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An evil black knight and a holy white knight meet on the field of battle

The black knight calls out to his opponent, "behold the power of my sturdy lance and my steed! We will conquer this land and enslave its people on behalf of the dark wizard!"

The white knight responds, "nary have I enountered such a vile and wicked man! The people of this holy land shall rem...

I realised at the last minute that i forgot my protective goggles at the nuclear test facility this morning. My line manager saved my vision and shielded me from the intense light!

He's my super visor

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My Friend, Ving.

So in my calculus class last year in math, there were these two Chinese twins. Ving, and Ling. Ving was always super cool with me. In exchange for answers (he was super smart) I would hang out with him and be his friend and stuff. After I cheated off of him and studied with him though, I did get to ...

My dad told me today that we're distantly related to the Fugarwii Tribe of Native Americans.

This tribe was nomadic, and would wander all over the continental US. Unfortunately, as a tribe, they had a terrible sense of direction and would often get horribly lost.
The Fugarwii had scouts who's soul purpose was to remedy this: they would scout about, find the tallest mountain they could, ...

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The Welder's Mask

A kids walking along the street and he sees a welders mask.
So the kids excited and he picks it up and puts it on. He plays with the eye visor, flipping it up and down.

Just then a guy in a van comes along and says "hey kid, you want a ride?"

The kid thinks why not so he gets in the...

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Two knights are riding through the forest

and they come across a peasant. One knight lifts his visor and says, "Pray thee, have you seen a black knight with a red lion rampant on a white shield?"

"I'm afraid not sir knight."

"Very well, then. Go about God's business."

They go another mile down the road, and they come ac...

What did 1 say to 7?

Nice visor

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A young boy is walking home

A young boy is walking home one way when he finds a welder's mask on the ground. He picks it up, puts it on, and fiddles with it, flipping the visor open and closed. Right then a white van pulls up next to him and a strange man tells him he'll give the boy a ride.

The boy gets in and the man ...

When I first got my licence my mother always told me...

"It's not you I'm worried about, it's the other guys." Which is wrong.... Guys aren't the only problem. *pulls down visor mirror and applies eyeshadow, and lipstick while simultaneously posting to snapchat.*

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