What idiot decided to call it “randomized clinical trial with placebo”

And not “trick or treatment”

How many clinical psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but the light bulb has to want to change.

How do you cure clinical depression?

you walk out of the clinic

What do you call a cantaloupe with clinical depression?

Melon-choly

Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression.

What a sad state of affairs.

So I was part of a double blind clinical study...

So I was a part of a double blind clinical study of the effects of sugar pills on patients. Little did I know, I was part of the placebo group and was given Xanax.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the clinical name for Viagra?

Mycoxafloppin.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Old man goes to the doctor...

An older gentleman goes to the doctor and tells him he has erectile dysfunction. The doc scratches his chin, and then snaps his fingers.

"I've got just the thing for you! This is a new medicine; just cleared clinical trials. You'll feel like you're twenty again!"

"Anything to get me ba...

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face" the horse replies

"I have clinical depression"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Going to be a father in April and remembered this classic:

A new machine had come out in the medicine field and a doctor was working with a pregnant couple that wanted to participate in the clinical trials.

"This machine," he says, "once hooked up to the mother will make it so she feels none of the pain, but the father will have to endure all of it."...

What is long, hard to handle and keeps her up all night?

Clinical Depression

So I was walking down the street one day, when an oddly dressed man caught my attention.

He was wearing a long, white, clinical robe and shouting at nearly everybody that came within his proximity. Having foolishly stopped out of curiosity he approached me. “Global Warming is having a drastic effect on the globes axis!”, he yelped. “The rotation of the Earth is speeding up dramatically,...

The vaccine conspiracy

Linda had a heart attack and was brought to the emergency room while in clinical death. The doctors managed to revive her, but during her coma she saw a bright light and God appeared to her. She asked him:

"Tell me, God, is it true that vaccines could cause autism?"

"No, autism is a co...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

DJ gets Caught Off Guard

A guy calls into a radio station and he says he has a joke for the DJ. The DJ goes, “Alright, let’s hear it.”

The caller asks, “First, are we allowed to say ‘penis’ on the air?”

The DJ says, “It is the specific medical or clinical term so yes, you can use it.”

Caller: “OK, what...