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Swimwear Jokes

What did Jon Bon Jovi do when his swimwear froze?

He made it icewear.

If being a 23 year old Norwegian swimwear model has taught me anything

It’s that catfishing is surprisingly easy online

Two rednecks went to the beach

The younger of the two said "This sucks, man! None of the girls are even noticing me!"

His older friend said "I tell you what- maybe if you put a sock in your swim trunks, that would help get you some more attention."

So the younger boy went to the changing room and adjusted his swimw...

What's the difference between swim wear for men and swim wear for women?

Men's swimwear is designed for swimming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Gym (at 40) - Try and read this without laughing out loud!

Dear Diary

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since playing football 24 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

Called ...

A rabbi and a priest go for a walk

A rabbi and a priest go for a walk on a hot summer day. They come by a river and the rabbi suggests to take a bath. The priest is hesitant as he doesn't have any swimwear with him, however the rabbi convinces him to jump in just like God made him.
Both swim for a while and once refreshed, they la...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ms. Nugent, a retired widow went to the beach wearing a bra and thong.

Her husband had died a few years back and after years of mourning she decided it was time to get back in the game. And what better way than to go to the beach in a racy, sexy swimsuit to snag a man. In her youth, this plan never seemed to fail although in that time, they didn't have thongs.

A...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ordered a pool cue over the phone and you'll never guess what had happened.

I got home from work and there was a line of people in fucking swimwear

A man is with his wife at the beach...

when all of a sudden a gorgeous, young, well-endowed woman sporting very revealing swimwear walks up to the man and greets him, as if they knew each other. When she leaves, the man's wife asks him, "Who the hell was that?" Slightly nervous, the man replies, "Just a woman I met professionally." Th...

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