UPJOKE
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I took my family out for an expensive meal the other night and surprised everyone by ordering in French.

It was a Chinese restaurant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man once visits a popular restaurant which is busy all the time

He was ordering the food and he noticed that his waiter carried a spoon in his pocket.

It seemed a little strange. Then he looked around and saw that all the staff had a
spoon in their pockets.

He asked his waiter, "Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's mana...

An Irishman walks into a bar, and orders three pints, all at once.

He does this for several days, drinking one, and then the next one, and then the last one. After a week or two, the bartender says
"You know, I can bring you your drinks one at a time, so they stay fresh and cold"
"No, no" the Irishman says to the bartender "I have two brothers. One...

Amazon has started a new service where they deliver custom made shirts within 48 hours of ordering.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

There is only one thing I don’t like about ordering duck in a Chinese restaurant

The bill

a man was driving his Tesla when

an old truck forced him to stop

after greetings, the truck driver suggested that they swap their cars

"are you out of your mind, who would ever want to swap a new beautiful eco-friendly Tesla with a loud old smoking truck ?"

"you don't und...

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I Just quit drinking.

So an older man in Ireland is drinking in the pub and he orders three beers and dranks them all down. He orders three more and dranks those down. The bartender says "Hey you don't have too order three beers each time I can keep pouring you a cold one." The older man says "Well you see I have two bro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Day Playing Golf

A husband loved to play golf, but he and his wife were so busy with their jobs and tending to the home and kids that he wasn’t able to go out very often.

After a really busy stretch for both of them, he just had to take a day on the links, so he struck a deal with his wife. He would go on the...

A man walks into an old pub in Dublin, takes a seat at the bar and orders 3 pints.

After he is served he takes sips from them in turn and when all 3 glasses are finally empty he orders 3 more. The barkeeper, who has been watching him, has never seen such a weird style of drinking and says to the man: “You know when you leave a beer for too long it goes flat, so they would taste be...

When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken.

"Nothing special", he explained. "We just tell them they're going to die."

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