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Substituting Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The English substitute

A school teacher came down with a bad case of the flu and asked the school for a substitute for her class.
The school also had to train a new intern, so they killed two birds with one stone and made the intern take the class.


Problem was though, the intern didn’t know English literatur...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young lady is substituting a kindergarten class....

"Good morning class my name is Miss Prussy, like a pussy cat but with a R." She is nervous at first but the kids love her and she breezes through the day without a hitch.

A couple of months later she is reassigned to sub for the same class. When she gets all the kids settled she asks if any ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At school

At school, 5th grade classroom.
The new teacher is asking some questions to the kids just to know them a little better.

T: so, Lucy, tell me about your family.
Lucy: I'm the only child. Dad work in a factory and mom is a housemaid.

T: a typical family... Nice. And what about your...

I miss baseball so much...

I miss baseball so much that I've been substituting things I see out of my front window.
Today there's two old ladies drinking on the corner:
It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded...

The Music Major

A student has a music major final due, he must compose a symphony.

Out of time, he decides to go to the library to find sheet music and simply write it backwards and submit it as his own. He looks through the stacks and finds one from his very professor when he was a student. He copies it do...

A Joke Experiment

A guy walks into a bar…


That is the first line of the joke experiment. I’m curious to see if the r/jokes community can work together to craft the Perfect Joke. I don’t know if this has been done before, but I’m sure if it’s a bad idea it will be ignored (or downvoted into oblivion) anyway...

Simple instructions from an English teacher for a great essay.

1. Don't use no double negatives.
2. Don't abbrev.
3. Personally, in my opinion, a writer or essayist should not make use of too many words or phrases which he does not necessarily need in many cases.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. Dont, use, commas, when they are, unnecessary.
6. Ke...

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