The Russian Prime Minister comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish these time zones.

Putin: Why?

Prime Minister:
Ah, I can't find myself with these times. I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. Once, I woke you up at 4 in the morning, but I thought it was only evening. I called Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it...

So President Trump wants to abolish the two term limit on the Presidency.

Welcome back President Obama we missed you.

Why was the Soviet Union abolished?

They realized the “C” in Communism was capitalized

Asked my bud what he'd do if the 1st Amendment was abolished.

He couldn't say

Don't you guys think abolishing The Police is a bit extreme?

At least let them have a farewell tour first.

Why did it Take so long For Russia to abolish Communism?

The Leader was Stalin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stop alright! It's not No Nut November!

It's always Jack-off January, Fap February, Masturbate March, Abuse-yo-cock April, Maniacally beat-yo-meat May, Jizzy June, Jerk July, Abolish-yo-junk August, Seep-yo-seed September, Orgasmic October, Nut November, Destroy Dick December.

When Canada abolished the penny there was no public protest at all...

...I guess Canada fears change

Why was abolishing the one-child policy in China morally controversial?

It led to an increase of youth in Asia

Given Isaac Newton's links to the slave trade,

perhaps we ought to abolish gravity.

It would be a weight off his shoulders.

Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters?

Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital

Clinton consults the past

Hillary went for a walk one morning and came upon the Washington monument. She asked, "George, what should I do?" After a few seconds a ghostly voice replied, "Abolish the IRS and start over." She thought about this for a few seconds and continued her walk.

Shortly afterwards she stepped up t...

Mark Twain- “A plan for the improvement of the English language”

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet.

The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.

Year 2 might reform...

What's the difference between democrats and republicans in America?

One group wants to abolish ICE, the other wants to abolish ice.

People hate change.

That's why they both want to abolish or keep the penny.

Stalin calls a meeting in the Politburo

To hold a debate on wether there will be money in the Soviet Union. The two main factions, led by Trotsky and Bukharin, represent left- and right-wing views. Trotsky said, "We should absolutely abolish money, the state should be able to provide all of its citizens." Bukharin rises to speak, saying, ...

One night the Pope is saying his bedtime prayers...

...when God Himself comes down from heaven to listen to them. Then, sitting on the Pope's bed, He says, "Listen, you've been such a good Pope and devoted follower that I'm going to grant any wish you'd like."
The Pope is overcome with emotion, and for a little while he can't think of anythin...

The Soviet chain factory

Once upon a time, there was a factory in the Soviet Union that made chains. When the communists took over, they abolished capitalism, and instead of selling chains the factory sent their production to the government to distribute, and were rewarded based on their production quotas set by the bureauc...

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