How Pravda reported about the Chernobyl meltdown

In glorious power plant Chernobyl ingenious Russian engineers managed to fulfill 5 year plan of power production in mere 5 milliseconds.

A guy is driving past the White House....

...and he sees that the road is blocked, but they are letting cars through one at a time. There are crowds on the sidewalk, shouting, but he can't hear what's being said.

Finally he gets to the roadblock, and rolls down his window. "What's going on?" he asks.

"Donald Trump has had ...

CEO Brian Krzanich sold his stock, and it might be considered insider trading...

You could say he had certain Intel about the situation.

This could turn into a total Meltdown.

A windmill and a solar panel are talking during a storm...

Windmill "Awesome weather we are having!"
Solar panel "I am not a fan."
Added thanks to /r/ChiisaiMurasaki: The nuclear powerplant overhears them feels left out, so he has a meltdown. What an over reactor!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bathroom and asks another man for help "please undo my zipper!" NSFW

Other guy nearly refuses but, upon noticing the man doesn't have arms, reluctantly unzips him and begins to walk away.

"Please, help me pull it out and, if you wouldn't mind, zip me back up when I'm done."

Feeling sorry for his fellow man, and recognizing the need to assist him, he p...

Iron was talking to his good friend Aluminum...

About his girlfriend Oxide. Aluminum told Iron that he should just dump her. "You don't need that kind of negativity in your life", he said. So Iron took his advice and sent Oxide packing, but Aluminum swooped in immediately after and started seeing Oxide himself.

Needless to say, things got ...

Trump got a sandwich named after him at his favorite deli.

Commander in Cheese Meltdown.

They put it on the kid's menu.

Kid, are you a nuclear reactor?

Because you're having a meltdown.

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