What does Thanos, Nike, and Darth Sidious have in common?

Just Do It

(would also accept uses young children to complete goals.

Nike has given its staff a week off for a mental health break.

Big tick.

Nike have unveiled a pair of trainers made from pineapple leather to appeal to Vegans...

They tried other fruits, but reviews said the ones made from bananas felt too much like slippers.

Nike should operate a suicide hotline

And tell every caller to “just do it”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very tall man walks into a bar...

and a lady recognizes him as a pro Rugby player. They start to talk and eventually go back to his place.


They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK.
"What's that for?" the lady questions.
"Oh, I have this so that when I'm ...

Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be good enough at skating, biking, surfing, or running to be chosen to represent a brand like Nike, Red Bull, or Under Armour. Recently the pandemic has allowed me to double down on recreation and hone my craft, and I finally got a sponsor.

Thanks Alcoholics Anonymous!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fuck off Nike!

Do it yourself

Huge fire reported at the Nike shoe factory

Over a thousand soles were lost

Apparently Rihanna is partnering with Nike to make big shoes for women

They're calling them AirRihanna Grandes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

She introduces hersel...

Why do children in China all have iPhones and wear Nike?

Employee discounts

The German National Basketball team just signed an exclusive sponsorship deal with Nike

From now on the only sneakers they'll be wearing are Herr Jordan's

Nike should make shoe named the Lebron James and charge half price ….

because they dont come with a soul.

What is skeleton nike's motto

Just Doot It

I walked into an old defunct Nike store today. The place was depressing because-

there wasn't a sole in sight.

I quit my job working for Nike.

Just couldn’t do it anymore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nike has come out with a bra that aids virgin boys.

Just Undo It.

If Nike was founded by a women

Then the tag line would be "Just do it....If you want too...I dont want to force you...Its your life...anyways you never listen to me...Do whatever you want...Who am I to say"

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What does the KKK and Nike's shoes have in common?

They both make black people run faster

Everybody is asking where is Jack Ma

For all we know he might have stitched your new Nike shoes.

Nike just announced it will now be using robots instead of children to make shoes

Unfortunately, the robots will be made by children.

Nike and TOMS are embarking on a joint venture...

...for every pair of shoes you buy, they'll donate a pair to the child who made them.

This is a joke I heard back in 2000

George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wan...

Just wondering why Nike didn’t pick Tanya Harding for it’s ads.

Wasn’t she the first one to take a knee?

I sold all my Nike stock this afternoon.

It was a good run.

There once was a Nike shoe.

There once was a Nike shoe.

He lived with his wife who was also a Nike shoe and together they had identical twins, an adorable pair of two left Nike shoes.

But Nike shoe wasn’t happy. You see, he hated his job--the mundane monotony of never being the shoe he knew he could be. One day...

Walking inside a Nike store would be the worst place to contemplate suicide.

Just do it.

I just bought a pair of Nike's from a drug dealer. (other brands are available)

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all night.

I worry that if Nike sponsored a Suicide Prevention Day event...

...the words "Just Do It" would be everywhere.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

According to my Nike Fitbit

I masturbated 4 miles today

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wheelchair user rides towards a bar.

On his way in he notices a man stood by the door smoking a cig.

The wheelchair user looks at the smoker and says "you do know that there is no reason for doing that at all. It won't make you feel better. It won't help you to fit in. It won't make you look cool."

"Really" says the smoke...

My buddy Mike wants to change his name by just one letter.

I keep telling him: "Nike, Just do it."

He doesn't get it.

Swoosh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John was a very fat guy who was sick of being ridiculed all the time.

So he decided to do something to reduce his weight. Next morning he found an advertisement in the newspaper claiming to help him lose weight quickly. Intrigued, he called them and asked for the plans available.
The operator told him that there are three plans
"10 pounds in a week"
"20 po...

Condoms galore

Nike Condoms: Just do it.


Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.


Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.


Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.


Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.


Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: T...

One of my dearest childhood friends is now a world champion wrestler

He’s so popular. Got sponsorship deals with Nike and Adidas. He’s even in talks with UFC! He’s touring the world and hanging out with celebrities. I’m so damned proud of him!!
Only thing is, I’ve been trying for months to get him to meet up for a drink, but he’s a hard man to pin down.

You can get shoes like Zion Williamson's for cheap.

Nike is having a blowout sale!

I saw a guy with no shoes today

Couldn't tell if he was homeless or protesting Nike

One day bush went jogging...

One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.
Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.

After cleaning up he said, “Boys, you saved the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a black man...

I saw a black man in Nikes running down the street carrying a 55" TV and I thought to myself, "Is that mine?"

Then I remembered that mine wears Reebok.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jews mother dies...

And he decides to send her back to Israel, per her will, to be buried. So he sends the coffin back with a letter atop the casket. His brother opens it and it reads:

Dear brother,

Ima died and wants to be laid to rest here. Please follow her request and bury her here. Also, I have sen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Asian guy at my college

So I'm in college math class, and two new guys walk in. They introduce themselves as brothers, Ling and Ving. After a few days of talking, (Ving sits next to me) he says I can get help from him in trig if I answer him one question. I say, sure. (I'm bombing trig so I'd sell my soul to pass.) He asks...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just heard this better version of a classic...

A guy and a gal hit it off at the bar. One thing leads to another and they end up back at his place.

The gal is impressed. This guy is a total catch. Professional triathlete, nice house, well spoken and chivalrous. Best of all: no tattoos. This gal hates tattoos.

Well, one thing lead...

The Headless Statue

A man and his wife were touring the Louvre, when they came across the [statue of the goddess, Nike](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2444/4075352320_21271e99e9.jpg).

The man remarks, "Ah, such beauty. It is a shame that the sculptor decided to leave out her head."

"Well, to me, it's rath...

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