I recently joined a support group for people who peaked in high school.
It's called Crossfit
I peaked too soon in high school.
I'm still sending her child support.
Two guys become best friends in high school, bonding over their similar tastes in music.
After a while, one guy notices that whenever his friend is in a relationship, all he listens to is Liz Phair songs. And whenever he’s single, he goes back to his normal genres.
After high school, the two enlist together. During their first tour, the guy notices his friend is once again seemi...
Did you hear about the mountain climber who summited Mt Everest.
safe to say his mountain climbing career peaked
My wife gets upset when I steal her kitchen utensils...
But it's a whisk I'm willing to take.
Edit: Thank you, children. It would appear I've peaked as a father. My actual son will be devastated.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
4 nuns line up for confession
The first nun says: "forgive me father, for I have sinned. Last night, a homeless man sought shelter in our walls, so we gave him a room and some new clothes. While he was changing, I peaked through the keyhole and I stared longingly at his penis."
The priest says: "do not be ashamed, my chi...
Little Johnny in Religion Class
The teacher in religion class asks, "What part of your body do you think arrives in heaven first?"
Little Johnny shoots his hand in the air. A chill runs through the teacher and she pretends not to see him. "Mary, you had your hand up first. What do you think?"
Mary straightens up in h...
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A man see's a sign on a bar window "Win $1,000,000 - Details inside"
Curiosity peaked, he enters the bar and asks the bartender what's required to win the million.
"Ah, that?" The bartender casually replied, offering a challenging smirk. "It requires the completion of 3 tasks I believe to be impossible. It brought in a lot of business when I first put ...
Beans for lunch
During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my wife seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was...
I went on a hike yesterday.
It peaked with some great views, but went downhill from there.
Three women are sick of their boss always leaving work early on a Tuesday
One Tuesday, they all agree to wait 20 minutes after the boss has left, then sneak out themselves - their boss would never know.
The brunette left and decided to go shopping.
The redhead decided to hit the gym before meeting some friends for drinks.
A man is walking by a mental hospital and hears chanting.
A man is walking by a mental hospital and hears chanting from over the fence. He stops to listen and hears that they are saying "Five! Five! Five! Five!"
His curiosity peaked, he walks until he sees a hole in the fence. He puts his eye up to the hole to try to see what's going on, when he's p...
If topography was converted to a line graph.
Then America peaked somewhere around the Rockies.
A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding...
..."Afternoon ma'am. May I see your license and registration?" The old lady wordlessly hands the officer these items. As the officer reaches for the papers, he takes observation of the old woman.
She wasn't just old, she was very old. Must have been in her mid 90's. The fact that she was spee...