My mom told me last night that she had a dream where I only spoke using 90's song lyrics.

All I could say is "How bizarre, how bizarre"

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NSFW. What do lyrics from the cha cha slide and a redditors average sex duration have in common?

One hump this time

Rihanna had “Work, work, work, work, work” as the original lyrics

Her producer told her it needs more work.

Hand Washing Lyrics

**Neil Diamond:** Hands...
**NHS:** Yep, wash them for 20 seconds
**Neil Diamond**: Touching hands..
**NHS:** No, don't do that
**Neil Diamond:** Reaching out..
**NHS:** Errrr, avoid that too
**Neil Diamond:** Touching me..
**NHS:** Oh no
### **Neil Diamond:**...

People keep asking why I quote Green Day lyrics so much

I want to be the minority

Old MacDonald is up to something. He keeps typing the lyrics to his song as "E-I-E-I-o".

I just can't trust a guy with shift-E-I's.

I can fit the lyrics of the song 'Uptown Funk' into any conversation.

Don't believe me? Just watch!

I showed my band the lyrics I composed and they said I should be a poet

Poet, fireman, accountant, anything but lyricist.

Why do bees hum?

Cos they don’t remember the lyrics.

What is anti-vax parent's favourite song lyrics?

Swish, swish, bish

Another one in the casket

What do you call it when Arnold Schwarzenegger remembers the lyrics to Africa

Toto recall

I tried to sing “Danger Zone” five times at karaoke night, but kept forgetting the lyrics.

They eventually kicked me off stage.
Too many Loggins attempts.

My girlfriend wanted to break up with me for misquoting Oasis lyrics too much...

I said: "I don't believe anybody feels the way I feel about you now."

A couple go to a bar during karaoke night...

and they hear a man sing to most beautiful cover of Stairway to Heaven they had ever heard. Since they were planning their wedding at this time, they approach the man after his performance.

"Wow, that was an amazing cover! Would you like to come perform at the reception of our wedding?" they...

What do you say when you don’t know the lyrics to a-ha’s “Take On Me”?

“I don’t know what I’m to say”

I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't learn the correct Smash Mouth lyrics.

And then I looked at her head.

My girlfriend told me that if I kept saying Oasis lyrics, she would leave.

I said maybe

My girlfriend left me because I wouldn’t stop quoting Linkin Park lyrics...

...but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

I was at a job interview and was asked if i can perform under pressure.

I said im not very familiar with the lyrics, but i would certainly have a go at doing bohemian rhapsody

My wife just left me, screaming, "ALL YOU EVER DO IS QUOTE ELVIS PRESLEY LYRICS TO ME!"

I'm all shook up…

What do you call a bird who never remembers song lyrics?

A hummingbird

If Rammstein had been office workers,

Would their lyrics have been

Do,

Do not,

Do not reply all,

Do not reply all,

Do not reply all,

Or I will take your soul?

Studies have shown that if presented with song lyrics, the human mind will produce the melody and have it in the background. According to the researchers,

your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know.

Someone once asked me if everyone in the U.K. Knows the lyrics to Wonderwall

I said mayybeee

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Just wrote this poem

Everyone gather together

Put aside what you are doing

See this lyric, feel the weather

Take a second for the viewing.

Everyone gather together

In this house we all are one.

No discrimination, son.

Did I say a house we're in?

It's a prostitution...

TIL that a flock of crows is called a murder.

Thus apparently, gangsta rap lyrics are mostly about ornithology.

My friend told me he felt sad because he didn't know the lyrics to "YMCA".

I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down".

"Robot Walks in to a bar .... "

Robot walks into a bar Orders a drink, lays down a bill Bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve robots"And the robot says, "Oh, but someday you will"

**Bonus:**

Boy wants a car from his dad Dad says, "First, you got to cut that hair"Boy says, "Hey, Dad, Jesus had long hair"And Dad says, "...

True story: when I was a kid I used to mix up lyrics. For example, after watching Mary Poppins, I sang "a spoonful of medicine helps the sugar go down." -My dad thought is was SO funny I mixed that line up.

Little did either of us know, I was predicting my future diabetes problems.

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They asked me to organise a karaoke night for the blind

One of the songs I included was 'I Can See For Miles' by The Who, but the participants weren't really feeling the lyrics.

Mainly because I forgot to get the braille version.

LPT: if you're trying to study, don't listen to music with lyrics

Any modern pop-song should do.

I'm just now realizing most blink-182 lyrics don't make any sense

I guess this is growing up...

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A rock band was booed by the crowd.

The drum player and the bass player drink in a bar, depressed as fuck, trying to figure out what went wrong.
'It's probably the stage sound', the bass player suggests. 'That engineer can't mix shit in a bowl, let alone sound.'
'Come on, we've had worse. At least the monitors were working.'...

Son: Dad can you tell me your favorite Beatles lyric?

Son, son, son, here it comes:

I absolutely love the lyrics to the song "What is Love?"

The artist really haddaway with words...

My friend composes lyrics about sewing machines.

She's a Singer songwriter.

What do rappers use to write their lyrics?

Word,yo.

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Drake Lyrics

I was running and I stubbed my fuckin toe, you know how that shit go, I went down to the floor

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How long will it take for Rammstein's new album to be released?

'Till Lindemann has finished the lyrics.

I kinda stole this

The worst part about liking classical music is when you forget the name of a piece and you can't google the lyrics because there are none

⚠️ No Results For "there was a really good bit with a flute"

Alternate Lyrics: I kissed a Trans and I liked it.

The taste of her hairy lap stick.

In church tonight ....

My sister said she didn't need a hymnal because she knew the lyrics to every Christmas song.

I told my brother, "Don't mind her, she's just a big noel-it-all."

I made a rap song all about soap.

It’s fine, the lyrics are clean.

Heavy metal is a lot like jazz....

It's the lyrics you DON'T hear

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What do you call a person that constantly hunts for karma?

A predditor.

Why is it appropriate that the Rolling Stones let their song “Start Me Up” be used for a Windows 95 commercial?

Because it contains the lyrics “You’d make a grown man cry.”

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A man walks into a bar and opens his suitcase revealing a million dollars in cash.

"I'll give this million dollars to the first person who can sing "Auld Lang Syne" and give me head at the same time."

Immediately people started a stampede, men, women and children all alike, towards the mans crotch. They whipped his dick out and started battling over who gets to do the "perf...

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First Time Poster, Go easy on me ... "Hamster"

So.. A guy walks into bar and takes a seat ....

The Barman approaches and says what are you having boss?

The Man replies .. I don't have any money pal ...

Barman says if you don't have any money you can stay here ...

The guy says ...what if i told you i have a hamster th...

I'm selling this new shower radio I just bought a few days ago.

It sings the wrong lyrics.

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The monkey's balls.

A man stops in a little town after a long drive, looking for a place to have a big cold glass of beer. He goes onto the local bar, which is completely empty, except for a blind pianist, who is playing some ragtime tunes. he sits down at the bar, and from the back a bartender appears.

"What do...

can you guys help me find an AC/DC song?

it has 3 power chords and the lyrics are about being a badass, Thanks!





*stolen from RYM*

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