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Nike Jokes

Why do children in China all have iPhones and wear Nike?

Employee discounts

Nike once did animal testing on their shoes

None of them fit.

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

She introduces hersel...

Nike has given its staff a week off for a mental health break.

Big tick.

What does Thanos, Nike, and Darth Sidious have in common?

Just Do It

(would also accept uses young children to complete goals.

I quit my job working for Nike.

Just couldn’t do it anymore.

Nike should operate a suicide hotline

And tell every caller to “just do it”

What is skeleton nike's motto

Just Doot It

Apparently Rihanna is partnering with Nike to make big shoes for women

They're calling them AirRihanna Grandes

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What do the KKK and Nike have in common?

They encourage black people to run!

There once was a Nike shoe.

There once was a Nike shoe.

He lived with his wife who was also a Nike shoe and together they had identical twins, an adorable pair of two left Nike shoes.

But Nike shoe wasn’t happy. You see, he hated his job--the mundane monotony of never being the shoe he knew he could be. One day...

Nike have unveiled a pair of trainers made from pineapple leather to appeal to Vegans...

They tried other fruits, but reviews said the ones made from bananas felt too much like slippers.

If Nike was founded by a women

Then the tag line would be "Just do it....If you want too...I dont want to force you...Its your life...anyways you never listen to me...Do whatever you want...Who am I to say"

This is a joke I heard back in 2000

George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wan...

The German National Basketball team just signed an exclusive sponsorship deal with Nike

From now on the only sneakers they'll be wearing are Herr Jordan's

Nike should make shoe named the Lebron James and charge half price ….

because they dont come with a soul.

Nike and TOMS are embarking on a joint venture...

...for every pair of shoes you buy, they'll donate a pair to the child who made them.

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Nike has come out with a bra that aids virgin boys.

Just Undo It.

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A very tall man walks into a bar...

and a lady recognizes him as a pro Rugby player. They start to talk and eventually go back to his place.


They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK.
"What's that for?" the lady questions.
"Oh, I have this so that when I'm ...

I called my stockbroker yesterday and told him to sell all my Nike. He asked me if I was sure.

I told him just do it. We had a good run.

I sold all my Nike stock this afternoon.

It was a good run.

I walked into an old defunct Nike store today. The place was depressing because-

there wasn't a sole in sight.

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A wheelchair user rides towards a bar.

On his way in he notices a man stood by the door smoking a cig.

The wheelchair user looks at the smoker and says "you do know that there is no reason for doing that at all. It won't make you feel better. It won't help you to fit in. It won't make you look cool."

"Really" says the smoke...

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According to my Nike Fitbit

I masturbated 4 miles today

There was a fire at the plant where they make Nike Jordans.

Over a thousand soles were lost.

Nike just announced it will now be using robots instead of children to make shoes

Unfortunately, the robots will be made by children.

I worry that if Nike sponsored a Suicide Prevention Day event...

...the words "Just Do It" would be everywhere.

Walking inside a Nike store would be the worst place to contemplate suicide.

Just do it.

My buddy Mike wants to change his name by just one letter.

I keep telling him: "Nike, Just do it."

He doesn't get it.

Swoosh

I just bought a pair of Nike's from a drug dealer. (other brands are available)

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all night.

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I went outside the pub last night for a cigarette.

I got talking to a guy in a wheelchair, he said,

"Why do you smoke when you don't have to?"

I looked at him and asked, "Why the fuck are you wearing Nike Trainers?"

Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be good enough at skating, biking, surfing, or running to be chosen to represent a brand like Nike, Red Bull, or Under Armour. Recently the pandemic has allowed me to double down on recreation and hone my craft, and I finally got a sponsor.

Thanks Alcoholics Anonymous!

You can get shoes like Zion Williamson's for cheap.

Nike is having a blowout sale!

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Sponsor tattoos

A pro marathon runner gets sponsor tattoos and can't wait to show his girlfriend. He says," Look honey, I have Nike on my arm and Starter on by back!" Later that night in bed, he pulls off his pants, the girlfriend sees "Aids" tattooed on his penis, screams and runs into the bathroom. The runner ye...

What kind of footwear do robbers use for sneaking around?

Probably Nike or Adidas

Adidas: Should we send out this email ad?

Nike: Just do it.

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A girl saw a guy full of tattoos.

"Nike" was written on his arms, "Reebok" was written on his legs, "Puma" was written on his chest. She was shocked when she saw "Aids" written on his dick.

He said, "Relax. When it enlarges, it becomes Adidas."

Condoms galore

Nike Condoms: Just do it.


Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.


Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.


Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.


Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.


Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: T...

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John was a very fat guy who was sick of being ridiculed all the time.

So he decided to do something to reduce his weight. Next morning he found an advertisement in the newspaper claiming to help him lose weight quickly. Intrigued, he called them and asked for the plans available.
The operator told him that there are three plans
"10 pounds in a week"
"20 po...

I saw a guy with no shoes today

Couldn't tell if he was homeless or protesting Nike

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Asian guy at my college

So I'm in college math class, and two new guys walk in. They introduce themselves as brothers, Ling and Ving. After a few days of talking, (Ving sits next to me) he says I can get help from him in trig if I answer him one question. I say, sure. (I'm bombing trig so I'd sell my soul to pass.) He asks...

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I saw a black man...

I saw a black man in Nikes running down the street carrying a 55" TV and I thought to myself, "Is that mine?"

Then I remembered that mine wears Reebok.

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