how do you neutralize silicone on the road?

dad: "well , you'll need some serious cones".

What's a huge red flag, but also a big plus, so overall it's neutral?

The Swiss flag

A serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment.

The serpent guard’s eyes glow. The Horus guard’s beak glistens. The Setesh guard’s nose drips.

I couldn't find any neutral colours while shopping for paint. I asked the assistant if they had any.

He replied "Not currently, but I have grey taupes for the future"

Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

If I had $ for every time I heard about net neutrality

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If I had a $ for every post I've seen today about Net Neutrality...

I'd have enough money to view a post next year about Net Neutrality.

I made a joke about net neutrality

Americans didn't get it.

In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends.

Thoughts and prayers.

As I parked my car for work, I didn't notice that I left the stick in neutral

Things only went downhill from there

Sometimes I feel like a seal is just a neutral sea lion

Neutral

As in

Without an ion

Why is Stephen such a neutral name?

Because its pH is in the middle.

In politics, I'm mostly neutral

But I'm Lenin towards left.

You really ought to hear this joke about Net Neutrality now.

Or you'll pay for it later.

A soldier looks at the sky and suddenly yells: "we gotta act fast, it's about to neutralize our base!". His commanding officer says: "What the hell are you talking about, we ain't even at war!?"

The soldier replies: "Acid rain".

I take LSD every time I go to a dubstep concert, but it always wears off.

I think it’s because the bass neutralizes the acid

Two electricians are standing on a ladder leaned against a utility pole...

...when an elderly lady was passing below them. One of the electricians calls her.

\- Excuse me, ma'm! Could you pass us that wire, so we don't have to climb down?

\- This one, young man?

\- Yes, that one! Thank you so much, ma'm, you're very kind!

\- No problem, dear!...

With the outrage regarding the repeal of Net Neutrality, it is important to remember that there are two sides to this issue.

The outraged side,

And the uninformed.

80% of Americans want net neutrality

The other 20% are dead

Have you heard about the guy who wants to repeal net neutrality?

What a piece Ajit.

Don't worry too much about Net Neutrality!

Spending extra dollars to use some websites will give you a "sense of pride and accomplishment"!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With Net Neutrality gone I’m finally ready to start my new business- Carrier Pigeons

You may laugh now, but you won’t be when my pigeons deliver nudes faster than your service provider

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

Edit: son of a bitch, they're hijacking accounts already!!

If you neutralize LSD

Can you still call it acid?

How do you neutralize Lords of Acid?

With some Ace of Base.

I dont understand all the worry about net neutrality, because

[Please make a £100 donation to AT&T for completion of this joke]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was an American Soldier at the Neutral Zone in Korea

The American Soldier was a little bored and he seen a North Korean soldier so he asked "Do you speak english?" No response

So he turned to the south and asked a South Korean soldier if he knew english and he got no response back.

The American Soldier thought maybe they knew sign langu...

What do you call a seal with a non-neutral charge

Sealion

What's the deal with Net Neutrality?

(This post has been blocked by your service provider)

What's the best thing about net neutrality jokes?

Not everyone gets them.

For all the people talking completely overblowing the net neutrality issue, I just want to say

THIS IS A PREMIUM JOKE
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Want to hear a joke about Net Neutrality?

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What do you get when you repeal net neutrality?

[punchline loading, please wait]

What do you call a website without net neutrality?

<Please upgrade to Reddit Gold Package™ to read this post>

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Net Neutrality won't ruin everyone's life unlike previously stated

I have it on good authority that the Amish don't give a fuck

Did you hear the joke about Net Neutrality?

Sorry, your current internet package does not support punchlines. Please upgrade to the higher end package.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't worry, anyone who doesn't take action in protecting net neutrality will get FREE sex when this blows over!

Specifically, you'll get fucked by Comcast and Verizon.

Have you heard the one about Net Neutrality?

THIS POST HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY YOUR INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER. PAY $10 TO SEE THIS GREAT JOKE.

Excited about Net Neutrality Repeal

Now all my opponents will have the same ping as I.

Why do internet service providers try to end Net Neutrality every few years?

The intent is to provide citizens with a sense of pride and accomplishment in fighting for their rights.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a pretty neutral guy.

I find it hard to choose sides.

I mean, I have an uncle who drives a truck for Pepsi and a cousin who sucks dick for coke.

I've heard people say that vegans are gonna save the world. I disagree...

If you want to save the world you should become a cannibal.

If you eat someone you're 100% carbon neutral. Better yet, eat a pilot.

The FCC is trying to take away Net Neutrality.

This isn’t a joke it’s real my dudes

You know what they say about net neutrality...

I don't know. The webpage hasn't loaded for me either.

At what moment are people politically neutral?

It is before crossing a road. They look left and right.

Did you hear about Net Neutrality on the United flight?

[Removed by the FCC]

Net neutrality is overrated. I can still access all the sites.

Besides, most of them are the same anyway, always showing only 404 and the like.

The Net Neutrality issue made me come to the sad realization...

I'll finally have to start paying for movies I get from Pirate Bay.

To play devil’s advocate on this whole Net Neutrality thing...

He’s sure looking forward to meeting Ajit Pai

What if net neutrality didn’t work.

Facebook could be the thrift shop for reddit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Neutral

A woman goes shoe shopping and discovers that all of the mainstream brands are out of stock. She yells and complains to the manager until a customer throws an orange at her.

At this, the woman miraculously calms down and immediately leaves the store. Dumbfounded, the manager asks the custome...

Post Net-Neutrality

Google User: I want the search results!

ISP: You can't afford the search results!

Have you heard of this thing called Net Neutrality?

r/all of us have...

The MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition

Three small parties of all three Agencies meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big german forest.

For the goal of the competition, they decided that each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins....

Why are neutralization reations illegal?

They involve assault.

Why does the military stockpile hydrochloric acid?

To neutralize their enemy's strongest bases.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

The UK is really taking the Paris Climate Agreement seriously.

Yesterday they voted to become Corbyn-neutral by 2020.

How many gears does a Swiss tank have?

Who knows? They’re always in neutral

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