, anything but lyricist.

I tried to sing “Danger Zone” five times at karaoke night, but kept forgetting the lyrics.

They eventually kicked me off stage.
Too many Loggins attempts.

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Comedian ahead of his time

A comedian was ahead of his time

Every joke he told was sublime

He worked up his crowd

Witty lyrics spoken loud

But he gave them blue balls by not rhyming

I brought my car to a mechanic and asked him, “Do you have any idea why my car is humming?”

He replied, “Probably because it doesn’t know all the lyrics.”

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An ad man is overwhelmed with work...

An ad man is overwhelmed with work so he contracts our his easiest account, for Acme Nails, to his brother in law, who is a professional animator, to produce the ad.

Two days before it's due he still hasn't heard anything so he calls his BIL.

"Hey man, you must be done by now, right? I...

Girl: im breaking up with u.

guy: why?
girl: because u keep quoting Chicago lyrics.
guy: but, if u leave me now, u take away the biggest part of me 😭

My girlfriend left me because I wouldn’t stop quoting Linkin Park lyrics...

...but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

Old MacDonald is up to something. He keeps typing the lyrics to his song as "E-I-E-I-o".

I just can't trust a guy with shift-E-I's.

What do you call it when Arnold Schwarzenegger remembers the lyrics to Africa

Toto recall

What is anti-vax parent's favourite song lyrics?

Swish, swish, bish

Another one in the casket

My girlfriend wanted to break up with me for misquoting Oasis lyrics too much...

I said: "I don't believe anybody feels the way I feel about you now."

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What do you call a nun with a gun?

Shitty rap lyrics

What do you say when you don’t know the lyrics to a-ha’s “Take On Me”?

“I don’t know what I’m to say”

I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't learn the correct Smash Mouth lyrics.

And then I looked at her head.

Studies have shown that if presented with song lyrics, the human mind will produce the melody and have it in the background. According to the researchers,

your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know.

A couple go to a bar during karaoke night...

and they hear a man sing to most beautiful cover of Stairway to Heaven they had ever heard. Since they were planning their wedding at this time, they approach the man after his performance.

"Wow, that was an amazing cover! Would you like to come perform at the reception of our wedding?" they...

What do you call a bird who never remembers song lyrics?

A hummingbird

Why do bees hum?

Cos they don’t remember the lyrics.

My wife just left me, screaming, "ALL YOU EVER DO IS QUOTE ELVIS PRESLEY LYRICS TO ME!"

I'm all shook up…

I was at a job interview and was asked if i can perform under pressure.

I said im not very familiar with the lyrics, but i would certainly have a go at doing bohemian rhapsody

Someone once asked me if everyone in the U.K. Knows the lyrics to Wonderwall

I said mayybeee

My friend told me he felt sad because he didn't know the lyrics to "YMCA".

I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down".

True story: when I was a kid I used to mix up lyrics. For example, after watching Mary Poppins, I sang "a spoonful of medicine helps the sugar go down." -My dad thought is was SO funny I mixed that line up.

Little did either of us know, I was predicting my future diabetes problems.

LPT: if you're trying to study, don't listen to music with lyrics

Any modern pop-song should do.

Son: Dad can you tell me your favorite Beatles lyric?

Son, son, son, here it comes:

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Just wrote this poem

Everyone gather together

Put aside what you are doing

See this lyric, feel the weather

Take a second for the viewing.

Everyone gather together

In this house we all are one.

No discrimination, son.

Did I say a house we're in?

It's a prostitution...

I'm just now realizing most blink-182 lyrics don't make any sense

I guess this is growing up...

TIL that a flock of crows is called a murder.

Thus apparently, gangsta rap lyrics are mostly about ornithology.

I absolutely love the lyrics to the song "What is Love?"

The artist really haddaway with words...

My friend composes lyrics about sewing machines.

She's a Singer songwriter.

"Robot Walks in to a bar .... "

Robot walks into a bar Orders a drink, lays down a bill Bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve robots"And the robot says, "Oh, but someday you will"

**Bonus:**

Boy wants a car from his dad Dad says, "First, you got to cut that hair"Boy says, "Hey, Dad, Jesus had long hair"And Dad says, "...

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They asked me to organise a karaoke night for the blind

One of the songs I included was 'I Can See For Miles' by The Who, but the participants weren't really feeling the lyrics.

Mainly because I forgot to get the braille version.

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A rock band was booed by the crowd.

The drum player and the bass player drink in a bar, depressed as fuck, trying to figure out what went wrong.
'It's probably the stage sound', the bass player suggests. 'That engineer can't mix shit in a bowl, let alone sound.'
'Come on, we've had worse. At least the monitors were working.'...

What do rappers use to write their lyrics?

Word,yo.

Alternate Lyrics: I kissed a Trans and I liked it.

The taste of her hairy lap stick.

I love listening to Bongripper.

I know all of their lyrics by heart.

I kinda stole this

The worst part about liking classical music is when you forget the name of a piece and you can't google the lyrics because there are none

⚠️ No Results For "there was a really good bit with a flute"

I don't think my wife will ever talk to me again.

Look, I have a great nostalgia for the 90s. I listen to the music all the time. And my favorite band of all time is Barenaked Ladies.

So, of course, that's what has been on my playlist on repeat. I can't help it, the songs are so catchy! I think though that she's had enough.

"I am so s...

I made a rap song all about soap.

It’s fine, the lyrics are clean.

In church tonight ....

My sister said she didn't need a hymnal because she knew the lyrics to every Christmas song.

I told my brother, "Don't mind her, she's just a big noel-it-all."

Heavy metal is a lot like jazz....

It's the lyrics you DON'T hear

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What do you call a person that constantly hunts for karma?

A predditor.

Why is it appropriate that the Rolling Stones let their song “Start Me Up” be used for a Windows 95 commercial?

Because it contains the lyrics “You’d make a grown man cry.”

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A man walks into a bar and opens his suitcase revealing a million dollars in cash.

"I'll give this million dollars to the first person who can sing "Auld Lang Syne" and give me head at the same time."

Immediately people started a stampede, men, women and children all alike, towards the mans crotch. They whipped his dick out and started battling over who gets to do the "perf...

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First Time Poster, Go easy on me ... "Hamster"

So.. A guy walks into bar and takes a seat ....

The Barman approaches and says what are you having boss?

The Man replies .. I don't have any money pal ...

Barman says if you don't have any money you can stay here ...

The guy says ...what if i told you i have a hamster th...

I'm selling this new shower radio I just bought a few days ago.

It sings the wrong lyrics.

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The monkey's balls.

A man stops in a little town after a long drive, looking for a place to have a big cold glass of beer. He goes onto the local bar, which is completely empty, except for a blind pianist, who is playing some ragtime tunes. he sits down at the bar, and from the back a bartender appears.

"What do...

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Lets talk about racism in music

You know how some people claim that music made by white people can't be enjoyed by black people because they can't relate to it.

They are crazy. Black people can relate to music made by white people just as much as white people can. For instance, look at music made by Everclear. Black people...

can you guys help me find an AC/DC song?

it has 3 power chords and the lyrics are about being a badass, Thanks!





*stolen from RYM*

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