What do you call it when a man lies about his p*nis size?

A Phallacy!

Request from a worried P*nis

I, the P\*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following

reasons:



1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. In fact holidays and weekends are when I to...

In French we don't say 'ninety nine'...

..instead we say 'quatre-vingt dix neuf' which translates as 'we don't have a functional numerical system'

As a white man I can't say the word Ni....

But I can say "thank you for the warning officer.."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ni Ka Sai!

An Important rep goes to Japan to meet potential customers.

he takes them out to a local golf course for a round of golf.

when they start off on the first hole, our Rep makes a huge miss and ends up on the 18th hole green. not only that its a Hole in one!

all the japanese custom...

How do you pronounce nihilist? Like Ni-Hil-List? Or Nigh-Hill-Ist?

Never mind. It doesn't matter.

can·ni·bal ˈkanəb(ə)l/ noun

Someone that is fed up with people

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told a joke to a Japanese guy earlier about Sodium and Nickel...

He didn't get it though, so he just said "NaNi?!"

How does a Chinese cowboy say “Hi” ?

Ni haody

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Goldilocks and the three cars.

Goldilocks had grown into a fine young lady now, and so she decided to revisit the three bears, just to see how they were all doing.

As she wandered down the path, she ended up at their house, signed "The Three Bears".
She didn't see any sign of them around.

Typical.

Yet, so...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

fancy dress party

Man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his p\*nis.

A Lady asks, "What are you?"

He says, "I'm a fireman."

"But you're only wearing a glass jar," says the woman.

He says, "Exactly, in an emergency, break glass." Pull knob and I'll cum as fast as I ...

How do Chinese people greet you in Texas?

Ni Howdy

I think my cat's a communist...

He won't shut up about Mao

How to speak Chinese

That's not right..................................Sum Ting Wong


Are you harbouring a fugitive?...............Hu Yu Hai Ding?


See me asap......................................Kum Hia Nao


Stupid man........................................Dum Gai


Small horse....

What group of people’s favorite element is Nickel?

The Knights who say Ni!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Japanese friend bought a new Sentra and named it 123

When I asked why 123, he replied with

"Ichi Ni san"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An itch in the knee?

A Japanese father and son were stationed at a siege tower to guard the tower's hatch. Suddenly, the father felt an itch on his left knee.

Back in the day, the Japanese thought that having an itch in the knee was a bad omen, often signifying an imminent enemy attack.

He knew that ther...

Learn to speak Chinese

1) That’s not right ………………….. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?…………. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP………………………….. Kum Hia Nao
4) Small Horse ……………………. Tai Ni Po Ni
5) Did you go to the beach? ………… Wai Yu So Tan
6) I bumped into a coffee table …….. Ai Bang Mai ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Black Testicles

Black Testicles
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult
four hour, surgical procedure.
A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
'Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the...

With women being able to drive in Saudi Arabia, they will open a woman-only taxi service.

It'll be called NiCab.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Japanese father say to his son when he got a bug bite on his knee?

You got an ichi-ni-san?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Most Ethnically-Diverse Joke Ever Told

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Apache, an Argentinean, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You are never too old to learn something new

You are never too old to learn something new...

I LOVE YOU IN 10 LANGUAGES

English

I Love You

Spanish

Te Amo

French

Je T'aime

German

Ich Liebe Dich

Japanese

Ai Shite Imasu

Italian

Ti Amo

Chinese

...

One engine on a plane is failing...

So the pilot comes over the speaker and says 'Unfortunately the plane won't be able to handle all of the passengers without crashing. We will have to start removing passengers from the plane giving them parachutes and pushing them out until we reach our ideal flying weight. We will choose people alp...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lieutenant Mc Murphy was a Fighter Pilot

during WW II, but they would never let him fly because he would crash his aircraft, shoot down his own men or screw up the Mission.
One day the Captain called him to his office. He said " McMurphy all our Pilots have been shot down, you are the only Pilot left". " I am sending you on a suicide m...

How does an Asian Cowboy say Hello?

"Ni-Hao-dy"

A man was going for a holiday to Acapulco, Mexico...

But since he does not speak any Spanish, he is a bit worried if he will be alright.

He talks to an old friend about his worries and the friend tells him "Don't worry! Spanish is not so hard to speak. Many words are similar to english, so if you just speak slowly enough, I'm sure they will und...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.