Neutral Jokes - 55 Hilarious Neutral Jokes

In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends.

Thoughts and prayers.

Sometimes I feel like a seal is just a neutral sea lion

Neutral

As in

Without an ion

Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

I made a joke about net neutrality

Americans didn't get it.

You really ought to hear this joke about Net Neutrality now.

Or you'll pay for it later.

80% of Americans want net neutrality

The other 20% are dead

Why would the military use acid?

To neutralize the enemy base.

Why is Stephen such a neutral name?

Because its pH is in the middle.

With the outrage regarding the repeal of Net Neutrality, it is important to remember that there are two sides to this issue.

The outraged side,

And the uninformed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With Net Neutrality gone I’m finally ready to start my new business- Carrier Pigeons

You may laugh now, but you won’t be when my pigeons deliver nudes faster than your service provider

What's the deal with Net Neutrality?

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Neutral

A woman goes shoe shopping and discovers that all of the mainstream brands are out of stock. She yells and complains to the manager until a customer throws an orange at her.

At this, the woman miraculously calms down and immediately leaves the store. Dumbfounded, the manager asks the custome...

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I'm a pretty neutral guy.

I find it hard to choose sides.

I mean, I have an uncle who drives a truck for Pepsi and a cousin who sucks dick for coke.

What's a huge red flag, but also a big plus, so overall it's neutral?

The Swiss flag

If I had $ for every time I heard about net neutrality

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Don't worry too much about Net Neutrality!

Spending extra dollars to use some websites will give you a "sense of pride and accomplishment"!

What do you call a website without net neutrality?

Excited about Net Neutrality Repeal

Now all my opponents will have the same ping as I.

Post Net-Neutrality

Google User: I want the search results!

ISP: You can't afford the search results!

Want to hear a joke about Net Neutrality?

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Did you hear the joke about Net Neutrality?

Sorry, your current internet package does not support punchlines. Please upgrade to the higher end package.

So i heard about what net neutrality is..

But i'm not going to buy that

Have you heard the one about Net Neutrality?

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The MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition

Three small parties of all three Agencies meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big german forest.

For the goal of the competition, they decided that each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins....

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There was an American Soldier at the Neutral Zone in Korea

The American Soldier was a little bored and he seen a North Korean soldier so he asked "Do you speak english?" No response

So he turned to the south and asked a South Korean soldier if he knew english and he got no response back.

The American Soldier thought maybe they knew sign langu...

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Net Neutrality won't ruin everyone's life unlike previously stated

I have it on good authority that the Amish don't give a fuck

What do you call a seal with a non-neutral charge

Sealion

A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard and a Setesh Guard meet on a neutral planet.

It is a tense moment.

The Serpent Guard's eyes glow, the Horus Guard's beak glistens, the Setesh Guard's... nose drips.

I dont understand all the worry about net neutrality, because

[Please make a £100 donation to AT&T for completion of this joke]

The FBI is now investigating Net Neutrality comments

Pai Pai you piece Ajit

I couldn't find any neutral colours while shopping for paint. I asked the assistant if they had any.

He replied "Not currently, but I have grey taupes for the future"

The FCC is trying to take away Net Neutrality.

This isn’t a joke it’s real my dudes

Who is the most politically neutral person in the world?

A pedestrian crossing the road.
He looks left, right and walks straight.

Sorry

You know what they say about net neutrality...

I don't know. The webpage hasn't loaded for me either.

What if net neutrality didn’t work.

Facebook could be the thrift shop for reddit.

As I parked my car for work, I didn't notice that I left the stick in neutral

Things only went downhill from there

Did you hear about Net Neutrality on the United flight?

[Removed by the FCC]

The Net Neutrality issue made me come to the sad realization...

I'll finally have to start paying for movies I get from Pirate Bay.

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Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

Edit: son of a bitch, they're hijacking accounts already!!

Have you heard of this thing called Net Neutrality?

r/all of us have...

Net neutrality is overrated. I can still access all the sites.

Besides, most of them are the same anyway, always showing only 404 and the like.

To play devil’s advocate on this whole Net Neutrality thing...

He’s sure looking forward to meeting Ajit Pai

Why do internet service providers try to end Net Neutrality every few years?

The intent is to provide citizens with a sense of pride and accomplishment in fighting for their rights.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't worry, anyone who doesn't take action in protecting net neutrality will get FREE sex when this blows over!

Specifically, you'll get fucked by Comcast and Verizon.

When you neutralize an acidic solution in a titration, what do you do?

Drop the base.

A man is driving down an old dirt road

As he is driving he notices there are very few houses nearby, as he is enjoying the scenery he runs his car over into the ditch. As it had recently rained the ditch was slick and muddy and he had found himself stuck. He realizes his predicament so he starts walking. He walks up to a house and see's ...

A soldier looks at the sky and suddenly yells: "we gotta act fast, it's about to neutralize our base!". His commanding officer says: "What the hell are you talking about, we ain't even at war!?"

The soldier replies: "Acid rain".

I take LSD every time I go to a dubstep concert, but it always wears off.

I think it’s because the bass neutralizes the acid

The Invasion of Normandy

It was a tough morning on the Omaha beach, and the landing of the Allied troops was not going well. The beach was riddled with obstacles and mines, and the German gunfire was relentless.

Suddenly, the Allied men notice a man emerging from the waters. “I can help you”, he declares in deep voic...

How do you neutralise a hasidic jew?

With a halkali jew

Why does the military stockpile hydrochloric acid?

To neutralize their enemy's strongest bases.

Some acids walked into the enemy base...

Threat Neutralized.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You've heard this before. A few guys are drinking at a bar.

They start talking about getting home and they are concerned their wives will be upset about how late they get home.

First guy says, "I do what I can. I put the car in neutral at the driveway and coast in. I tiptoe inside and sneak into bed. But she still knows."

Second guy said, "I ...

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I wanted to dump my girlfriend in hydrochloric acid...

But that basic bitch neutralized the situation.

The Frog

I was playing golf, and even though I am usually a pretty good player, I was playing horribly that day. As I was about to tee off at the fourth hole I heard a voice say, three wood. I looked around and no one was behind me so I took my stance. Then once again I heard ..three wood. I looked down and ...

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