UPJOKE
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If I had a $ for every post I've seen today about Net Neutrality...

I'd have enough money to view a post next year about Net Neutrality.

Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

I made a joke about net neutrality

Americans didn't get it.

In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends.

Thoughts and prayers.

What's a huge red flag, but also a big plus, so overall it's neutral?

The Swiss flag

A contractor is taking a tour with a client discussing color themes. GREEN SIDE UP!

The contractor yelled out the living room window as he turned his attention back to the confused client. "Ah yes you definitely want a neutral tone for a room of this size and a decorator can help pick out the right furniture to accent." The client relaxed and completely agreed with his insight. "...

Sometimes I feel like a seal is just a neutral sea lion

Neutral

As in

Without an ion

A serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment.

The serpent guard’s eyes glow. The Horus guard’s beak glistens. The Setesh guard’s nose drips.

A knight and a wizard encounter a dragon.

Near the end of the battle, the dragon breathes fire at the knight, taking 2,199 of his 2,200 HP. The wizard uses 10 of his last 15 MP and deals 200 damage. The dragon, only having 199 HP left, dies and the knight and wizard are victorious.

The knight's remaining 1 HP starts fading. The wizar...

Why is Stephen such a neutral name?

Because its pH is in the middle.

If I had $ for every time I heard about net neutrality

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You really ought to hear this joke about Net Neutrality now.

Or you'll pay for it later.

With the outrage regarding the repeal of Net Neutrality, it is important to remember that there are two sides to this issue.

The outraged side,

And the uninformed.

A man is driving down an old dirt road

As he is driving he notices there are very few houses nearby, as he is enjoying the scenery he runs his car over into the ditch. As it had recently rained the ditch was slick and muddy and he had found himself stuck. He realizes his predicament so he starts walking. He walks up to a house and see's ...

I couldn't find any neutral colours while shopping for paint. I asked the assistant if they had any.

He replied "Not currently, but I have grey taupes for the future"

80% of Americans want net neutrality

The other 20% are dead

As I parked my car for work, I didn't notice that I left the stick in neutral

Things only went downhill from there

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With Net Neutrality gone I’m finally ready to start my new business- Carrier Pigeons

You may laugh now, but you won’t be when my pigeons deliver nudes faster than your service provider

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

Edit: son of a bitch, they're hijacking accounts already!!

A soldier looks at the sky and suddenly yells: "we gotta act fast, it's about to neutralize our base!". His commanding officer says: "What the hell are you talking about, we ain't even at war!?"

The soldier replies: "Acid rain".

How do you neutralize Lords of Acid?

With some Ace of Base.

What's the deal with Net Neutrality?

(This post has been blocked by your service provider)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was an American Soldier at the Neutral Zone in Korea

The American Soldier was a little bored and he seen a North Korean soldier so he asked "Do you speak english?" No response

So he turned to the south and asked a South Korean soldier if he knew english and he got no response back.

The American Soldier thought maybe they knew sign langu...

What do you call a website without net neutrality?

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I dont understand all the worry about net neutrality, because

[Please make a £100 donation to AT&T for completion of this joke]

What do you get when you repeal net neutrality?

[punchline loading, please wait]

Want to hear a joke about Net Neutrality?

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Don't worry too much about Net Neutrality!

Spending extra dollars to use some websites will give you a "sense of pride and accomplishment"!

So i heard about what net neutrality is..

But i'm not going to buy that

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Net Neutrality won't ruin everyone's life unlike previously stated

I have it on good authority that the Amish don't give a fuck

Have you heard the one about Net Neutrality?

THIS POST HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY YOUR INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER. PAY $10 TO SEE THIS GREAT JOKE.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't worry, anyone who doesn't take action in protecting net neutrality will get FREE sex when this blows over!

Specifically, you'll get fucked by Comcast and Verizon.

Did you hear the joke about Net Neutrality?

Sorry, your current internet package does not support punchlines. Please upgrade to the higher end package.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a pretty neutral guy.

I find it hard to choose sides.

I mean, I have an uncle who drives a truck for Pepsi and a cousin who sucks dick for coke.

What do you call a seal with a non-neutral charge

Sealion

Who is the most politically neutral person in the world?

A pedestrian crossing the road.
He looks left, right and walks straight.

Sorry

Why do internet service providers try to end Net Neutrality every few years?

The intent is to provide citizens with a sense of pride and accomplishment in fighting for their rights.

The FBI is now investigating Net Neutrality comments

Pai Pai you piece Ajit

Excited about Net Neutrality Repeal

Now all my opponents will have the same ping as I.

Did you hear about Net Neutrality on the United flight?

[Removed by the FCC]

You know what they say about net neutrality...

I don't know. The webpage hasn't loaded for me either.

The FCC is trying to take away Net Neutrality.

This isn’t a joke it’s real my dudes

The Net Neutrality issue made me come to the sad realization...

I'll finally have to start paying for movies I get from Pirate Bay.

To play devil’s advocate on this whole Net Neutrality thing...

He’s sure looking forward to meeting Ajit Pai

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wanted to dump my girlfriend in hydrochloric acid...

But that basic bitch neutralized the situation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Neutral

A woman goes shoe shopping and discovers that all of the mainstream brands are out of stock. She yells and complains to the manager until a customer throws an orange at her.

At this, the woman miraculously calms down and immediately leaves the store. Dumbfounded, the manager asks the custome...

What if net neutrality didn’t work.

Facebook could be the thrift shop for reddit.

Net neutrality is overrated. I can still access all the sites.

Besides, most of them are the same anyway, always showing only 404 and the like.

Post Net-Neutrality

Google User: I want the search results!

ISP: You can't afford the search results!

I was getting home very late after drinking with friends...

I was getting home very late after drinking with friends.

When I was close to home I turned off my headlights, put the car in neutral and coasted up to the house. I closed the car door very quietly, took off my shoes and closed the front door very quietly. Carrying my shoes I tip toed up th...

The MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition

Three small parties of all three Agencies meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big german forest.

For the goal of the competition, they decided that each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins....

I take LSD every time I go to a dubstep concert, but it always wears off.

I think it’s because the bass neutralizes the acid

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A politician, drug dealer, beekeeper, priest, doctor, lawyer, accountant, engineer, prostitute, programmer, nurse, chef, forensic analyst, biologist, truck driver and a writer walk into a bar

It is a big bar. Very big one. And empty, or at least it was empty until this large group of people entered it.

They all form a queue in front of the bar and order drinks one by one. The politician gets a Heineken, the drug dealer orders a Budweiser, the beekeeper gets a mead, the priest buy...

Why are neutralization reations illegal?

They involve assault.

Two electricians are standing on a ladder leaned against a utility pole...

...when an elderly lady was passing below them. One of the electricians calls her.

\- Excuse me, ma'm! Could you pass us that wire, so we don't have to climb down?

\- This one, young man?

\- Yes, that one! Thank you so much, ma'm, you're very kind!

\- No problem, dear!...

Why would the military use acid?

To neutralize the enemy base.

How do you neutralise a hasidic jew?

With a halkali jew

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