My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy.

She’s Tolkien in her sleep.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got in trouble for something I did while my girlfriend was dreaming

Apparently it’s not ok for me to have sex with her friend , even if she’s sleeping

Dreaming is the easiest thing ever

I can do it in my sleep

A man spends his days studying archeology at university, and his nights dreaming of someday finding a girlfriend.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never master the techniques of dating.

Eventually, his professors had to fail him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was dreaming about having diarrhea and then I woke up.

That's when shit got real.

I keep dreaming that I am made out of car parts.

I am always tired, and wake up exhausted.

"Do you know my father is a doctor?"

Guy 2: Wow! My father is a doctor too!

Guy 1: Phillip is my last name.

Guy 2 [excited]: Omg! My surname is Phillip too.

Guy 1: I'm 23 years old.

Guy 2: What? Get out of here [laughing], I'm also 23 years old.

Guy 1: Don't tell me that you are born on the 14th of Au...

A joke I thought up while dreaming last night: Why do criminals hate coins?

Because half of them are coppers.

I've been staring at topless models all day, just dreaming

But sadly, I can't afford the diecast convertible cars at the moment

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plane crashes on an island with cannibals. Only a German, a Russian and an American survive.

The cannibals immediately capture them and bring them to their village. Their chieftain says: "We certainly want to kill and eat you, but our customs demand for a ritual that gives you a fair chance. For the first part of the ritual, you each go to the jungle and capture an animal."

The Germa...

What was Stevie Wonder and Emperor Palpatine's favorite thing about dreaming.

Visions of the dark side

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

...is one of Donald Trumps more offensive slogans.

For all you men dreaming of elaborate ways of hooking up with an Instagram model, all it took me was a good dinner date....

Just some food for thot.

A woman goes to her doctor complaining of strange dreams.

"I keep dreaming that I'm peeing on nickels, dimes, and quarters," she tells him. He runs some tests and then tells her that everything's fine, that she's just going through her change.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.