UPJOKE
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Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
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Death Penalty Abolished In Most Of The Developed Countries

They have mortgage as an alternative.

Asked my bud what he'd do if the 1st Amendment was abolished.

He couldn't say

In reality, communism in Russia never failed.

Gorbachev abolished the state, Yeltsin abolished social classes by making everyone poor, and Putin is now abolishing money!

Why was the Soviet Union abolished?

They realized the “C” in Communism was capitalized

Don't you guys think abolishing The Police is a bit extreme?

At least let them have a farewell tour first.

Why did it Take so long For Russia to abolish Communism?

The Leader was Stalin

When Canada abolished the penny there was no public protest at all...

...I guess Canada fears change

Why was abolishing the one-child policy in China morally controversial?

It led to an increase of youth in Asia

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stop alright! It's not No Nut November!

It's always Jack-off January, Fap February, Masturbate March, Abuse-yo-cock April, Maniacally beat-yo-meat May, Jizzy June, Jerk July, Abolish-yo-junk August, Seep-yo-seed September, Orgasmic October, Nut November, Destroy Dick December.

Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters?

Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital

Clinton consults the past

Hillary went for a walk one morning and came upon the Washington monument. She asked, "George, what should I do?" After a few seconds a ghostly voice replied, "Abolish the IRS and start over." She thought about this for a few seconds and continued her walk.

Shortly afterwards she stepped up t...

Given Isaac Newton's links to the slave trade,

perhaps we ought to abolish gravity.

It would be a weight off his shoulders.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another little Johnny joke

Little Johnny's teacher told the class that they were going to be quizzed about US presidents. Every correct answer will win that student a jellybean.

Teacher: Who was our 1st president?

Nobody raised their hands except the little Japanese boy in the front row

Boy: George Wa...

Mark Twain- “A plan for the improvement of the English language”

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet.

The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.

Year 2 might reform...

What's the difference between democrats and republicans in America?

One group wants to abolish ICE, the other wants to abolish ice.

People hate change.

That's why they both want to abolish or keep the penny.

Stalin calls a meeting in the Politburo

To hold a debate on wether there will be money in the Soviet Union. The two main factions, led by Trotsky and Bukharin, represent left- and right-wing views. Trotsky said, "We should absolutely abolish money, the state should be able to provide all of its citizens." Bukharin rises to speak, saying, ...

The Soviet chain factory

Once upon a time, there was a factory in the Soviet Union that made chains. When the communists took over, they abolished capitalism, and instead of selling chains the factory sent their production to the government to distribute, and were rewarded based on their production quotas set by the bureauc...

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