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Append Jokes

Blonde's Appendicitis

A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."

The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."

"As long as you append my name to a quote,...

people would buy into it and take it seriously."

- Winston Churchill

How did the triangle know he had appendicitis?

He had an acute pain in his side!

I went to see my hot female doctor yesterday.

Pretty sure she flirted with me,

she said I have a cute appendicitis..

A man walks into a bar

And sees two gangsters chating, one of them lifts his shirt, showing a horrible scar in his chest and says "Kansas city", the other does the same, lifts his shirt and shows a big scar in his back and says "Boston city". The man approaches them, lifts his shirt and shows a scar in the right side of h...

A man calls his doctor

"Doctor, my wife has appendicitis, it's emergency !"

"That's impossible, I personally removed your wife's appendix ! I have never seen someone having appendicitis twice !"

"And someone having a new wife, have you seen that ?"

Toughest time of my Life

I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis. Then they gave me hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic ci...

A hospital director catches up with a patient running bare foot from the building

Why did escape from the operating room? said the director

Because the nurse was saying: " it's ok be brave, it's just appendicitis it's a simple operation..."

So what? she was just trying to reassure you...

She was talking to the surgeon!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

...in the bathtub.

(attach "in the bathtub" at the end of the post above this, or alternately, click on the front page and add "in the bathtub" to the post titles)
This is more of a social experiment than a joke.
In my church-going days (way back when) my friend showed me a game where you flip to a random song i...

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room

when a young woman with purple punk rocker Mohawk hair, sporting a variety of tattoos and wearing strange clothing was admitted to the ER. It was quickly determined she had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery.
When completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff not...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

ravishing young girl

In a train compartment, there are three men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the . Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1, I’ll show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of t...
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