Peaked Jokes

Unfortunately its been a downward spiral ever since.

But it's a whisk I'm willing to take.

Edit: Thank you, children. It would appear I've peaked as a father.
My actual son will be devastated.

The brunette left and decided to go shopping.

The redhead decided to hit the gym before meeting some friends for drinks.

The blonde decided to go home and surprise her husband, but when she arrive home she heard noises in the bedroom. She slowly walked up, peaked through the door, and ... read more

I'm still sending her child support.

It's called Crossfit

Context: Me and my wife are setting up to rent an airbnb apartment, conversation earlier that went like this.

Me: We need to decide how many towels to give our guests.

Wife: 2 for the shower, 1 big 1 small,

Me: And how many tea towels do we put in the kitchen?

Wife: 1
... read more

safe to say his mountain climbing career peaked

He opens the door and there is a little man there in a blue uniform with a peaked cap. "Evening!" he says, "...or whatever time it is up here. Hopkins, Civil Aviation Authority. It's time for your checkride".

Santa begs his pardon politely and Hopkins digs through the satchel he is carrying a... read more

After a while, one guy notices that whenever his friend is in a relationship, all he listens to is Liz Phair songs. And whenever he’s single, he goes back to his normal genres.

After high school, the two enlist together. During their first tour, the guy notices his friend is once again seemi... read more

It peaked with some great views, but went downhill from there.

Then America peaked somewhere around the Rockies.

I peaked in 2008 and I'm not compatible with anyone else.

We may have peaked early.

The teacher in religion class asks, "What part of your body do you think arrives in heaven first?"

Little Johnny shoots his hand in the air. A chill runs through the teacher and she pretends not to see him. "Mary, you had your hand up first. What do you think?"

Mary straightens up in h... read more

A man is walking by a mental hospital and hears chanting from over the fence. He stops to listen and hears that they are saying "Five! Five! Five! Five!"

His curiosity peaked, he walks until he sees a hole in the fence. He puts his eye up to the hole to try to see what's going on, when he's p... read more

He looks around, refreshing his window, switching from hot to new, from new to top. His face furrows in disgust.

"These aren't even clever, they're just repetitive, poorly executed punchlines with variations in the setup in order to get karma quick."

He calls over his eleven year old s... read more

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my wife seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was... read more