At a circus there’s a calamity and two lions escape.

They manage to grab hold of a clown and start devouring him. One lion turns to the other and asks “does this taste funny to you?”

Dr: "I have some good news and some bad news Spiderman. The good news is that the constant tingling sensation isn't your Spidey sense warning you of some huge, impending calamity!"

"What's the bad news Doc?"

"Well son, what do you know about genital herpes?"

Many people lost everything in the Wall st. crash of 1929.

But some people got out in time. John Raskob was one of these. When asked how he avoided calamity he answered:

I owe it all to my shoe shine boy.

I knew when my shoe shine boy was giving me stock tips it was time to get out of the market.

CIA Entrance Test

3 finalists are in the running for an open CIA agent position. They're in a room awaiting their final evaluation to determine which one of them will get the job.

The first applicant is called into a separate room. There is a gun there and their spouse, seated on a chair. They are told to sho...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Alternative phrases to "Calm your tits"

* Soothe Your boobs
* De-stress your breasts
* Undo the calamity that is your mammaries
* adjust your bust before it combusts
* Give that chest a rest
* Hakuna your tatas
* Dont have a rack attack
* Bring peace to your bosoms

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