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Mastercard Jokes

Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia on a Mastercard?

Because his Visa didn't work!

Why can't the Vatican accept Visa or Mastercard?

Because it's a Paypal state

It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman.

Doesn't matter if it's Visa or Mastercard.

Why can anyone go to Mastercard headquarters?

It's completely Visa-free

There is a sign at a gas station that said, 'We take Visa, Mastercard, Discover Card, and American Express.'

After I filled up they took my Visa, Master Card, my Discover Card, and my American Express.

As someone who has received a temporary visa, I have a warning for everyone:

They are a gateway to permanent Mastercards.

Elon Musk's new MasterCard Ad.

Getting a person to Mars?: $100,000.
Getting them back?: Priceless.

If foreigners are upset to have had their visas cancelled...

Why don't they just apply for MasterCards instead?

Why does Anakin Skywalker only pay with cash?

He doesn’t have a Mastercard.

Anakin went to pay for dinner,

but his MasterCard got declined....

Stranded on an island

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.



Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,



“Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we ...

You know how were slaves paid for?

With a Mastercard.

Cool Morals:

1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa.
2. One should love animals. They are tasty too.
3. Save water. Drink beer.
4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick.
5. Books are holy. So don't touch them.
6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught.
7....

One day at Bass Pro Shop...

A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a fishing rod for her son's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. An associate is standing there in dark shades. She says "Excuse me, could you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Funny but old fake adopt an Enron Exec email from way back.

Remember that whole Enron Scandal? I was looking through some old computer back up disks and found this. Probably wont be funny to younger kids but some old farts like me might get a chuckle:


**Adopt an Enron Executive**

Dear kind-hearted friends...Now that the holiday season has p...

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