UPJOKE
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It is Wednesday, February 15th 2023. Happy Humpday everyone.

Opps, my bad... humpday was February 14th, wasn't it?

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Emergency

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the highway, so I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.
I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life-like you wouldn't believe ...

What do you call a bad son

An opp-spring

Why do midwesterners make terrible spies?

Itā€™s because they always say ā€œoppeā€ when they try to sneak on past ya...

Two thieves are rooting through a farmer's shed

The farmer sneaks up on the shed and locks the door from the outside trapping the two thieves inside. So he calls the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) and tells them he has the two thieves locked in his shed and to come and arrest them. The dispatch says that they are really busy and will get there...

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

There is a smiling security guard in the bathroom at the strip club i go to... [Long]

Night or day doesnt matter, you go in and he just stares you down while youā€™re using the pisser with the biggest smile on his face.

Ive tried talking to him several times but he just stands there and smiles like the queens guard or some shit. I figured i would test him a bit and see what i c...

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