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Nightmares Jokes

Why do diabetics always have nightmares?

They can't have sweet dreams.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because we shot the last one who had a dream.

All of my wet dreams are nightmares

I call them scream and creams

I have nightmares about getting head from my ex

Thinking about it keeps me up at night.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Proctologist have nightmares?

He's seen some shit before.

Why did 10 have PTSD and horrible nightmares

He was in the middle of 9-11

Henry would have recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house

There was a man named Henry who would having recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house. While the nightmare would always end with the burglar failing to enter, Henry still feared that this could be an omen. Every morning after checking for signs of a break in and findi...

I've suffered from terrible nightmares for years now

Not once have they disturbed my sleep. At this point, I don't think they're even trying to be frightening.

I always have nightmares

I found a breed of female horses that's up all night

Being under lockdown for Covid, my wife started having nightmares that our house is made of celery.

Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.

When I was about 9 years old, my father forced me to go with him to the funeral of a friend of his, that I didn't know.

When we got there, I stayed in a corner, waiting for time to pass by. Then a man approached me and said, "Enjoy life boy, be happy because time flies. Look at me now.... I didn't enjoy it." He then passed his hand over my head and left.

My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodbye to ...

A man suffering for weeks from terrible nightmares goes to the doctor…

Man: Please doctor, you’ve got to help me with these nightmares!

Doctor: What type of dreams are you having?

Man: Well, I always dream of these awful rats playing football. Seeing them crawl, tackle, squeal night after night—it’s terrible! Do you have a remedy for me?

Doctor: I’...

A man goes to the doctor and tells the doctor that he’s been suffering from terrible nightmares

“What are these nightmares about?” Asks the doctor.

“Well,” says the man “I’m standing in front of a door with a sign on it, I keep pushing and pushing but the door just won’t open!”

“Interesting. And what does the sign say?”

“Pull!”

A billionaire buys an elephant

Two billionaire friends meet. After a casual conversation, one of them finally asks: So, how's your home life?

The other answers: Couldn't be better! I bought an elephant!

The other guy looks at him astonished: An elephant? Have you gone mad?

The guy replies, smiling: Oh, man, ...

I ate a load of of licorice at bedtime and had some very strange nightmares.

What were you dreaming about?



All sorts.

As a dyslexic, travel can be a nightmare

Sorry, wrong bus.

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