When do Americans and the rest of the world reach consensus?

When it's -40°.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Morning Briefing

The commanding officer of a regiment in the Army was about to start the morning briefing to his staff, battalion and company commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. 

He explained that his wife had been...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Physicians were unable to reach a consensus:

Should Brexit take place?

The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologist's had sort of a gut feeling about it,

but the Neurologists thought May had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetrician...

What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

What do you call a headcount of the prison population?

A consensus.

Statue of Pushkin

Meeting of Cultural commission of Supreme Soviet of USSR, 1950. Consensus on commissioning of giant statue of Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin, russian poet.

1st possibility - Pushkin sitting in chair, reading a book of Generalissimus Stalin. - historically impossible, denied.

2nd possibi...

The other day I found a little dog in Queens

It looked like it was starving and cold so I decided to take it home

It was a tiny little puppy and was filthy so I couldn’t really tell what kind of dog it was and decided to ask around

I first went to my friend from the Bronx

He said “that’s not a dog just one of those baby ra...

Why did Simba's dad die in a stampede?

Because he didn't Moofassa enough!

When I was in the army our commanding officer always made decisions based on the way our whole unit felt.

I kind of miss him. Good ol' General Consensus.

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